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e back！〃
Her voice had been steady up to the last。 Then it broke； and he realized that she was crying。 He started to remove his hand and to pull over to the side of the road。 Mrs。 Smith grabbed his hand； pushed it more firmly back between her thighs； and said； 〃No； no； do touch me and don't stop the car！ Or I might rape you。 I don't know why it makes me so pas
… sonate when I let myself remember that Brian might not e back froj~i； the war。 But … it does。 Fve been that way ever since the day we declared war。 。 and always… have to look serene and calm and unworried。 For the children。 Fo？ Brian。 I haven't Jet Brian see me cry； Theodore。 You have just…now… I suddenly could not help it。 But I would rather you told。 Brian that I tried to seduce you than have …you tell him that。i cried through fear that he might not e back！ … …
〃Mid now I'll stop it。〃 Mrs。 Smith took a kerchief from her purse； wiped her eyes； blew her nose。 〃Don't take me home yet； the children must not see me with my eyes red。〃 …~
Lazarus decided to break cover。 〃I love you； Maureen。〃
〃I love you； Theodore。 In spite of my tears； you have made me happy。 By letting me unburden myself…and I should not have； you are going to war； too。 I feel almost married to you now； by telling you things I haven't been able to talk about with anyone else。 If you had put me on the grass and had me
…it would have been sweet and just what I planned。 But this is even closer。 And sweeter。 A woman can open her body to a man without opening her mind。 I had two babies by Brian
第78节
… before I learned to open my mind to him the way I have to you tonight。〃
〃Perhaps our minds are much alike； Maureen。 Your father thinks we are cousins。〃 …
〃No； he doesn't； darling； he thinks you're my half brother。〃
〃Did he say that？〃
〃And I think so； too。 By things Father did not say； dea…r Theodore。 By how broken up he was when he misunderstood you about your intention to enlist。 By the way he insisted that we must claim a service star for you。 I feel sure he is right
and I want to believe it。 Yes； that makes what I tried to do to you dreadfully sinful in some people's eyes。 Incest。 I did not care a whit。 Since I'm pregnant； it could not possibly cause harm to a baby 。 。 and that's the only thing that could make incest wrong。〃 …
（How to tell her？ How much to tell her？ But I must make her believe me。） 〃Your church would call it sinful。〃
〃I don't give a fig for the church！ Theodore； I'm not devout； I'm a freethinker； like Father。 Church is a good atmosphere for children…and gives me a proper appearance as a respectable wife and mother…that's all！ 'Sin' would not stop me； I don't believe in sin the way the church means it。 Sex isn't sin； sex is never sin。 What would stop me would be a chance of getting pregnant by someone other than Brian…but I am pregnant。 That you are my half brother didn't cause … me a woment's fret； it just made me more anxious to tell you a warrior's good…bye。〃
… 〃Maureen； I'm not your half brother。〃
〃Are you sure？ Even if you're not； you are still my warrior
…I was as proud as Father when you volunteered。〃
〃I'm your warrior； be sure of that。 But 1 need to know something。 This man Nancy may marry… Is he a Howard？'
〃What did you say？〃
〃Is he on the approved list of the Ira Howard Foundation？〃
He heard her catch her breath。 〃Where did you hear of the Foundation？' …
〃'Life is short…'〃… …
〃'But the years are long；' 〃 she answered。
'Not 〃While the Evil Days e Not。〃'〃
〃Goodness！ I… I think…I'm going to cry again！〃
〃Stop it。 What is the young man's name？〃
…〃Jonathan Weatheral。〃
〃…of the Weatheral…Sperling line。 Yes； I remember。 …Maureen； I am… not 'Ted Bronson。' I am Lazarus Long of the Johnson Family。 Your family。 I am descended from you。〃
For …several moments she seemed not to breathe。 Then she said softly； 〃I think I am losing my mind。〃 …
〃No； my gallant love； you have as strong and sane a mind as I have ever met。 Let me explain because I… must tell you
… something and you must believe me。 Have you read a novel by Mr。 Herbert George Wells called The… Time Machine？〃
〃Why； yes。 Father has a copy。〃
〃That's me； Maureen。 Captain Lazarus Long； Time Traveler。〃 …
〃But that book… I thought it was just a 。 。 a…〃 〃Just a story。 It is。 But it won't stay that way。 Oh； not quite
the way Mr。 Wells visualized it。 But that's what I am； a visitor from a future time。 I didn't intend to let anyone suspect this； that's why I claimed to be a foundling。 Not only is it hard to psove； but any attempt would interfere with my purpose
…which is simply to visit this time and observe it。 Might even
… get … me locked up as crazy。 So I've been careful to keep my mask … on； as… careful as…well； as you are； In talking to those
… Simpsons。 In not letting your children see you cry。 You and I do it the same way。 Audacity 。 。 plus never telling lies we can be caught in。〃
〃Theodore； I think you believe this。〃
〃Meaning that I sound sincere but must be crazy。〃 〃No； no； dear； I… Yes； that's what I meant。 I'm sorry；〃 〃No reason to be sorry； it does sound crazy。 But I'm not
afraid that you will have me sent to St。 Joe； I'm as safe… with you as you are with me。 But I must find some way to convince… you that I am telling the truth 。 。 because I am about
… to tell you something you must believe。 Or I have dropped~ mymask to no point。〃 …
He stopped to think。 How to prove it？ ome prediction？ It would have to be very short range to… serve the only purpose he had in breaking cover。 But he hadn't briefed himself on
this year； he hadn't intended to arrtve until 1919 and kneu so little about the years before 1919 that he had even mixel up the date that the United States got into … this war。 Lazarus damn your sloppy ways； the next time you make a time tril you're going to memorize everything about the era thai
… Athene can give you…and a wide margin on both sides！
Woodie's memories were no help； Lazarus did not ever recall having been taken to Electric Park by a sergeant ir uniform。 Self…centered brat！ Electric Park he remembered Woodie Smith had gone there many times。 But no visit stooc out in his mind。 …
〃Maureen； maybe you can think of some way I can provc to you that I'm from the future…something that will con vince you。 But this is why I had to tell you： Brian…your hus~ band； my ancestor…will e back unharmed。 He's going tc go through battles。 Shells will fall around him； shots wif whistle past his ears…but none will touch him。〃
Mrs。 Smi~gasped。 Then she said slowly； 〃Theodore h~doyouk~v1〃
〃Because you two are my ancestors。 I couldn't memorize the Foundation's records on all the Howards …of today but I did study the files on my own ancestors； ones I might have a chance to meet。 You。 Brian。 Brian's p