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it； altogether； was a far more essential reality； a self less
personal； less individualised； and broader in its references。 Its
aims were never simply to get on； it had an altogether different
system of demands and satisfactions。 It was critical； curious； more
than a little unfeelingand relentlessly illuminating。
It is just the existence and development of this more generalised
self…behind…the…frontage that is making modern life so much more
subtle and intricate to render； and so much more hopeful in its
relations to the perplexities of the universe。 I see this mental
and spiritual hinterland vary enormously in the people about me；
from a type which seems to keep； as people say； all its goods in the
window； to others who； like myself； come to regard the ostensible
existence more and more as a mere experimental feeder and agent for
that greater personality behind。 And this back…self has its history
of phases； its crises and happy accidents and irrevocable
conclusions； more or less distinct from the adventures and
achievements of the ostensible self。 It meets persons and phrases；
it assimilates the spirit of a book； it is startled into new
realisations by some accident that seems altogether irrelevant to
the general tenor of one's life。 Its increasing independence of the
ostensible career makes it the organ of corrective criticism； it
accumulates disturbing energy。 Then it breaks our overt promises
and repudiates our pledges； coming down at last like an overbearing
mentor upon the small engagements of the pupil。
In the life of the individual it takes the role that the growth of
philosophy； science； and creative literature may play in the
development of mankind。
2
It is curious to recall how Britten helped shatter that obvious；
lucidly explicable presentation of myself upon which I had embarked
with Margaret。 He returned to revive a memory of adolescent dreams
and a habit of adolescent frankness； he reached through my shallow
frontage as no one else seemed capable of doing； and dragged that
back…self into relation with it。
I remember very distinctly a dinner and a subsequent walk with him
which presents itself now as altogether typical of the quality of
his influence。
I had come upon him one day while lunching with Somers and Sutton at
the Playwrights' Club； and had asked him to dinner on the spur of
the moment。 He was oddly the same curly…headed； red…faced
ventriloquist； and oddly different； rather seedy as well as untidy；
and at first a little inclined to make comparisons with my sleek
successfulness。 But that disposition presently evaporated； and his
talk was good and fresh and provocative。 And something that had
long been straining at its checks in my mind flapped over； and he
and I found ourselves of one accord。
Altiora wasn't at this dinner。 When she came matters were apt to
become confusedly strenuous。 There was always a slight and
ineffectual struggle at the end on the part of Margaret to
anticipate Altiora's overpowering tendency to a rally and the
establishment of some entirely unjustifiable conclusion by a COUP…
DE…MAIN。 When； however； Altiora was absent； the quieter influence
of the Cramptons prevailed； temperance and information for its own
sake prevailed excessively over dinner and the play of thought。 。 。 。
Good Lord！ what bores the Cramptons were！ I wonder I endured
them as I did。 They had all of them the trick of lying in wait
conversationally； they had no sense of the self…exposures； the
gallant experiments in statement that are necessary for good
conversation。 They would watch one talking with an expression
exactly like peeping through bushes。 Then they would； as it were；
dash out； dissent succinctly； contradict some secondary fact； and
back to cover。 They gave one twilight nerves。 Their wives were
easier but still difficult at a stretch； they talked a good deal
about children and servants； but with an air caught from Altiora of
making observations upon sociological types。 Lewis gossiped about
the House in an entirely finite manner。 He never raised a
discussion； nobody ever raised a discussion。 He would ask what we
thought of Evesham's question that afternoon； and Edward would say
it was good； and Mrs。 Willie； who had been behind the grille； would
think it was very good； and then Willie； parting the branches； would
say rather conclusively that he didn't think it was very much good；
and I would deny hearing the question in order to evade a profitless
statement of views in that vacuum； and then we would cast about in
our minds for some other topic of equal interest。 。 。 。
On this occasion Altiora was absent； and to qualify our Young
Liberal bleakness we had Mrs。 Millingham； with her white hair and
her fresh mind and complexion； and Esmeer。 Willie Crampton was with
us； but not his wife； who was having her third baby on principle；
his brother Edward was present； and the Lewises； and of course the
Bunting Harblows。 There was also some other lady。 I remember her
as pale blue； but for the life of me I cannot remember her name。
Quite early there was a little breeze between Edward Crampton and
Esmeer； who had ventured an opinion about the partition of Poland。
Edward was at work then upon the seventh volume of his monumental
Life of Kosciusko； and a little impatient with views perhaps not
altogether false but betraying a lamentable ignorance of accessible
literature。 At any rate； his correction of Esmeer was magisterial。
After that there was a distinct and not altogether delightful pause；
and then some one； it may have been the pale…blue lady； asked Mrs。
Lewis whether her aunt Lady Carmixter had returned from her rest…
and…sun…cure in Italy。 That led to a rather anxiously sustained
talk about regimen； and Willie told us how he had profited by the
no…breakfast system。 It had increased his power of work enormously。
He could get through ten hours a day now without inconvenience。
〃What do you do？〃 said Esmeer abruptly。
〃Oh！ no end of work。 There's all the estate and looking after
things。〃
〃But publicly？〃
〃I asked three questions yesterday。 And for one of them I had to
consult nine books！〃
We were drifting； I could see； towards Doctor Haig's system of
dietary； and whether the exclusion or inclusion of fish and chicken
were most conducive to high efficiency； when Britten； who had
refused lemonade and claret and demanded Burgundy； broke out； and
was discovered to be demanding in his throat just what we Young
Liberals thought we were up to？
〃I want；〃 said Britten； repeating his challenge a little louder； 〃to
hear just exactly what you think you are doing in Parliament？〃
Lewis laughed nervously； and thought we were 〃Seeking the Good of
the Community。〃
〃HOW？〃
〃Beneficient Legislation；〃 said Lewis。