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HARDCASTLE。 And very handsome。
MISS HARDCASTLE。 My dear papa； say no more； （kissing his
hand）； he's mine； I'll have him。
HARDCASTLE。 And； to crown all； Kate； he's one of the most
bashful and reserved young fellows in all the world。
MISS HARDCASTLE。 Eh！ you have frozen me to death again。
That word RESERVED has undone all the rest of his accomplishments。
A reserved lover； it is said； always makes a suspicious husband。
HARDCASTLE。 On the contrary； modesty seldom resides in a
breast that is not enriched with nobler virtues。 It was the very feature in
his character that first struck me。
MISS HARDCASTLE。 He must have more striking features to catch
me； I promise you。 However； if he be so young； so handsome； and so
everything as you mention； I believe he'll do still。 I think I'll have him。
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HARDCASTLE。 Ay； Kate； but there is still an obstacle。 It's more
than an even wager he may not have you。
MISS HARDCASTLE。 My dear papa； why will you mortify one
so？Well； if he refuses； instead of breaking my heart at his indifference；
I'll only break my glass for its flattery； set my cap to some newer fashion；
and look out for some less difficult admirer。
HARDCASTLE。 Bravely resolved！ In the mean time I'll go
prepare the servants for his reception： as we seldom see company； they
want as much training as a company of recruits the first day's muster。
＇Exit。＇
MISS HARDCASTLE。 （Alone）。 Lud； this news of papa's puts me
all in a flutter。 Young； handsome： these he put last； but I put them
foremost。 Sensible； good…natured； I like all that。 But then reserved and
sheepish； that's much against him。 Yet can't he be cured of his timidity；
by being taught to be proud of his wife？ Yes； and can't IBut I vow I'm
disposing of the husband before I have secured the lover。
Enter MISS NEVILLE。
MISS HARDCASTLE。 I'm glad you're come； Neville； my dear。
Tell me； Constance； how do I look this evening？ Is there anything
whimsical about me？ Is it one of my well…looking days； child？ Am I in
face to…day？
MISS NEVILLE。 Perfectly； my dear。 Yet now I look againbless
me！sure no accident has happened among the canary birds or the gold
fishes。 Has your brother or the cat been meddling？ or has the last novel
been too moving？
MISS HARDCASTLE。 No； nothing of all this。 I have been
threatenedI can scarce get it outI have been threatened with a lover。
MISS NEVILLE。 And his name
MISS HARDCASTLE。 Is Marlow。
MISS NEVILLE。 Indeed！
MISS HARDCASTLE。 The son of Sir Charles Marlow。
MISS NEVILLE。 As I live； the most intimate friend of Mr。 Hastings；
my admirer。 They are never asunder。 I believe you must have seen him
when we lived in town。
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MISS HARDCASTLE。 Never。
MISS NEVILLE。 He's a very singular character； I assure you。
Among women of reputation and virtue he is the modestest man alive； but
his acquaintance give him a very different character among creatures of
another stamp： you understand me。
MISS HARDCASTLE。 An odd character indeed。 I shall never be
able to manage him。 What shall I do？ Pshaw； think no more of him； but
trust to occurrences for success。 But how goes on your own affair； my
dear？ has my mother been courting you for my brother Tony as usual？
MISS NEVILLE。 I have just come from one of our agreeable tete…a…
tetes。 She has been saying a hundred tender things； and setting off her
pretty monster as the very pink of perfection。
MISS HARDCASTLE。 And her partiality is such； that she actually
thinks him so。 A fortune like yours is no small temptation。 Besides； as
she has the sole management of it； I'm not surprised to see her unwilling to
let it go out of the family。
MISS NEVILLE。 A fortune like mine； which chiefly consists in
jewels； is no such mighty temptation。 But at any rate； if my dear
Hastings be but constant； I make no doubt to be too hard for her at last。
However； I let her suppose that I am in love with her son； and she never
once dreams that my affections are fixed upon another。
MISS HARDCASTLE。 My good brother holds out stoutly。 I could
almost love him for hating you so。
MISS NEVILLE。 It is a good…natured creature at bottom； and I'm
sure would wish to see me married to anybody but himself。 But my
aunt's bell rings for our afternoon's walk round the improvements。
Allons！ Courage is necessary； as our affairs are critical。
MISS HARDCASTLE。 〃Would it were bed…time； and all were well。〃
＇Exeunt。＇
SCENEAn Alehouse Room。 Several shabby Fellows with punch
and tobacco。 TONY at the head of the table； a little higher than the rest；
a mallet in his hand。
OMNES。 Hurrea！ hurrea！ hurrea！ bravo！
FIRST FELLOW Now； gentlemen； silence for a song。 The 'squire
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is going to knock himself down for a song。
OMNES。 Ay； a song； a song！
TONY。 Then I'll sing you； gentlemen； a song I made upon this
alehouse； the Three Pigeons。
SONG。
Let schoolmasters puzzle their brain With grammar； and
nonsense； and learning； Good liquor； I stoutly maintain； Gives
GENUS a better discerning。 Let them brag of their heathenish gods；
Their Lethes； their Styxes； and Stygians； Their Quis； and their Quaes； and
their Quods； They're all but a parcel of Pigeons。
Toroddle； toroddle； toroll。
When methodist preachers come down； A…preaching that
drinking is sinful； I'll wager the rascals