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〃What else have you discovered？〃 he asked； in low； stern tones。
〃Nothing； Eustace。〃
〃Nothing？〃 He paused as he repeated the word； and passed his hand
over his forehead in a weary way。 〃Nothing； of course；〃 he
resumed； speaking to himself； 〃or she would not be here。〃 He
paused once more； and looked at me searchingly。 〃Don't say again
what you said just now；〃 he went on。 〃For your own sake； Valeria；
as well as for mine。〃 He dropped into the nearest chair； and said
no more。
I certainly heard the warning； but the only words which really
produced an impression on my mind were the words preceding it；
which he had spoken to himself。 He had said： 〃Nothing； of course；
_or she could not be here。〃_ If I had found out some other truth
besides the truth about the name； would it have prevented me from
ever returning to my husband？ Was that what he meant？ Did the
sort of discovery that he contemplated mean something so dreadful
that it would have parted us at once and forever？ I stood by his
chair in silence； and tried to find the answer to those terrible
questions in his face。 It used to speak to me so eloquently when
it spoke of his love。 It told me nothing now。
He sat for some time without looking at me； lost in his own
thoughts。 Then he rose on a sudden and took his hat。
〃The friend who lent me the yacht is in town；〃 he said。 〃I
suppose I had better see him； and say our plans are changed。〃 He
tore up the telegram with an air of sullen resignation as he
spoke。 〃You are evidently determined not to go to sea with me；〃
he resumed。 〃We had better give it up。 I don't see what else is
to be done。 Do you？〃
His tone was almost a tone of contempt。 I was too depressed about
myself； too alarmed about _him；_ to resent it。
〃Decide as you think best； Eustace；〃 I said； sadly。 〃Every way；
the prospect seems a hopeless one。 As long as I am shut out from
your confidence； it matters little whether we live on land or at
seawe cannot live happily。〃
〃If you could control your curiosity。〃 he answered； sternly； 〃we
might live happily enough。 I thought I had married a woman who
was superior to the vulgar failings of her sex。 A good wife
should know better than to pry into affairs of her husband's with
which she had no concern。〃
Surely it was hard to bear this？ However； I bore it。
〃Is it no concern of mine？〃 I asked； gently； 〃when I find that my
husband has not married me under his family name？ Is it no
concern of mine when I hear your mother say； in so many words；
that she pities your wife？ It is hard； Eustace； to accuse me of
curiosity because I cannot accept the unendurable position in
which you have placed me。 Your cruel silence is a blight on my
happiness and a threat to my future。 Your cruel silence is
estranging us from each other at the beginning of our married
life。 And you blame me for feeling this？ You tell me I am prying
into affairs which are yours only？ They are _not_ yours only： I
have my interest in them too。 Oh； my darling； why do you trifle
with our love and our confidence in each other？ Why do you keep
me in the dark？〃
He answered with a stern and pitiless brevity；
〃For your own good。〃
I turned away from him in silence。 He was treating me like a
child。
He followed me。 Putting one hand heavily on my shoulder； he
forced me to face him once more。
〃Listen to this；〃 he said。 〃What I am now going to say to you I
say for the first and last time。 Valeria！ if you ever discover
what I am now keeping from your knowledgefrom that moment you
live a life of torture； your tranquillity is gone。 Your days will
be days of terror； your nights will be full of horrid
dreamsthrough no fault of mine； mind！ through no fault of mine！
Every day of your life you will feel some new distrust； some
growing fear of me； and you will be doing me the vilest injustice
all the time。 On my faith as a Christian； on my honor as a man；
if you stir a step further in this matter； there is an end to
your happiness for the rest of your life！ Think seriously of what
I have said to you； you will have time to reflect。 I am going to
tell my friend that our plans for the Mediterranean are given up。
I shall not be back before the evening。〃 He sighed； and looked at
me with unutterable sadness。 〃I love you； Valeria；〃 he said。 〃In
spite of all that has passed； as God is my witness； I love you
more dearly than ever。〃
So he spoke。 So he left me。
I must write the truth about myself； however strange it may
appear。 I don't pretend to be able to analyze my own motives； I
don't pretend even to guess how other women might have acted in
my place。 It is true of me； that my husband's terrible
warningall the more terrible in its mystery and its
vaguenessproduced no deterrent effect on my mind： it only
stimulated my resolution to discover what he was hiding from me。
He had not been gone two minutes before I rang the bell and
ordered the carriage； to take me to Major Fitz…David's house in
Vivian Place。
Walking to and fro while I was waitingI was in such a fever of
excitement that it was impossible for me to sit stillI
accidentally caught sight of myself in the glass。
My own face startled me； it looked so haggard and so wild。 Could
I present myself to a stranger； could I hope to produce the
necessary impression in my favor； looking as I looked at that
moment？ For all I knew to the contrary； my whole future might
depend upon the effect which I produced on Major Fitz…David at
first sight。 I rang the bell again； and sent a message to one of
the chambermaids to follow me to my room。
I had no maid of my own with me： the stewardess of the yacht
would have acted as my
attendant if we had held to our first arrangement。 It mattered
little； so long as I had a woman to help me。 The chambermaid
appeared。 I can give no better idea of the disordered and
desperate condition of my mind at that time than by owning that I
actually consulted this perfect stranger on the question of my
personal appearance。 She was a middle…aged woman； with a large
experience of the world and its wickedness written legibly on her
manner and on her face。 I put money into the woman's hand； enough
of it to surprise her。 She thanked me with a cynical smile；
evidently placing her own evil interpretation on my motive for
bribing her。
〃What can I do for you； ma'am？〃 she asked； in a confidential
whisper。 〃Don't speak loud！ there is somebody in the next room。〃
〃I want to look my best；〃 I said； 〃and I have sent for you to
help me。〃
〃I understand； ma'am。〃
〃What do you understand？〃
She nodded her head significantly； and whispered to me again。
〃Lord bless you； I'm used to this！〃 she said。 〃There is a
gentleman in the case。 Don't mind me； ma'am。 It's a way I have。 I
mean no harm。〃 She stopped； and looked at me critically。 〃I
wouldn't change my dress if I were you；〃 she went on。 〃The color
becomes you。〃
It was too late to resent the woman's impertinence。 There was no
help for it but to make use of her。 Besides； she was right about
the dress。 It was of a delicate maize…color； prettily trimmed
with lace。 I could wear nothing which suited me better。 My hair；
however； stood in need of some skil