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call to its mate to build on barren boughs； so there were Christians
before Christ。 For that we should be grateful。 The unfortunate
thing is that there have been none since。 I make one exception； St。
Francis of Assisi。 But then God had given him at his birth the soul
of a poet； as he himself when quite young had in mystical marriage
taken poverty as his bride： and with the soul of a poet and the
body of a beggar he found the way to perfection not difficult。 He
understood Christ； and so he became like him。 We do not require the
Liber Conformitatum to teach us that the life of St。 Francis was the
true Imitatio Christi； a poem compared to which the book of that
name is merely prose。
Indeed； that is the charm about Christ； when all is said： he is
just like a work of art。 He does not really teach one anything； but
by being brought into his presence one becomes something。 And
everybody is predestined to his presence。 Once at least in his life
each man walks with Christ to Emmaus。De Profundis
CLAPHAM JUNCTION
My lot has been one of public infamy； of long imprisonment； of
misery； of ruin； of disgrace； but I am not worthy of itnot yet； at
any rate。 I remember that I used to say that I thought I could bear
a real tragedy if it came to me with purple pall and a mask of noble
sorrow； but that the dreadful thing about modernity was that it put
tragedy into the raiment of comedy； so that the great realities
seemed commonplace or grotesque or lacking in style。 It is quite
true about modernity。 It has probably always been true about actual
life。 It is said that all martyrdoms seemed mean to the looker on。
The nineteenth century is no exception to the rule。
Everything about my tragedy has been hideous； mean； repellent；
lacking in style； our very dress makes us grotesque。 We are the
zanies of sorrow。 We are clowns whose hearts are broken。 We are
specially designed to appeal to the sense of humour。 On November
13th； 1895； I was brought down here from London。 From two o'clock
till half…past two on that day I had to stand on the centre platform
of Clapham Junction in convict dress； and handcuffed； for the world
to look at。 I had been taken out of the hospital ward without a
moment's notice being given to me。 Of all possible objects I was
the most grotesque。 When people saw me they laughed。 Each train as
it came up swelled the audience。 Nothing could exceed their
amusement。 That was； of course； before they knew who I was。 As
soon as they had been informed they laughed still more。 For half an
hour I stood there in the grey November rain surrounded by a jeering
mob。De Profundis
THE BROKEN RESOLUTION
We call ours a utilitarian age； and we do not know the uses of any
single thing。 We have forgotten that water can cleanse； and fire
purify； and that the Earth is mother to us all。 As a consequence
our art is of the moon and plays with shadows； while Greek art is of
the sun and deals directly with things。 I feel sure that in
elemental forces there is purification； and I want to go back to
them and live in their presence。
Of course to one so modern as I am； 'Enfant de mon siecle；' merely
to look at the world will be always lovely。 I tremble with pleasure
when I think that on the very day of my leaving prison both the
laburnum and the lilac will be blooming in the gardens； and that I
shall see the wind stir into restless beauty the swaying gold of the
one； and make the other toss the pale purple of its plumes； so that
all the air shall be Arabia for me。 Linnaeus fell on his knees and
wept for joy when he saw for the first time the long heath of some
English upland made yellow with the tawny aromatic brooms of the
common furze； and I know that for me； to whom flowers are part of
desire； there are tears waiting in the petals of some rose。 It has
always been so with me from my boyhood。 There is not a single
colour hidden away in the chalice of a flower； or the curve of a
shell； to which； by some subtle sympathy with the very soul of
things； my nature does not answer。 Like Gautier； I have always been
one of those 'pour qui le monde visible existe。'
Still； I am conscious now that behind all this beauty； satisfying
though it may be； there is some spirit hidden of which the painted
forms and shapes are but modes of manifestation； and it is with this
spirit that I desire to become in harmony。 I have grown tired of
the articulate utterances of men and things。 The Mystical in Art；
the Mystical in Life； the Mystical in Nature this is what I am
looking for。 It is absolutely necessary for me to find it
somewhere。
All trials are trials for one's life； just as all sentences are
sentences of death； and three times have I been tried。 The first
time I left the box to be arrested； the second time to be led back
to the house of detention； the third time to pass into a prison for
two years。 Society； as we have constituted it； will have no place
for me； has none to offer； but Nature； whose sweet rains fall on
unjust and just alike； will have clefts in the rocks where I may
hide； and secret valleys in whose silence I may weep undisturbed。
She will hang the night with stars so that I may walk abroad in the
darkness without stumbling； and send the wind over my footprints so
that none may track me to my hurt： she will cleanse me in great
waters； and with bitter herbs make me whole。De Profundis
DOMESTICITY AT BERNEVAL
DIEPPE；
June 1st； 1897。
My Dear Robbie；I propose to live at Berneval。 I will NOT live in
Paris； nor in Algiers； nor in Southern Italy。 Surely a house for a
year； if I choose to continue there； at 32 pounds is absurdly cheap。
I could not live cheaper at a hotel。 You are penny foolish； and
pound foolisha dreadful state for my financier to be in。 I told
M。 Bonnet that my bankers were MM。 Ross et Cie； banquiers celebres
de Londresand now you suddenly show me that you have no place
among the great financial people； and are afraid of any investment
over 31 pounds； 10s。 It is merely the extra ten shillings that
baffles you。 As regards people living on me； and the extra
bedrooms： dear boy； there is no one who would stay with me but you；
and you will pay your own bill at the hotel for meals； and as for
your room； the charge will be nominally 2 francs 50 centimes a
night； but there will be lots of extras such as bougie； bain and hot
water； and all cigarettes smoked in the bedrooms are charged extra。
And if any one does not take the extras； of course he is charged
more：…
Bain； 25 C。
Pas de bain； 50 C。
Cigarette dans la chambre e coucher； 10 C。 pour chaque cigarette。
Pas de cigarette dans la chambre e coucher； 20 C。 pour chaque
cigarette。
This is the system at all good hotels。 If Reggie comes； of course
he will pay a little more： I cannot forget that he gave me a
dressing…case。 Sphinxes pay