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In speaking privately to these young persons； many of whom have
literary aspirations； one should be very considerate of their human
feelings。 But addressing them collectively a few plain truths will
not give any one of them much pain。 Indeed； almost every individual
among them will feel sure that he or she is an exception to those
generalities which apply so well to the rest。
If I were a literary Pope sending out an Encyclical； I would tell
these inexperienced persons that nothing is so frequent as to mistake
an ordinary human gift for a special and extraordinary endowment。
The mechanism of breathing and that of swallowing are very wonderful；
and if one had seen and studied them in his own person only； he might
well think himself a prodigy。 Everybody knows these and other bodily
faculties are common gifts； but nobody except editors and school…
teachers and here and there a literary than knows how common is the
capacity of rhyming and prattling in readable prose； especially among
young women of a certain degree of education。 In my character of
Pontiff； I should tell these young persons that most of them labored
under a delusion。 It is very hard to believe it； one feels so full
of intelligence and so decidedly superior to one's dull relations and
schoolmates； one writes so easily and the lines sound so prettily to
one's self； there are such felicities of expression； just like those
we hear quoted from the great poets； and besides one has been told by
so many friends that all one had to do was to print and be famous！
Delusion； my poor dear； delusion at least nineteen times out of
twenty； yes； ninety…nine times in a hundred。
But as private father confessor； I always allow as much as I can for
the one chance in the hundred。 I try not to take away all hope；
unless the case is clearly desperate； and then to direct the
activities into some other channel。
Using kind language； I can talk pretty freely。 I have counselled
more than one aspirant after literary fame to go back to his tailor's
board or his lapstone。 I have advised the dilettanti； whose foolish
friends praised their verses or their stories； to give up all their
deceptive dreams of making a name by their genius； and go to work in
the study of a profession which asked only for the diligent use of
average； ordinary talents。 It is a very grave responsibility which
these unknown correspondents throw upon their chosen counsellors。
One whom you have never seen； who lives in a community of which you
know nothing； sends you specimens more or less painfully voluminous
of his writings； which he asks you to read over； think over； and pray
over； and send back an answer informing him whether fame and fortune
are awaiting him as the possessor of the wonderful gifts his writings
manifest； and whether you advise him to leave all；the shop he
sweeps out every morning； the ledger he posts； the mortar in which he
pounds； the bench at which he urges the reluctant plane；and follow
his genius whithersoever it may lead him。 The next correspondent
wants you to mark out a whole course of life for him； and the means
of judgment he gives you are about as adequate as the brick which the
simpleton of old carried round as an advertisement of the house he
had to sell。 My advice to all the young men that write to me depends
somewhat on the handwriting and spelling。 If these are of a certain
character； and they have reached a mature age； I recommend some
honest manual calling； such as they have very probably been bred to；
and which will； at least； give them a chance of becoming President of
the United States by and by； if that is any object to them。 What
would you have done with the young person who called on me a good
many years ago； so many that he has probably forgotten his literary
effort；and read as specimens of his literary workmanship lines like
those which I will favor you with presently？ He was an able…bodied；
grown…up young person； whose ingenuousness interested me； and I am
sure if I thought he would ever be pained to see his maiden effort in
print； I would deny myself the pleasure of submitting it to the
reader。 The following is an exact transcript of the lines he showed
me； and which I took down on the spot：
〃Are you in the vein for cider？
Are you in the tune for pork ？
Hist！ for Betty's cleared the larder
And turned the pork to soap。〃
Do not judge too hastily this sincere effort of a maiden muse。 Here
was a sense of rhythm； and an effort in the direction of rhyme； here
was an honest transcript of an occurrence of daily life； told with a
certain idealizing expression； recognizing the existence of impulses；
mysterious instincts； impelling us even in the selection of our
bodily sustenance。 But I had to tell him that it wanted dignity of
incident and grace of narrative； that there was no atmosphere to it；
nothing of the light that never was and so forth。 I did not say this
in these very words； but I gave him to understand； without being too
hard upon him； that he had better not desert his honest toil in
pursuit of the poet's bays。 This； it must be confessed； was a rather
discouraging case。 A young person like this may pierce； as the
Frenchmen say； by and by； but the chances are all the other way。
I advise aimless young men to choose some profession without needless
delay； and so get into a good strong current of human affairs； and
find themselves bound up in interests with a compact body of their
fellow…men。
I advise young women who write to me for counsel；perhaps I do not
advise them at all； only sympathize a little with them； and listen to
what they have to say （eight closely written pages on the average；
which I always read from beginning to end； thinking of the widow's
cruse and myself in the character of Elijah） andandcome now； I
don't believe Methuselah would tell you what he said in his letters
to young ladies； written when he was in his nine hundred and sixty…
ninth year。
But； dear me！ how much work all this private criticism involves！ An
editor has only to say 〃respectfully declined；〃 and there is the end
of it。 But the confidential adviser is expected to give the reasons
of his likes and dislikes in detail； and sometimes to enter into an
argument for their support。 That is more than any martyr can stand；
but what trials he must go through； as it is！ Great bundles of
manuscripts； verse or prose； which the recipient is expected to read；
perhaps to recommend to a publisher； at any rate to express a well…
digested and agreeably flavored opinion about； which opinion； nine
times out of ten； disguise it as we may； has to be a bitter draught；
every form of egotism； conceit； false sentiment； hunger for
notoriety； and eagerness for display of anserine plumage before the
admiring public；all these come in by mail or express； covered with
postage…stamps of so much more cost than the value of the waste words
they overlie； that one comes at last to groan and change color at the
very sight of a package； and to dread the postman's knock as if it
were that of the other visitor whose naked knuckles rap at every
door。
Still there are experien