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She promptly understood me。 〃You mean the cruel charge？〃
〃It doesn't live an instant。 My dear woman； LOOK at him！〃
She smiled at my pretention to have discovered his charm。
〃I assure you； miss； I do nothing else！ What will you say； then？〃
she immediately added。
〃In answer to the letter？〃 I had made up my mind。 〃Nothing。〃
〃And to his uncle？〃
I was incisive。 〃Nothing。〃
〃And to the boy himself？〃
I was wonderful。 〃Nothing。〃
She gave with her apron a great wipe to her mouth。 〃Then I'll stand by you。
We'll see it out。〃
〃We'll see it out！〃 I ardently echoed； giving her my hand to make
it a vow。
She held me there a moment； then whisked up her apron again with her
detached hand。 〃Would you mind； miss； if I used the freedom〃
〃To kiss me？ No！〃 I took the good creature in my arms and； after we
had embraced like sisters； felt still more fortified and indignant。
This； at all events； was for the time： a time so full that；
as I recall the way it went； it reminds me of all the art
I now need to make it a little distinct。 What I look
back at with amazement is the situation I accepted。
I had undertaken； with my companion； to see it out； and I was
under a charm； apparently； that could smooth away the extent
and the far and difficult connections of such an effort。
I was lifted aloft on a great wave of infatuation and pity。
I found it simple； in my ignorance； my confusion； and perhaps
my conceit； to assume that I could deal with a boy whose
education for the world was all on the point of beginning。
I am unable even to remember at this day what proposal I framed
for the end of his holidays and the resumption of his studies。
Lessons with me； indeed； that charming summer； we all had
a theory that he was to have； but I now feel that； for weeks；
the lessons must have been rather my own。 I learned something
at first； certainlythat had not been one of the teachings of
my small； smothered life； learned to be amused； and even amusing；
and not to think for the morrow。 It was the first time；
in a manner； that I had known space and air and freedom；
all the music of summer and all the mystery of nature。
And then there was considerationand consideration was sweet。
Oh； it was a trapnot designed； but deepto my imagination；
to my delicacy； perhaps to my vanity； to whatever； in me；
was most excitable。 The best way to picture it all is to say
that I was off my guard。 They gave me so little trouble
they were of a gentleness so extraordinary。 I used to speculate
but even this with a dim disconnectednessas to how the rough future
（for all futures are rough！） would handle them and might bruise them。
They had the bloom of health and happiness； and yet；
as if I had been in charge of a pair of little grandees；
of princes of the blood； for whom everything； to be right；
would have to be enclosed and protected； the only form that；
in my fancy； the afteryears could take for them was that of
a romantic； a really royal extension of the garden and the park。
It may be； of course； above all； that what suddenly broke
into this gives the previous time a charm of stillness
that hush in which something gathers or crouches。
The change was actually like the spring of a beast。
In the first weeks the days were long； they often； at their finest；
gave me what I used to call my own hour； the hour when； for my pupils；
teatime and bedtime having come and gone； I had； before my final retirement；
a small interval alone。 Much as I liked my companions； this hour was
the thing in the day I liked most； and I liked it best of all when；
as the light fadedor rather； I should say； the day lingered and the last
calls of the last birds sounded； in a flushed sky； from the old trees
I could take a turn into the grounds and enjoy； almost with a sense
of property that amused and flattered me； the beauty and dignity of
the place。 It was a pleasure at these moments to feel myself tranquil
and justified； doubtless； perhaps； also to reflect that by my discretion；
my quiet good sense and general high propriety； I was giving pleasure
if he ever thought of it！to the person to whose pressure I had responded。
What I was doing was what he had earnestly hoped and directly asked of me；
and that I COULD； after all； do it proved even a greater joy than I
had expected。 I daresay I fancied myself； in short； a remarkable young
woman and took comfort in the faith that this would more publicly appear。
Well； I needed to be remarkable to offer a front to the remarkable things
that presently gave their first sign。
It was plump； one afternoon； in the middle of my very hour：
the children were tucked away； and I had come out for my stroll。
One of the thoughts that； as I don't in the least shrink now
from noting； used to be with me in these wanderings was that it
would be as charming as a charming story suddenly to meet someone。
Someone would appear there at the turn of a path and would stand
before me and smile and approve。 I didn't ask more than that
I only asked that he should KNOW； and the only way to be sure he knew
would be to see it； and the kind light of it； in his handsome face。
That was exactly present to meby which I mean the face was
when； on the first of these occasions； at the end of a long
June day； I stopped short on emerging from one of the plantations
and coming into view of the house。 What arrested me on the spot
and with a shock much greater than any vision had allowed for
was the sense that my imagination had； in a flash； turned real。
He did stand there！but high up； beyond the lawn and at the very top of
the tower to which； on that first morning； little Flora had conducted me。
This tower was one of a pairsquare； incongruous； crenelated structures
that were distinguished； for some reason； though I could see
little difference； as the new and the old。 They flanked opposite
ends of the house and were probably architectural absurdities；
redeemed in a measure indeed by not being wholly disengaged nor
of a height too pretentious； dating； in their gingerbread antiquity；
from a romantic revival that was already a respectable past。
I admired them； had fancies about them； for we could all profit
in a degree； especially when they loomed through the dusk；
by the grandeur of their actual battlements； yet it was not at
such an elevation that the figure I had so often invoked seemed
most in place。
It produced in me； this figure； in the clear twilight； I remember；
two distinct gasps of emotion； which were； sharply； the shock
of my first and that of my second surprise。 My second was a
violent perception of the mistake of my first： the man who met
my eyes was not the person I had precipitately supposed。
There came to me thus a bewilderment of vision of which；
after these years； there is no living view that I can hope to give。
An unknown man in a lonely place is a permitted object of fear
to a young woman privately