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his coat； sat like a stuffed creature； glancing at the crowd
occasionally； and then fixing his eyes beyond them again。 He
evidently； like every one else； felt that this was foolish； but he
could not say so。
The poverty and beggary in the Lyapinsky house had horrified me； and
I felt myself guilty of it； I felt the desire and the possibility of
improvement。 But now； precisely the same scene produced on me an
entirely different effect； I experienced； in the first place； a
malevolent feeling towards many of those who were besieging me； and
in the second place； uneasiness as to what the shopkeepers and
porters would think of me。
On my return home that day； I was troubled in my soul。 I felt that
what I had done was foolish and immoral。 But； as is always the
result of inward confusion； I talked a great deal about the plan
which I had undertaken； as though I entertained not the slightest
doubt of my success。
On the following day； I went to such of the people whom I had
inscribed on my list； as seemed to me the most wretched of all； and
those who； as it seemed to me； would be the easiest to help。 As I
have already said； I did not help any of these people。 It proved to
be more difficult to help them than I had thought。 And either
because I did not know how； or because it was impossible； I merely
imitated these people； and did not help any one。 I visited the
Rzhanoff house several times before the final tour； and on every
occasion the very same thing occurred： I was beset by a throng of
beggars in whose mass I was completely lost。 I felt the
impossibility of doing any thing； because there were too many of
them； and because I felt ill…disposed towards them because there were
so many of them； and in addition to this； each one separately did not
incline me in his favor。 I was conscious that every one of them was
telling me an untruth； or less than the whole truth； and that he saw
in me merely a purse from which money might be drawn。 And it very
frequently seemed to me； that the very money which they squeezed out
of me； rendered their condition worse instead of improving it。 The
oftener I went to that house； the more I entered into intercourse
with the people there； the more apparent became to me the
impossibility of doing any thing； but still I did not give up any
scheme until the last night tour。
The remembrance of that last tour is particularly mortifying to me。
On other occasions I had gone thither alone； but twenty of us went
there on this occasion。 At seven o'clock； all who wished to take
part in this final night round； began to assemble at my house。
Nearly all of them were strangers to me；students； one officer； and
two of my society acquaintances； who； uttering the usual； 〃C'est tres
interessant！〃 had asked me to include them in the number of the
census…takers。
My worldly acquaintances had dressed up especially for this； in some
sort of hunting…jacket； and tall； travelling boots； in a costume in
which they rode and went hunting； and which； in their opinion； was
appropriate for an excursion to a night…lodging…house。 They took
with them special note…books and remarkable pencils。 They were in
that peculiarly excited state of mind in which men set off on a hunt；
to a duel； or to the wars。 The most apparent thing about them was
their folly and the falseness of our position； but all the rest of us
were in the same false position。 Before we set out； we held a
consultation； after the fashion of a council of war； as to how we
should begin； how divide our party； and so on。
This consultation was exactly such as takes place in councils；
assemblages； committees； that is to say； each person spoke； not
because he had any thing to say or to ask； but because each one
cudgelled his brain for something that he could say； so that he might
not fall short of the rest。 But； among all these discussions； no one
alluded to that beneficence of which I had so often spoken to them
all。 Mortifying as this was to me； I felt that it was indispensable
that I should once more remind them of benevolence； that is； of the
point； that we were to observe and take notes of all those in
destitute circumstances whom we should encounter in the course of our
rounds。 I had always felt ashamed to speak of this； but now； in the
midst of all our excited preparations for our expedition； I could
hardly utter the words。 All listened to me； as it seemed to me； with
sorrow； and； at the same time； all agreed in words； but it was
evident that they all knew that it was folly； and that nothing would
come of it； and all immediately began again to talk about something
else。 This went on until the time arrived for us to set out； and we
started。
We reached the tavern； roused the waiters； and began to sort our
papers。 When we were informed that the people had heard about this
round； and were leaving their quarters； we asked the landlord to lock
the gates； and we went ourselves into the yard to reason with the
fleeing people； assuring them that no one would demand their tickets。
I remember the strange and painful impression produced on me by these
alarmed night…lodgers： ragged； half…dressed； they all seemed tall to
me by the light of the lantern and the gloom of the court…yard。
Frightened and terrifying in their alarm； they stood in a group
around the foul…smelling out…house； and listened to our assurances；
but they did not believe us； and were evidently prepared for any
thing； like hunted wild beasts； provided only that they could escape
from us。 Gentlemen in divers shapesas policemen； both city and
rural； and as examining judges； and judgeshunt them all their
lives； in town and country； on the highway and in the streets； and in
the taverns； and in night…lodging houses； and now； all of a sudden；
these gentlemen had come and locked the gates； merely in order to
count them： it was as difficult for them to believe this； as for
hares to believe that dogs have come； not to chase but to count them。
But the gates were locked； and the startled lodgers returned： and
we； breaking up into groups； entered also。 With me were the two
society men and two students。 In front of us； in the dark； went
Vanya； in his coat and white trousers； with a lantern； and we
followed。 We went to quarters with which I was familiar。 I knew all
the establishments； and some of the people； but the majority of the
people were new； and the spectacle was new； and more dreadful than
the one which I had witnessed in the Lyapinsky house。 All the
lodgings were full； all the bunks were occupied； not by one person
only； but often by two。 The sight was terrible in that narrow space
into which the people were huddled； and men and women were mixed
together。 All the women who were not dead drunk slept with men； and
women with two children did the same。 The sight was terrible； on
account of the poverty； dirt； rags； and terror of the people。 And it
was chiefly dreadful on account of the vast numbers of people who
were in this situation。 One lodging； and then a second like it； and
a third； and a tenth； and a twentieth； and still there was no end to
them。 And everywhere there was the same fo