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Masturbation is cheap； clean； convenient； and free of any possibility of wrongdoing…and you don't have to go home in the cold。 But it's lonely。
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Beware of altruism。 It is based on self…deception； the root of all eviL
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If tempted by something that feels 〃altruistic；〃 examine your motives and root out that self…deception。 Then； if you still want to do it； wallow in it！
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The most preposterous notion that H。 sapiens has ever dreamed up is that the Lord God of Creation； Shaper and Ruler of all the Universes； wants the saccharine adoration of His creatures； can be swayed by their prayers； and bees petulant if He does not receive this flattery。 Yet this absurd fantasy； without a shred of evidence to bolster it； pays all the expenses of the oldest； largest； and least productive industry in all history。
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The second most preposterous notion is that copulation is inherently sinful。
Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of…but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards。
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100 placed at 7 percent interest pounded quarterly for 200 years will increase to more than 100；000；000…by … which time it will be worth nothing。
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Dear； don't bore him with trivia or burden him with your past mistakes。 The happiest way to deal with a man is never to tell him anything he does not need to know。
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Darling； a true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best。 At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires。
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Everybody lies about sex。
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If men were the automatons that behaviorists claim they are； the behaviorist psychologists could not have invented the amazing nonsense called 〃behaviorist psychology。〃 So they are wrong from scratch…as clever and as wrong as phlogiston chemists。
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The shamans are forever yacking about their snake…oil 〃miracles。〃 I prefer the Real McCoy…a pregnant Woman。
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If the universe has any purpose more important than topping a woman you love and making a baby with her hearty help； I've never heard of it。
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Thou shalt remember the Eleventh mandment and keep it Wholly。
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A touchstone to determine the actual worth of an 〃intellectual〃…find out how he feels about astrology。
Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed。
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There is no such thing as 〃social gambling。〃 Either you are there to cut the other bloke's heart out and eat it…or you're a sucker。 If you don't like this choice…don't gamble。
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When the ship lifts； all bills are paid。 No regrets。
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The first time I was a drill instructor I was too inexperienced for the job…the things I taught those lads must have got some of them killed。 War is too s鐁ious a matter to be taught by the inexperienced。
第33节
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A petent and self…confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything。 Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity。
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Money is the sincerest of all flattery。
Women love to be flattered。
So do men。
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You live and learn。 Or you don't live long。
Whenever women have insisted on absolute equality with men； they have invariably wound up with the dirty end of the stick。 What they are and what they can do makes them superior to men； and their proper tactic is to demand special privileges； all the traffic will bear。 They should never settle merely for equality。 For women； 〃equality〃 is a disaster。
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Peace is an extension of War by political means。 Plenty of elbowroom is pleasanter…and much safer。
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One man's 〃magic〃 is another man's engineering。 〃Supernatural〃 is a null word。
The phrase 〃we （I） （you） simply must…〃 designates something that need not be done。 〃That goes without saying〃 is a red warning。 〃Of course〃 means you had best check it yourself。 These small…change clich閟 and others like them； when read correctly； are reliable channel markers。
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Do not handicap your children by making their lives easy。
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Rub her feet。
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If you happen to be one of the fretful minority who can do creative work； never force an idea； you'll abort it if you do。 Be patient and you'll give birth to it when the time is ripe。 Learn to wait。
Never crowd youngsters about their private affairs…sex especially。 When they are growing up； they are nerve ends all over； and resent （quite properly） any invasion of their privacy。 Oh； sure； they'll make mistakes…but that's their business； not yours。 （You made your own mistakes； did you not？）
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Never underestimate the power of human stupidity。
VARIATIONS ON A THEME
XI
The Tale of the Adopted Daughter
Stand with me on Man's old pla； gazing north when sky has darkened； follow down the Dipper's handle； half again and veering leftward。 Do you see it？ Can you sense it？ Nothing there but cold and darkness。 Try again with both eyes covered； try once more with inner vision； hearken now to wild geese honking； sounding through the endless spaces； bouncing off the strange equations。 There it glistens！ Hold the vision； warp your ship through crumpled spaces。 Gently； gently； do not lose it。 Virgin pla； new beginnings… Woodrow Smith； of many faces； many names； and many places； led this band to New Beginnings； pla clean and bright as morning。 End of line； he told his shipmates。 Endless miles of untouched prairie； endless stands of uncut timber； winding rivers； soaring mountains； hidden wealth and hidden dangers。 Here is life or here is dying； only sin is lack of trying。Grab your pickles and。grab your shovels； dig latrines and build your hovels…next year better； next year stronger； next year's furrows that much longer。 Learn to grow it； learn to eat it。 You can't buy it； learn to make it！ How d'you know until you've tried it？ Try again and keep on trying。
Ernest Gibbons； n？Woodrow Smith； sometimes known as Lazarus Long； et al。； President of New Beginnings Bank of merce； walked out of the Waldorf Dining Room。 He stood on the veranda； picking his teeth and looking over the busy street scene。 Half a dozen saddle mules and a loper （muzzled） were hitched just below him。 Up the street to the right a mule train from out back was unpacking at the dock of the Top Dollar Trading Post （E。 Gibbons； Prop。）。 A dog lay in the dust in the middle of the street； mounted traffic went around him。 Across the street to his left a dozen children played some noisy game in the yard of Mrs。 Mayberry's Primary School。
He could count thirty…seven people without moving from that spot。 What a change eighteen years made！ Top Dollar was no longer the only settlement； or even the largest。 New Pittsburgh was larger （and dirtier）； and both Separation and Junction were large enough to be called towns。 This from only two shi