north america-2-第103章

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ets　would　be　hard　and　crisp　and　the　stranger　would　surely　fall　if　he　were　not　prepared　to　walk　on　glaciers。　　In　the　afternoon　he　would　be　wading　through　rivers；　and；　if　properly　armed　at　all　points　with　India…rubber；　would　enjoy　the　rivers　as　he　waded。　　But　the　air　would　be　always　kindly；　and　the　east　wind　there；　if　it　was　east　as　I　was　told；　had　none　of　that　power　of　dominion　which　makes　us　all　so　submissive　to　its　behests　in　London。　　For　myself；　I　do　not　believe　that　the　real　east　wind　blows　elsewhere。　And　when　the　snow　went　in　Boston　I　went　with　it。　　The　evening　before　I　left　I　watched　them　as　they　carted　away　the　dirty　uncouth　blocks　which　had　been　broken　up　with　pickaxes　in　Washington　Street；　and　was　melancholy　as　I　reflected　that　I　too　should　no　longer　be　known　in　the　streets。　　My　weeks　in　Boston　had　not　been　very　many；　but　nevertheless　there　were　haunts　there　which　I　knew　as　though　my　feet　had　trodden　them　for　years。　　There　were　houses　to　which　I　could　have　gone　with　my　eyes　blindfold；　doors　of　which　the　latches　were　familiar　to　my　hands；　faces　which　I　knew　so　well　that　they　had　ceased　to　put　on　for　me　the　fictitious　smiles　of　courtesy。　　Faces；　houses；　doors；　and　haunts；where　are　they　now？　　For　me　they　are　as　though　they　had　never　been。　　They　are　among　the　things　which　one　would　fain　remember　as　one　remembers　a　dream。　　Look　back　on　it　as　a　vision　and　it　is　all　pleasant；　but　if　you　realize　your　vision　and　believe　your　dream　to　be　a　fact；　all　your　pleasure　is　obliterated　by　regret。　I　know　that　I　shall　never　again　be　at　Boston；　and　that　I　have　said　that　about　the　Americans　which　would　make　me　unwelcome　as　a　guest　if　I　were　there。　　It　is　in　this　that　my　regret　consists；　for　this　reason　that　I　would　wish　to　remember　so　many　social　hours　as　though　they　had　been　passed　in　sleep。　　They　who　will　expect　blessings　from　me；　will　say　among　themselves　that　I　have　cursed　them。　　As　I　read　the　pages　which　I　have　written；　I　feel　that　words　which　I　intended　for　blessings　when　I　prepared　to　utter　them　have　gone　nigh　to　turn　themselves　into　curses。　I　have　ever　admired　the　United　States　as　a　nation。　　I　have　loved　their　liberty；　their　prowess；　their　intelligence；　and　their　progress。　　I　have　sympathized　with　a　people　who　themselves　have　had　no　sympathy　with　passive　security　and　inaction。　　I　have　felt　confidence　in　them；　and　have　known；　as　it　were；　that　their　industry　must　enable　them　to　succeed　as　a　people　while　their　freedom　would　insure　to　them　success　as　a　nation。　　With　these　convictions　I　went　among　them　wishing　to　write　of　them　good　wordswords　which　might　be　pleasant　for　them　to　read；　while　they　might　assist　perhaps　in　producing　a　true　impression　of　them　here　at　home。　　But　among　my　good　words　there　are　so　many　which　are　bitter；　that　I　fear　I　shall　have　failed　in　my　object　as　regards　them。　　And　it　seems　to　me；　as　I　read　once　more　my　own　pages；　that　in　saying　evil　things　of　my　friends　I　have　used　language　stronger　than　I　intended；　whereas　I　have　omitted　to　express　myself　with　emphasis　when　I　have　attempted　to　say　good　things。　　Why　need　I　have　told　of　the　mud　of　Washington；　or　have　exposed　the　nakedness　of　Cairo？　　Why　did　I　speak　with　such　eager　enmity　of　those　poor　women　in　the　New　York　cars；　who　never　injured　me；　now　that　I　think　of　it？　　Ladies　of　New　York；　as　I　write　this；　the　words　which　were　written　among　you　are　printed　and　cannot　be　expunged；　but　I　tender　to　you　my　apologies　from　my　home　in　England。　And　that　Van　Wyck　Committeemight　I　not　have　left　those　contractors　to　be　dealt　with　by　their　own　Congress；　seeing　that　that　Congress　committee　was　by　no　means　inclined　to　spare　them？　　I　might　have　kept　my　pages　free　from　gall；　and　have　sent　my　sheets　to　the　press　unhurt　by　the　conviction　that　I　was　hurting　those　who　had　dealt　kindly　by　me！　　But　what　then？　　Was　any　people　ever　truly　served　by　eulogy；　or　an　honest　cause　furthered　by　undue　praise？　O　my　friends　with　thin　skinsand　here　I　protest　that　a　thick　skin　is　a　fault　not　to　be　forgiven　in　a　man　or　a　nation；　whereas　a　thin　skin　is　in　itself　a　merit；　if　only　the　wearer　of　it　will　be　the　master　and　not　the　slave　of　his　skinO　my　friends　with　thin　skins；　ye　whom　I　call　my　cousins　and　love　as　brethren；　will　ye　not　forgive　me　these　harsh　words　that　I　have　spoken？　　They　have　been　spoken　in　lovewith　a　true　love；　a　brotherly　love；　a　love　that　has　never　been　absent　from　the　heart　while　the　brain　was　coining　them。　　I　had　my　task　to　do；　and　I　could　not　take　the　pleasant　and　ignore　the　painful。　　It　may　perhaps　be　that　as　a　friend　I　had　better　not　have　written　either　good　or　bad。　　But　no！　　To　say　that　would　indeed　be　to　speak　calumny　of　your　country。　　A　man　may　write　of　you　truly；　and　yet　write　that　which　you　would　read　with　pleasure；　only　that　your　skins　are　so　thin。　　The　streets　of　Washington　are　muddy　and　her　ways　are　desolate。　　The　nakedness　of　Cairo　is　very　naked。　　And　those　ladies　of　New　Yorkis　it　not　to　be　confessed　that　they　are　somewhat　imperious　in　their　demands？　　As　for　the　Van　Wyck　Committee；　have　I　not　repeated　the　tale　which　you　have　told　yourselves？　　And　is　it　not　well　that　such　tales　should　be　told？　And　yet　ye　will　not　forgive　me；　because　your　skins　are　thin；　and　because　the　praise　of　others　is　the　breath　of　your　nostrils。　I　do　not　know　that　an　American　as　an　individual　is　more　thin　skinned　than　an　Englishman；　but　as　the　representative　of　a　nation　it　may　almost　be　said　of　him　that　he　has　no　skin　at　all。　　Any　touch　comes　at　once　upon　the　net…work　of　his　nerves　and　puts　in　operation　all　his　organs　of　feeling　with　the　violence　of　a　blow。　　And　for　this　peculiarity　he　has　been　made　the　mark　of　much　ridicule。　　It　shows　itself　in　two　ways：　either　by　extreme　displeasure　when　anything　is　said　disrespectful　of　his　country；　or　by　the　strong　eulogy　with　which　he　is　accustomed　to　speak　of　his　own　institutions　and　of　those　of　his　countrymen　whom　at　the　moment　he　may　chance　to　hold　in　high　esteem。　　The　manner　in　which　this　is　done　is　often　ridiculous。　〃Sir；　what　do　you　think　of　Mr。　Jefferson　Brick？　　Mr。　Jefferson　Brick；　sir；　is　one　of　our　most　remarkable　men。〃　　And　again：　〃Do　you　like　our　institutions；　sir？　　Do　you　find　that　philanthropy；　religion；　philosophy　and　the　social　virtues　are　cultivated　on　a　scale　commensurate　with　the　unequaled　liberty　and　political　advancement　of　the　nation？〃　　There　is　something　absurd　in　such　a　mode　of　address　when　it　is　repeated　often。　　But　hero　worship　and　love　of　country　are　not　absurd；　and　do　not　these　addresses　show　capacity　for　hero　worship　and　an　aptitude　for　the　love　of　country？　Jefferson　Brick　may　not　be　a　hero；　but　a　capacity　for　such　worship　is　something。　　Indeed　the　capacity　is　everything；　for　the　need　of　a　hero　will　produce　a　hero。　　And　it　is　the　same　with　that　love　of　country。　　A　people　that　are　proud　of　their　country　will　see　that　there　is　something　in　their　country　to　justify　their　pride。　　Do　we　not　all　of　us　feel　assured　by　the　intense　nationality　of　an　American　that　he　will　not　desert　his　nation　in　the　hour　of　her　need？　　I　feel　that　assurance　respecting　them；　and　at　those　moments　in　which　I　am　moved　to　laughter　by　the　absurdities　of　their　addresses　to　me　I　feel　it　the　strongest。　I　left　Boston　with　the　snow；　and　returning　to　New　York　found　that　the　streets　th