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of these inns is starred by Baedeker； and this fact adds the last touch of
enchantment to the picture。
The landlady at the 〃Strong i' the Arm〃 stabbed me in the heart by
telling me that there were no apartments to let in the village； and that she
had no private sitting…room in the inn； but she speedily healed the wound
by saying that I might be accommodated at one of the farm…houses in the
vicinity。 Did I object to a farm…'ouse？ Then she could cheerfully
recommend the Evan's farm； only 'alf a mile away。 She 'ad understood
from Miss Phoebe Evan； who sold her poultry； that they would take one
lady lodger if she didn't wish much waiting upon。
In my present mood I was in search of the strenuous life； and eager to
wait； rather than to be waited upon； so I walked along the edge of the
Green； wishing that some mentally unbalanced householder would take a
sudden fancy to me and ask me to come in and lodge awhile。 I suppose
these families live under their roofs of peach… blow tiles； in the midst of
their blooming gardens； for a guinea a week or thereabouts； yet if they
〃undertook〃 me （to use their own phrase）； the bill for my humble meals
and bed would be at least double that。 I don't know that I blame them；
one should have proper compensation for admitting a world…stained lodger
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into such an Eden。
When I was searching for rooms a week ago； I chanced upon a pretty
cottage where the woman had sometimes let apartments。 She showed me
the premises and asked me if I would mind taking my meals in her own
dining…room； where I could be served privately at certain hours： and；
since she had but the one sitting…room； would I allow her to go on using it
occasionally？ also； if I had no special preference； would I take the second…
sized bedroom and leave her in possession of the largest one； which
permitted her to have the baby's crib by her bedside？ She thought I
should be quite as comfortable； and it was her opinion that in making
arrangements with lodgers； it was a good plan not to 〃bryke up the 'ome
any more than was necessary。〃
〃Bryke up the 'ome！〃 That is seemingly the malignant purpose with
which I entered Barbury Green。
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CHAPTER II
July 4th。
Enter the family of Thornycroft Farm； of which I am already a
member in good and regular standing。
I introduce Mrs。 Heaven first； for she is a self…saturated person who
would never forgive the insult should she receive any lower place。
She welcomed me with the statement： 〃We do not take lodgers here；
nor boarders； no lodgers； nor boarders； but we do occasionally admit
paying guests； those who look as if they would appreciate the quietude of
the plyce and be willing as you might say to remunerate according。〃
I did not mind at this particular juncture what I was called； so long as
the epithet was comparatively unobjectionable； so I am a paying guest；
therefore； and I expect to pay handsomely for the handsome appellation。
Mrs。 Heaven is short and fat； she fills her dress as a pin…cushion fills its
cover； she wears a cap and apron； and she is so full of platitudes that she
would have burst had I not appeared as a providential outlet for them。
Her accent is not of the farm； but of the town； and smacks wholly of the
marts of trade。 She is repetitious； too； as well as platitudinous。 〃I 'ope
if there's anythink you require you will let us know； let us know；〃 she says
several times each day； and whenever she enters my sitting…room she
prefaces her conversation with the remark： 〃I trust you are finding it
quiet here； miss？ It's the quietude of the plyce that is its charm； yes； the
quietude。 And yet〃 （she dribbles on） 〃it wears on a body after a while；
miss。 I often go into Woodmucket to visit one of my sons just for the
noise； simply for the noise； miss； for nothink else in the world but the
noise。 There's nothink like noise for soothing nerves that is worn
threadbare with the quietude； miss； or at least that's my experience； and
yet to a strynger the quietude of the plyce is its charm； undoubtedly its
chief charm； and that is what our paying guests always say； although our
charges are somewhat higher than other plyces。 If there's anythink you
require； miss； I 'ope you'll mention it。 There is not a commodious
assortment in Barbury Green； but we can always send the pony to
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Woodmucket in case of urgency。 Our paying guest last summer was a Mrs。
Pollock； and she was by way of having sudden fancies。 Young and
unmarried though you are； miss； I think you will tyke my meaning without
my speaking plyner？ Well； at six o'clock of a rainy afternoon； she was
seized with an unaccountable desire for vegetable marrows； and Mr。
'Eaven put the pony in the cart and went to Woodmucket for them； which
is a great advantage to be so near a town and yet 'ave the quietude。〃
Mr。 Heaven is merged； like Mr。 Jellyby； in the more shining qualities
of his wife。 A line of description is too long for him。 Indeed； I can think
of no single word brief enough； at least in English。 The Latin 〃nil〃 will
do； since no language is rich in words of less than three letters。 He is
nice； kind； bald； timid； thin； and so colourless that he can scarcely be
discerned save in a strong light。 When Mrs。 Heaven goes out into the
orchard in search of him； I can hardly help calling from my window； 〃Bear
a trifle to the right； Mrs。 Heavennow to the leftjust in front of you now…
… if you put out your hands you will touch him。〃
Phoebe； aged seventeen； is the daughter of the house。 She is virtuous；
industrious； conscientious； and singularly des