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he could not have understood the object of these labors。 But it is
impossible not to see that if he had understood this； the influence
of my children's example on him would have been even stronger。 He
would then have comprehended that my children were being educated in
this manner； so that； while doing no work now； they might be in a
position hereafter； also profiting by their diplomas； to work as
little as possible； and to enjoy the pleasures of life to as great an
extent as possible。 He did understand this； and he would not go with
the peasant to tend cattle； and to eat potatoes and kvas with him；
but he went to the zoological garden in the costume of a savage； to
lead the elephant at thirty kopeks a day。
I might have understood how clumsy I was； when I was rearing my
children in the most utter idleness and luxury； to reform other
people and their children； who were perishing from idleness in what I
called the den of the Rzhanoff house； where； nevertheless； three…
fourths of the people toil for themselves and for others。 But I
understood nothing of this。
There were a great many children in the Rzhanoff house； who were in
the same pitiable plight； there were the children of dissolute women；
there were orphans； there were children who had been picked up in the
streets by beggars。 They were all very wretched。 But my experience
with Serozha showed me that I； living the life I did； was not in a
position to help them。
While Serozha was living with us； I noticed in myself an effort to
hide our life from him； in particular the life of our children。 I
felt that all my efforts to direct him towards a good； industrious
life； were counteracted by the examples of our lives and by that of
our children。 It is very easy to take a child away from a
disreputable woman； or from a beggar。 It is very easy； when one has
the money； to wash； clean and dress him in neat clothing； to support
him； and even to teach him various sciences； but it is not only
difficult for us； who do not earn our own bread； but quite the
reverse； to teach him to work for his bread； but it is impossible；
because we； by our example； and even by those material and valueless
improvements of his life； inculcate the contrary。 A puppy can be
taken； tended； fed； and taught to fetch and carry； and one may take
pleasure in him： but it is not enough to tend a man； to feed and
teach him Greek； we must teach the man how to live；that is； to take
as little as possible from others； and to give as much as possible；
and we cannot help teaching him to do the contrary； if we take him
into our houses； or into an institution founded for this purpose。
CHAPTER X。
This feeling of compassion for people； and of disgust with myself；
which I had experienced in the Lyapinsky house； I experienced no
longer。 I was completely absorbed in the desire to carry out the
scheme which I had concocted；to do good to those people whom I
should meet here。 And； strange to say； it would appear； that； to do
goodto give money to the needyis a very good deed； and one that
should dispose me to love for the people； but it turned out the
reverse： this act produced in me ill…will and an inclination to
condemn people。 But during our first evening tour； a scene occurred
exactly like that in the Lyapinsky house； and it called forth a
wholly different sentiment。
It began by my finding in one set of apartments an unfortunate
individual； of precisely the sort who require immediate aid。 I found
a hungry woman who had had nothing to eat for two days。
It came about thus： in one very large and almost empty night…
lodging； I asked an old woman whether there were many poor people who
had nothing to eat？ The old woman reflected； and then told me of
two； and then； as though she had just recollected； 〃Why； here is one
of them；〃 said she； glancing at one of the occupied bunks。 〃I think
that woman has had no food。〃
〃Really？ Who is she？〃
〃She was a dissolute woman： no one wants any thing to do with her
now； so she has no way of getting any thing。 The landlady has had
compassion on her； but now she means to turn her out 。 。 。 Agafya；
hey there； Agafya！〃 cried the woman。
We approached； and something rose up in the bunk。 It was a woman
haggard and dishevelled； whose hair was half gray； and who was as
thin as a skeleton； dressed in a ragged and dirty chemise； and with
particularly brilliant and staring eyes。 She looked past us with her
staring eyes； clutched at her jacket with one thin hand； in order to
cover her bony breast which was disclosed by her tattered chemise；
and oppressed； she cried； 〃What is it？ what is it？〃 I asked her
about her means of livelihood。 For a long time she did not
understand； and said； 〃I don't know myself； they persecute me。〃 I
asked her；it puts me to shame； my hand refuses to write it；I
asked her whether it was true that she had nothing to eat？ She
answered in the same hurried； feverish tone； staring at me the
while；〃No； I had nothing yesterday； and I have had nothing to…day。〃
The sight of this woman touched me； but not at all as had been the
case in the Lyapinsky house； there； my pity for these people made me
instantly feel ashamed of myself： but here； I rejoiced because I had
at last found what I had been seeking；a hungry person。
I gave her a ruble； and I recollect being very glad that others saw
it。 The old woman； on seeing this； immediately begged money of me
also。 It afforded me such pleasure to give； that； without finding
out whether it was necessary to give or not； I gave something to the
old woman too。 The old woman accompanied me to the door； and the
people standing in the corridor heard her blessing me。 Probably the
questions which I had put with regard to poverty； had aroused
expectation； and several persons followed us。 In the corridor also；
they began to ask me for money。 Among those who begged were some
drunken men； who aroused an unpleasant feeling in me； but； having
once given to the old woman； I had no might to refuse these people；
and I began to give。 As long as I continued to give； people kept
coming up； and excitement ran through all the lodgings。 People made
them appearance on the stairs and galleries； and followed me。 As I
emerged into the court…yard； a little boy ran swiftly down one of the
staircases thrusting the people aside。 He did not see me； and
exclaimed hastily： 〃He gave Agashka a ruble！〃 When he reached the
ground； the boy joined the crowd which was following me。 I went out
into the street： various descriptions of people followed me； and
asked for money。 I distributed all my small change； and entered an
open shop with the request that the shopkeeper would change a ten…
ruble bill for me。 And then the same thing happened as at the
Lyapinsky house。 A terrible confusion ensued。 Old women； noblemen；
peasants； and children crowded into the shop with outstretched hands；
I gave； and interrogated some of them as to their lives； and took
notes。 The shopkeeper； turning up the furred points of the collar of
his coat； sat like a stuffed creature； glancing at the crowd
occasionally； and then fixing his eyes beyond t