按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
your hand might have trembled toowith the arsenic under the
bedclothes。 You politely hoped； before you went away？ that the
tea would do me goodand； oh God； you could not even look at me
when you said that！ You looked at the broken bits of the tea…cup。
〃The instant you were out of the room I took the poisona double
dose this time。
〃I have a little request to make here； while I think of it。
〃After removing the label from the bottle； and putting it back；
clean； in my dressing…case； it struck me that I had failed to
take the same precaution （in the early morning） with the empty
paper…packet； bearing on it the name of the other chemist。 I
threw it aside on the counterpane of the bed； among some other
loose papers。 my ill…tempered nurse complained of the litter； and
crumpled them all up and put them away somewhere。 I hope the
chemist will not suffer through my carelessness。 Pray bear it in
mind to say that he is not to blame。
〃Dextersomething reminds me of Miserrimus Dexter。 He has put
your Diary back again in the drawer； and he presses me for an
answer to his proposals。 Has this false wretch any conscience？ If
he has； even he will sufferwhen my death answers him。
〃The nurse has been in my room again。 I have sent her away。 I
have told her I want to be alone。
〃How is the time going？ I cannot find my watch。 Is the pain
coming back again and paralyzing me？ I don't feel it keenly yet。
〃It may come back； though； at any moment。 I have still to close
my letter and to address it to you。 And； besides； I must save up
my strength to hide it under the pillow； so that nobody may find
it until after my death。
〃Farewell； my dear。 I wish I had been a prettier woman。 A more
loving woman （toward you） I could not be。 Even now I dread the
sight of your dear face。 Even now； if I allowed myself the luxury
of looking at you； I don't know that you might not charm me into
confessing what I have donebefore it is too late to save me。
〃But you are not here。 Better as it is！ better as it is！
〃Once more； farewell！ Be happier than you have been with me。 I
love you； EustaceI forgive you。 When you have nothing else to
think about； think sometimes； as kindly as you can； of your poor；
ugly
〃SARA MACALLAN。〃*
… * Note by Mr。 Playmore：
The lost words and phrases supplied in this concluding portion of
the letter are so few in number that it is needless to mention
them。 The fragments which were found accidentally stuck together
by the gum； and which represent the part of the letter first
completely reconstructed； begin at the phrase； 〃I spoke of you
shamefully； Eustace；〃 and end with the broken sentence； 〃If in
paying me this little attention； you only encouraged me by one
fond word or one fond look； I resolved not to take〃 With the
assistance thus afforded to us； the labor of putting together the
concluding half of the letter （dated 〃October 20〃） was trifling；
compared with the almost insurmountable difficulties which we
encountered in dealing with the scattered wreck of the preceding
pages。 …
CHAPTER XLVIII。
WHAT ELSE COULD I DO？
As soon as I could dry my eyes and compose my spirits after
reading the wife's pitiable and dreadful farewell； my first
thought was of Eustacemy first anxiety was to prevent him from
ever reading what I had read。
Yes！ to this end it had come。 I had devoted my life to the
attainment of one object； and that object I had gained。 There； on
the table before me； lay the triumphant vindication of my
husband's innocence； and； in mercy to him； in mercy to the memory
of his dead wife； my one hope was that he might never see it！ my
one desire was to hide it from the public view！
I looked back at the strange circumstances under which the letter
had been discovered。
It was all my doingas the lawyer had said。 And yet； what I had
done； I had； so to speak； done blindfold。 The merest accident
might have altered the whole course of later events。 I had over
and over again interfered to check Ariel when she entreated the
Master to 〃tell her a story。〃 If she had not succeeded； in spite
of my opposition； Miserrimus Dexter's last effort of memory might
never have been directed to the tragedy at Gleninch。 And； again；
if I had only remembered to move my chair； and so to give
Benjamin the signal to leave off； he would never have written
down the apparently senseless words which have led us to the
discovery of the truth。
Looking back at events in this frame of mind； the very sight of
the letter sickened and horrified me。 I cursed the day which had
disinterred the fragments of it from their foul tomb。 Just at the
time when Eustace had found his weary way back to health and
strength； just at the time when we were united again and happy
againwhen a month or two more might make us father and mother；
as well as husband and wifethat frightful record of suffering
and sin had risen against us like an avenging spirit。 There it
faced me on the table； threatening my husband's tranqu illity；
nay； for all I knew （if he read it at the present critical stage
of his recovery） even threatening his life！
The hour struck from the clock on the mantelpiece。 It was
Eustace's time for paying me his morning visit in my own little
room。 He might come in at any moment； he might see the letter； he
might snatch the letter out of my hand。 In a frenzy of terror and
loathing； I caught up the vile sheets of paper and threw them
into the fire。
It was a fortunate thing that a copy only had been sent to me。 If
the original letter had been in its place； I believe I should
have burned the original at that moment。
The last morsel of paper had been barely consumed by the flames
when the door opened； and Eustace came in。
He glanced at the fire。 The black cinders of the burned paper
were still floating at the back of the grate。 He had seen the
letter brought to me at the breakfast…table。 Did he suspect what
I had done？ He said nothinghe stood gravely looking into the
fire。 Then he advanced and fixed his eyes on me。 I suppose I was
very pale。 The first words he spoke were words which asked me if
I felt ill。
I was determined not to deceive him； even in the merest trifle。
〃I am feeling a little nervous； Eustace；〃 I answered； 〃that is
all。〃
He looked at me again； as if he expected me to say something
more。 I remained silent。 He took a letter out of the
breast…pocket of his coat and laid it on the table before
mejust where the Confession had lain before I destroyed it！
〃I have had a letter too this morning；〃 he said。 〃And _I；_
Valeria； have no secrets from _you。_〃
I understood the reproach which my husband's last words conveyed；
but I made no attempt to answer him。
〃Do you wish me to read it？〃 was all I said pointing to the
envelope which he had laid on the table。
〃I have already said that I have no secrets from you；〃 he
repeated。 〃The envelope is open。 See for yourself what is
inclosed in it。〃
I took outnot a letter； but a printed paragraph； cut from a
Scotch newspaper。
〃Read it；〃 said Eustace。
I read as follows：
〃STRANGE DOINGS AT GLENINCHA romance in real life seems to be
in course of pr