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take a carriage provided by the hotel。
My heart was heavy that morning: I felt the unacknowledged
estrangement that had grown up between us very keenly。 My husband
opened the door to go out; and came back to kiss me before he
left me by myself。 That little after…thought of tenderness
touched me。 Acting on the impulse of the moment; I put my arm
round his neck; and held him to me gently。
〃My darling;〃 I said; 〃give me all your confidence。 I know that
you love me。 Show that you can trust me too。〃
He sighed bitterly; and drew back from mein sorrow; not in
anger。
〃I thought we had agreed; Valeria; not to return to that subject
again;〃 he said。 〃You only distress yourself and distress me。〃
He left the room abruptly; as if he dare not trust himself to say
more。 It is better not to dwell on what I felt after this last
repulse。 I ordered the carriage at once。 I was eager to find a
refuge from my own thoughts in movement and change。
I drove to the shops first; and made the purchases which I had
mentioned to Eustace by way of giving a reason for going out。
Then I devoted myself to the object which I really had at heart。
I went to old Benjamin's little villa; in the by…ways of St。
John's Wood。
As soon as he had got over the first surprise of seeing me; he
noticed that I looked pale and care…worn。 I confessed at once
that I was in trouble。 We sat down together by the bright
fireside in his little library (Benjamin; as far as his means
would allow; was a great collector of books); and there I told my
old friend; frankly and truly; all that I have told here。
He was too distressed to say much。 He fervently pressed my hand;
he fervently thanked God that my father had not lived to hear
what he had heard。 Then; after a pause; he repeated my
mother…in…law's name to himself in a doubting; questioning tone。
〃Macallan?〃 he said。 〃Macallan? Where have I heard that name? Why
does it sound as if it wasn't strange to me?〃
He gave up pursuing the lost recollection; and asked; very
earnestly; what he could do for me。 I answered that he could help
me; in the first place; to put an end to the doubtan
unendurable doubt to _me_whether I were lawfully married or
not。 His energy of the old days when he had conducted my father's
business showed itself again the moment I said those words。
〃Your carriage is at the door; my dear;〃 he answered。 〃Come with
me to my own lawyer; without wasting another moment。〃
We drove to Lincoln's Inn Fields。
At my request Benjamin put my case to the lawyer as the case of a
friend in whom I was interested。 The answer was given without
hesitation。 I had married; honestly believing my husband's name
to be the name under which I had known him。 The witnesses to my
marriagemy uncle; my aunt; and Benjaminhad acted; as I had
acted; in perfect good faith。 Under those circumstances; there
was no doubt about the law。 I was legally married。 Macallan or
Woodville; I was his wife。
This decisive answer relieved me of a heavy anxiety。 I accepted
my old friend's invitation to return with him to St。 John's Wood;
and to make my luncheon at his early dinner。
On our way back I reverted to the one other subject which was now
uppermost in my mind。 I reiterated my resolution to discover why
Eustace had
not married me under the name that was really his own。
My companion shook his head; and entreated me to consider well
beforehand what I proposed doing。 His advice to meso strangely
do extremes meet!was my mother…in…law's advice; repeated almost
word for word。 〃Leave things as they are; my dear。 In the
interest of your own peace of mind be satisfied with your
husband's affection。 You know that you are his wife; and you know
that he loves you。 Surely that is enough?〃
I had but one answer to this。 Life; on such conditions as my good
friend had just stated; would be simply unendurable to me。
Nothing could alter my resolutionfor this plain reason; that
nothing could reconcile me to living with my husband on the terms
on which we were living now。 It only rested with Benjamin to say
whether he would give a helping hand to his master's daughter or
not。
The old man's answer was thoroughly characteristic of him。
〃Mention what you want of me; my dear;〃 was all he said。
We were then passing a street in the neighborhood of Portman
Square。 I was on the point of speaking again; when the words were
suspended on my lips。 I saw my husband。
He was just descending the steps of a houseas if leaving it
after a visit。 His eyes were on the ground: he did not look up
when the…carriage passed。 As the servant closed the door behind
him; I noticed that the number of the house was Sixteen。 At the
next corner I saw the name of the street。 It was Vivian Place。
〃Do you happen to know who lives at Number Sixteen Vivian Place?〃
I inquired of my companion。
Benjamin started。 My question was certainly a strange one; after
what he had just said to me。
〃No;〃 he replied。 〃Why do you ask?〃
〃I have just seen Eustace leaving that house。〃
〃Well; my dear; and what of that?〃
〃My mind is in a bad way; Benjamin。 Everything my husband does
that I don't understand rouses my suspicion now。〃
Benjamin lifted his withered old hands; and let them drop on his
knees again in mute lamentation over me。
〃I tell you again;〃 I went on; 〃my life is unendurable to me。 I
won't answer for what I may do if I am left much longer to live
in doubt of the one man on earth whom I love。 You have had
experience of the world。 Suppose you were shut out from Eustace's
confidence; as I am? Suppose you were as fond of him as I am; and
felt your position as bitterly as I feel itwhat would you do?〃
The question was plain。 Benjamin met it with a plain answer。
〃I think I should find my way; my dear; to some intimate friend
of your husband's;〃 he said; 〃and make a few discreet inquiries
in that quarter first。〃
Some intimate friend of my husband's? I considered with myself。
There was but one friend of his whom I knew ofmy uncle's
correspondent; Major Fitz…David。 My heart beat fast as the name
recurred to my memory。 Suppose I followed Benjamin's advice?
Suppose I applied to Major Fitz…David? Even if he; too; refused
to answer my questions; my position would not be more helpless
than it was now。 I determined to make the attempt。 The only
difficulty in the way; so far; was to discover the Major's
address。 I had given back his letter to Doctor Starkweather; at
my uncle's own request。 I remembered that the address from which
the Major wrote was somewhere in Londonand I remembered no
more。
〃Thank you; old friend; you have given me an idea already;〃 I
said to Benjamin。 〃Have you got a Directory in your house?〃
〃No; my dear;〃 he rejoined; looking very much puzzled。 〃But I can
easily send out and borrow one。〃
We returned to the villa。 The servant was sent at once to the
nearest stationer's to borrow a Directory。 She returned with the
book just as we sat down to dinner。 Searching for the Major's
name under the letter F; I was startled by a new discovery。
〃Benjamin!〃 I said。 〃This is a strange coincidence。 Look here!〃
He looked where I pointed。 Major Fitz…David'