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〃You haf no boetry；〃 said Lutz。 True； it is
yedt cold； und in der city we haf not many of der
signs； but dere are dree kinds of beoble dot should
always feel der'approach of spring first dey are
boets； lovers and poor vidows。〃
Mr。 McQuirk went on his way； still possessed by
the strange perturbation that he did not understand。
Something was lacking to his comfort； and it made
him half angry because be did not know what it was。
Two blocks away he came upon a foe； one Conover；
whom he was bound in honor to engage in combat。
Mr。 McQuirk made the attack with the charac…
teristic suddenness and fierceness that had gained for
him the endearing sobriquet of 〃Tiger。〃 The de…
fence of Mr。 Conover was so prompt and admirable
that the conflict was protracted until the onlookers un…
selfishly gave the warning cry of 〃Cheese it the
cop！〃 The principals escaped easily by running
through the nearest open doors into the communi…
cating backyards at the rear of the houses。
Mr。 McQuirk emerged into another street。 He
stood by a lamp…post for a few minutes engaged in
thought and then he turned and plunged into a small
notion and news shop。 A red…haired young woman；
eating gum…drops； came and looked freezingly at him
across the ice…bound steppes of the counter。
〃Say； lady；〃 he said； 〃have you got a song book
with this in it。 Let's see bow it leads off
〃When the springtime comes well wander in the dale； love；
And whisper of those days of yore 〃
〃I'm having a friend；〃 explained Mr。 McQuirk；
〃laid up with a broken leg； and he sent me after
it。 He's a devil for songs and poetry when he can't
get out to drink。〃
〃We have not；〃 replied the young woman； with un…
concealed contempt。 〃But there is a new song out
that begins this way：
〃'Let us sit together in the old armchair；
And while the firelight flickers we'll be comfortable there。'〃
There will be no profit in following Mr。 〃Tiger〃
McQuirk through his further vagaries of that day
until he comes to stand knocking at the door of Annie
Maria Doyle。 The goddess Eastre； it seems； had
guided his footsteps aright at last。
〃Is that you now； Jimmy McQuirk？〃 she cried；
smiling through the opened door （Annie Maria had
never accepted the 〃Tiger〃）。 〃Well； whatever！〃
〃Come out in the ball；〃 said Mr。 McQuirk。 〃I
want to ask yer opinion of the weather … on the
level。〃
〃Are you crazy； sure？〃 said Annie Maria。
〃I am；〃 said the 〃Tiger。〃 〃They've been telling
me all day there was spring in the air。 Were they
liars？ Or am I？〃
〃Dear me！〃 said Annie Maria 〃haven't you no…
ticed it？ I can almost smell the violets。 And the
green grass。 Of course； there ain't any yet it's
just a kind of feeling； you know。〃
〃That's what I'm getting at；〃 said Mr。 McQuirk。
I've had it。 I didn't recognize it at first。 I
thought maybe it was en…wee； contracted the other
day when I stepped above Fourteenth Street。 But
the katzenjammer I've got don't spell violets。 It
spells yer own name； Annie Maria； and it's you I
want。 I go to work next Monday； and I make four
dollars a day。 Spiel up； old girl do we make a
team？〃
〃Jimmy；〃 sighed Annie Maria； suddenly disap…
pearing in his overcoat； 〃don't you see that spring
is all over the world right this minute？〃
But you yourself remember how that day ended。
Beginning with so fine a promise of vernal things；
late in the afternoon the air chilled and an inch of
snow fell even so late in March。 On Fifth Ave…
nue the ladies drew their winter furs close about
them。 Only in the florists' windows could be per…
ceived any signs of the morning smile of the coming
goddess Eastre。
At six o'clock Herr Lutz began to close his shop。
He beard a well…known shout： 〃Hello； Dutch！〃
〃Tiger〃 McQuirk； in his shirt…sleeves； with his
hat on the back of his bead； stood outside in the
whirling snow； puffing at a black cigar。
〃Donnerwetter！〃 shouted Lutz； 〃der vinter； he
has gome back again yet！〃
〃Yer a liar； Dutch；〃 called back Mr。 McQuirk；
with friendly geniality； it's springtime； by the
watch。〃
THE FOOL…KILLER
Down South whenever any one perpetrates some
particularly monumental piece of foolishness every…
body says： 〃Send for Jesse Holmes。〃
Jesse Holmes is the Fool…Killer。 Of course he is a
myth； like Santa Claus and Jack Frost and General
Prosperity and all those concrete conceptions that
are supposed to represent an idea that Nature has
failed to embody。 The wisest of the Southrons can…
not tell you whence comes the Fool…Killer's name；
but few and happy are the households from the Ro…
anoke to the Rio Grande in which the name of Jesse
Holmes has not been pronounced or invoked。 Always
with a smile； and often with a tear； is he summoned
to his official duty。 A busy man is Jesse Holmes。
I remember the clear picture of him that hung on
the walls of my fancy during my barefoot days when
I was dodging his oft…threatened devoirs。 To me
be was a terrible old man； in gray clothes； with a
long； ragged； gray beard； and reddish； fierce eyes。
I looked to see him come stumping up the road in
a cloud of dust； with a white oak staff in his hand
and his shoes tied with leather thongs。 I may
yet
But this is a story； not a sequel。
I have taken notice with regret； that few stories
worth reading have been written that did not con…
tain drink of some sort。 Down go the fluids； from
Arizona Dick's three fingers of red pizen to the in…
efficacious Oolong that nerves Lionel Montressor to
repartee in the 〃Dotty Dialogues。〃 So； in such
good company I may introduce an absinthe drip
one absinthe drip； dripped through a silver dripper；
orderly； opalescent； cool； green…eyed deceptive。
Kerner was a fool。 Besides that； he was an artist
and my good friend。 Now； if there is one thing on
earth utterly despicable to another； it is an artist
in the eyes of an author whose story he has illus…
trated。 Just try it once。 Write a story about a
mining camp in Idiho。 Sell it。 Spend the money；
and then； six months later； borrow a quarter （or
a dime）； and buy the magazine containing it。 You
find a full…page wash drawing of your hero； Black
Bill； the cowboy。 Somewhere in your story you em…
ployed the word 〃horse。〃 Aha！ the artist has
grasped the idea。 Black Bill has on the regulation
trousers of the M。 F。 H。 of the Westchester County
Hunt。 He carries a parlor rifle； and wears a mon…
ocle。 In the distance is a section of Forty…second
Street during a search for a lost gas…pipe； and the
Taj Mahal； the famous mausoleum in India。
〃Enough！ I hated Kerner； and one day I met him
and we became friends。 He was young and glori…
ously melancholy because his spirits were so high
and life bad so much in store for him。 Yes； he was
almost riotously sad。