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don't clearly remember what it was I had expected； I suppose the
fuss and strain of the General Election had built up a feeling that
my return would in some way put power into my hands； and instead I
found myself a mere undistinguished unit in a vast but rather vague
majority。 There were moments when I felt very distinctly that a
majority could be too big a crowd altogether。 I had all my work
still before me； I had achieved nothing as yet but opportunity； and
a very crowded opportunity it was at that。 Everyone about me was
chatting Parliament and appointments； one breathed distracting and
irritating speculations as to what would be done and who would be
asked to do it。 I was chiefly impressed by what was unlikely to be
done and by the absence of any general plan of legislation to hold
us all together。 I found the talk about Parliamentary procedure and
etiquette particularly trying。 We dined with the elder Cramptons
one evening； and old Sir Edward was lengthily sage about what the
House liked； what it didn't like； what made a good impression and
what a bad one。 〃A man shouldn't speak more than twice in his first
session； and not at first on too contentious a topic；〃 said Sir
Edward。 〃No。〃
〃Very much depends on manner。 The House hates a lecturer。 There's
a sort of airy earnestness〃
He waved his cigar to eke out his words。
〃Little peculiarities of costume count for a great deal。 I could
name one man who spent three years living down a pair of
spatterdashers。 On the other handa thing like thatif it catches
the eye of the PUNCH man； for example； may be your making。〃
He went off into a lengthy speculation of why the House had come to
like an originally unpopular Irishman named Biggar。 。 。 。
The opening of Parliament gave me some peculiar moods。 I began to
feel more and more like a branded sheep。 We were sworn in in
batches； dozens and scores of fresh men； trying not to look too
fresh under the inspection of policemen and messengers； all of us
carrying new silk hats and wearing magisterial coats。 It is one of
my vivid memories from this period； the sudden outbreak of silk hats
in the smoking…room of the National Liberal Club。 At first I
thought there must have been a funeral。 Familiar faces that one had
grown to know under soft felt hats； under bowlers； under liberal…
minded wide brims； and above artistic ties and tweed jackets；
suddenly met one； staring with the stern gaze of self…consciousness；
from under silk hats of incredible glossiness。 There was a
disposition to wear the hat much too forward； I thought； for a good
Parliamentary style。
There was much play with the hats all through； a tremendous
competition to get in first and put hats on coveted seats。 A memory
hangs about me of the House in the early afternoon； an inhumane
desolation inhabited almost entirely by silk hats。 The current use
of cards to secure seats came later。 There were yards and yards of
empty green benches with hats and hats and hats distributed along
them； resolute…looking top hats； lax top hats with a kind of shadowy
grin under them； sensible top bats brim upward； and one scandalous
incontinent that had rolled from the front Opposition bench right to
the middle of the floor。 A headless hat is surely the most soulless
thing in the world； far worse even than a skull。 。 。 。
At last； in a leisurely muddled manner we got to the Address； and I
found myself packed in a dense elbowing crowd to the right of the
Speaker's chair； while the attenuated Opposition； nearly leaderless
after the massacre； tilted its brim to its nose and sprawled at its
ease amidst its empty benches。
There was a tremendous hullaboo about something； and I craned to see
over the shoulder of the man in front。 ''Order； order； order！〃
〃What's it about？〃 I asked。
The man in front of me was clearly no better informed； and then I
gathered from a slightly contemptuous Scotchman beside me that it
was Chris Robinson had walked between the bonourable member in
possession of the house and the Speaker。 I caught a glimpse of him
blushingly whispering about his misadventure to a colleague。 He was
just that same little figure I had once assisted to entertain at
Cambridge； but grey…haired now； and still it seemed with the same
knitted muffler he had discarded for a reckless half…hour while he
talked to us in Hatherleigh's rooms。
It dawned upon me that I wasn't particularly wanted in the House；
and that I should get all I needed of the opening speeches next day
from the TIMES。
I made my way out and was presently walking rather aimlessly through
the outer lobby。
I caught myself regarding the shadow that spread itself out before
me； multiplied itself in blue tints of various intensity； shuffled
itself like a pack of cards under the many lights； the square
shoulders； the silk hat； already worn with a parliamentary tilt
backward； I found I was surveying this statesmanlike outline with a
weak approval。 〃A MEMBER！〃 I felt the little cluster of people that
were scattered about the lobby must be saying。
〃Good God！〃 I said in hot reaction； 〃what am I doing here？〃
It was one of those moments infinitely trivial in themselves； that
yet are cardinal in a man's life。 It came to me with extreme
vividness that it wasn't so much that I had got hold of something as
that something had got hold of me。 I distinctly recall the rebound
of my mind。 Whatever happened in this Parliament； I at least would
attempt something。 〃By God！〃 I said； 〃I won't be overwhelmed。 I am
here to do something； and do something I will！〃
But I felt that for the moment I could not remain in the House。
I went out by myself with my thoughts into the night。 It was a
chilling night； and rare spots of rain were falling。 I glanced over
my shoulder at the lit windows of the Lords。 I walked； I remember；
westward； and presently came to the Grosvenar Embankment and
followed it； watching the glittering black rush of the river and the
dark； dimly lit barges round which the water swirled。 Across the
river was the hunched sky…line of Doulton's potteries； and a kiln
flared redly。 Dimly luminous trams were gliding amidst a dotted
line of lamps； and two little trains crawled into Waterloo station。
Mysterious black figures came by me and were suddenly changed to the
commonplace at the touch of the nearer lamps。 It was a big confused
world； I felt； for a man to lay his hands upon。
I remember I crossed Vauxhall Bridge and stood for a time watching
the huge black shapes in the darkness under the gas…works。 A shoal
of coal barges lay indistinctly on the darkly shining mud and water
below； and a colossal crane was perpetually hauling up coal into
mysterious blacknesses above； and dropping the empty clutch back to
the barges。 Just one or two minute black featureless f