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should present chiefly crude and ridiculous aspects。 The distrust
of government in the Victorian days was far too great； and the
general intelligence far too low； to permit the State to go about
the new business it was taking up in a businesslike way； to train
teachers； build and equip schools； endow pedagogic research； and
provide properly written school…books。 These things it was felt
MUST be provided by individual and local effort； and since it was
manifest that it was individual and local effort that were in
default； it was reluctantly agreed to stimulate them by money
payments。 The State set up a machinery of examination both in
Science and Art and for the elementary schools； and payments； known
technically as grants； were made in accordance with the examination
results attained； to such schools as Providence might see fit to
send into the world。 In this way it was felt the Demand would be
established that would； according to the beliefs of that time；
inevitably ensure the Supply。 An industry of 〃Grant earning〃 was
created； and this would give education as a necessary by…product。
In the end this belief was found to need qualification； but Grant…
earning was still in full activity when I was a small boy。 So far
as the Science and Art Department and my father are concerned； the
task of examination was entrusted to eminent scientific men； for the
most part quite unaccustomed to teaching。 You see； if they also
were teaching similar classes to those they examined； it was feared
that injustice might be done。 Year after year these eminent persons
set questions and employed subordinates to read and mark the
increasing thousands of answers that ensued； and having no doubt the
national ideal of fairness well developed in their minds； they were
careful each year to re…read the preceding papers before composing
the current one； in order to see what it was usual to ask。 As a
result of this； in the course of a few years the recurrence and
permutation of questions became almost calculable； and since the
practical object of the teaching was to teach people not science；
but how to write answers to these questions； the industry of Grant…
earning assumed a form easily distinguished from any kind of genuine
education whatever。
Other remarkable compromises had also to be made with the spirit of
the age。 The unfortunate conflict between Religion and Science
prevalent at this time was mitigated； if I remember rightly； by
making graduates in arts and priests in the established church
Science Teachers EX OFFICIO； and leaving local and private
enterprise to provide schools； diagrams； books； material； according
to the conceptions of efficiency prevalent in the district。 Private
enterprise made a particularly good thing of the books。 A number of
competing firms of publishers sprang into existence specialising in
Science and Art Department work； they set themselves to produce
text…books that should supply exactly the quantity and quality of
knowledge necessary for every stage of each of five and twenty
subjects into which desirable science was divided； and copies and
models and instructions that should give precisely the method and
gestures esteemed as proficiency in art。 Every section of each book
was written in the idiom found to be most satisfactory to the
examiners； and test questions extracted from papers set in former
years were appended to every chapter。 By means of these last the
teacher was able to train his class to the very highest level of
grant…earning efficiency； and very naturally he cast all other
methods of exposition aside。 First he posed his pupils with
questions and then dictated model replies。
That was my father's method of instruction。 I attended his classes
as an elementary grant…earner from the age of ten until his death；
and it is so I remember him； sitting on the edge of a table；
smothering a yawn occasionally and giving out the infallible
formulae to the industriously scribbling class sitting in rows of
desks before him。 Occasionally be would slide to his feet and go to
a blackboard on an easel and draw on that very slowly and
deliberately in coloured chalks a diagram for the class to copy in
coloured pencils； and sometimes he would display a specimen or
arrange an experiment for them to see。 The room in the Institute in
which he taught was equipped with a certain amount of apparatus
prescribed as necessary for subject this and subject that by the
Science and Art Department； and this my father would supplement with
maps and diagrams and drawings of his own。
But he never really did experiments； except that in the class in
systematic botany he sometimes made us tease common flowers to
pieces。 He did not do experiments if he could possibly help it；
because in the first place they used up time and gas for the Bunsen
burner and good material in a ruinous fashion； and in the second
they were； in his rather careless and sketchy hands； apt to endanger
the apparatus of the Institute and even the lives of his students。
Then thirdly； real experiments involved washing up。 And moreover
they always turned out wrong； and sometimes misled the too observant
learner very seriously and opened demoralising controversies。 Quite
early in life I acquired an almost ineradicable sense of the
unscientific perversity of Nature and the impassable gulf that is
fixed between systematic science and elusive fact。 I knew； for
example； that in science； whether it be subject XII。； Organic
Chemistry； or subject XVII。； Animal Physiology； when you blow into a
glass of lime water it instantly becomes cloudy； and if you continue
to blow it clears again； whereas in truth you may blow into the
stuff from the lime…water bottle until you are crimson in the face
and painful under the ears； and it never becomes cloudy at all。 And
I knew； too； that in science if you put potassium chlorate into a
retort and heat it over a Bunsen burner； oxygen is disengaged and
may be collected over water； whereas in real life if you do anything
of the sort the vessel cracks with a loud report； the potassium
chlorate descends sizzling upon the flame； the experimenter says
〃Oh！ Damn！〃 with astonishing heartiness and distinctness； and a lady
student in the back seats gets up and leaves the room。
Science is the organised conquest of Nature； and I can quite
understand that ancient libertine refusing to cooperate in her own
undoing。 And I can quite understand； too； my father's preference
for what he called an illustrative experiment； which was simply an
arrangement of the apparatus in front of the class with nothing
whatever by way of material； and the Bunsen burner clean and cool；
and then a slow luminous description of just what you did put in it
when you were so ill…advised as to carry the affair beyond
illustration； and just exactly what oug