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〃To think that you；〃 she said； 〃you who might have been leader〃
She could not finish it。 〃All the forces of reaction；〃 she threw
out。
〃I don't think they are the forces of reaction；〃 I said。 〃I think I
can find work to dobetter work on that side。〃
〃Against us！〃 she said。 〃As if progress wasn't hard enough！ As if
it didn't call upon every able man！〃
〃I don't think Liberalism has a monopoly of progress。〃
She did not answer that。 She sat quite still looking in front of
her。 〃WHY have you gone over？〃 she asked abruptly as though I had
said nothing。
There came a silence that I was impelled to end。 I began a stiff
dissertation from the hearthrug。 〃I am going over； because I think
I may join in an intellectual renascence on the Conservative side。
I think that in the coming struggle there will be a partial and
altogether confused and demoralising victory for democracy； that
will stir the classes which now dominate the Conservative party into
an energetic revival。 They will set out to win back； and win back。
Even if my estimate of con…temporary forces is wrong and they win；
they will still be forced to reconstruct their outlook。 A war
abroad will supply the chastening if home politics fail。 The effort
at renascence is bound to come by either alternative。 I believe I
can do more in relation to that effort than in any other connexion
in the world of politics at the present time。 That's my case；
Margaret。〃
She certainly did not grasp what I said。 〃And so you will throw
aside all the beginnings； all the beliefs and pledges〃 Again her
sentence remained incomplete。 〃I doubt if even； once you have gone
over； they will welcome you。〃
〃That hardly matters。〃
I made an effort to resume my speech。
〃I came into Parliament； Margaret；〃 I said； 〃a little prematurely。
StillI suppose it was only by coming into Parliament that I could
see things as I do now in terms of personality and imaginative
range。 。 。 。〃 I stopped。 Her stiff； unhappy； unlistening silence
broke up my disquisition。
〃After all；〃 I remarked； 〃most of this has been implicit in my
writings。〃
She made no sign of admission。
〃What are you going to do？〃 she asked。
〃Keep my seat for a time and make the reasons of my breach clear。
Then either I must resign orprobably this new Budget will lead to
a General Election。 It's evidently meant to strain the Lords and
provoke a quarrel。〃
〃You might； I think； have stayed to fight for the Budget。〃
〃I'm not；〃 I said； 〃so keen against the Lords。〃
On that we halted。
〃But what are you going to do？〃 she asked。
〃I shall make my quarrel over some points in the Budget。 I can't
quite tell you yet where my chance will come。 Then I shall either
resign my seator if things drift to dissolution I shall stand
again。〃
〃It's political suicide。〃
〃Not altogether。〃
〃I can't imagine you out of Parliament again。 It's just likelike
undoing all we have done。 What will you do？〃
〃Write。 Make a new； more definite place for myself。 You know； of
course； there's already a sort of group about Crupp and Gane。〃
Margaret seemed lost for a time in painful thought。
〃For me；〃 she said at last； 〃our political work has been a religion
it has been more than a religion。〃
I heard in silence。 I had no form of protest available against the
implications of that。
〃And then I find you turning against all we aimed to dotalking of
going over； almost lightlyto those others。〃 。 。 。
She was white…lipped as she spoke。 In the most curious way she had
captured the moral values of the situation。 I found myself
protesting ineffectually against her fixed conviction。 〃It's
because I think my duty lies in this change that I make it；〃 I said。
〃I don't see how you can say that；〃 she replied quietly。
There was another pause between us。
〃Oh！〃 she said and clenched her hand upon the table。 〃That it
should have come to this！〃
She was extraordinarily dignified and extraordinarily absurd。 She
was hurt and thwarted beyond measure。 She had no place in her
ideas； I thought； for me。 I could see how it appeared to her； but I
could not make her see anything of the intricate process that had
brought me to this divergence。 The opposition of our intellectual
temperaments was like a gag in my mouth。 What was there for me to
say？ A flash of intuition told me that behind her white dignity was
a passionate disappointment； a shattering of dreams that needed
before everything else the relief of weeping。
〃I've told you；〃 I said awkwardly； 〃as soon as I could。〃
There was another long silence。 〃So that is how we stand；〃 I said
with an air of having things defined。 I walked slowly to the door。
She had risen and stood now staring in front of her。
〃Good…night；〃 I said； making no movement towards our habitual kiss。
〃Good…night；〃 she answered in a tragic note。 。 。 。
I closed the door softly。 I remained for a moment or so on the big
landing； hesitating between my bedroom and my study。 As I did so I
heard the soft rustle of her movement and the click of the key in
her bedroom door。 Then everything was still。 。 。 。
She hid her tears from me。 Something gripped my heart at the
thought。
〃Damnation！〃 I said wincing。 〃Why the devil can't people at least
THINK in the same manner？〃
2
And that insufficient colloquy was the beginning of a prolonged
estrangement between us。 It was characteristic of our relations
that we never reopened the discussion。 The thing had been in the
air for some time； we had recognised it now； the widening breach
between us was confessed。 My own feelings were curiously divided。
It is remarkable that my very real affection for Margaret only
became evident to me with this quarrel。 The changes of the heart
are very subtle changes。 I am quite unaware how or when my early
romantic love for her purity and beauty and high…principled devotion
evaporated from my life； but I do know that quite early in my
parliamentary days there had come a vague； unconfessed resentment at
the tie that seemed to hold me in servitude to her standards of
private living and public act。 I felt I was caught； and none the
less so because it had been my own act to rivet on my shackles。 So
long as I still held myself bound to her that resentment grew。 Now；
since I had broken my bonds and taken my line it withered again； and
I could think of Margaret with a returning kindliness。
But I still felt embarrassment with her。 I felt myself dependent
upon her for house room and food and social support； as it were
under false pretences。 I would have liked to have separated our
financial affairs altogether。 But I knew that to raise the issue
would have seemed a last brutal indelicacy。 So I tried almost
furtively to