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The wretched child had spoken exactly as if she had got from
some outside source each of her stabbing little words; and I
could therefore; in the full despair of all I had to accept;
but sadly shake my head at her。 〃If I had ever doubted;
all my doubt would at present have gone。 I've been living with
the miserable truth; and now it has only too much closed round me。
Of course I've lost you: I've interfered; and you've seen
under HER dictation〃with which I faced; over the pool again;
our infernal witness〃the easy and perfect way to meet it。
I've done my best; but I've lost you。 Goodbye。〃 For Mrs。 Grose
I had an imperative; an almost frantic 〃Go; go!〃 before which;
in infinite distress; but mutely possessed of the little girl
and clearly convinced; in spite of her blindness; that something
awful had occurred and some collapse engulfed us; she retreated;
by the way we had come; as fast as she could move。
Of what first happened when I was left alone I had no subsequent memory。
I only knew that at the end of; I suppose; a quarter of an hour;
an odorous dampness and roughness; chilling and piercing
my trouble; had made me understand that I must have thrown myself;
on my face; on the ground and given way to a wildness of grief。
I must have lain there long and cried and sobbed; for when I raised
my head the day was almost done。 I got up and looked a moment;
through the twilight; at the gray pool and its blank; haunted edge;
and then I took; back to the house; my dreary and difficult course。
When I reached the gate in the fence the boat; to my surprise; was gone;
so that I had a fresh reflection to make on Flora's extraordinary
command of the situation。 She passed that night; by the most tacit;
and I should add; were not the word so grotesque a false note;
the happiest of arrangements; with Mrs。 Grose。 I saw neither of them
on my return; but; on the other hand; as by an ambiguous compensation;
I saw a great deal of Miles。 I sawI can use no other phrase
so much of him that it was as if it were more than it had ever been。
No evening I had passed at Bly had the portentous quality of this one;
in spite of whichand in spite also of the deeper depths of
consternation that had opened beneath my feetthere was literally;
in the ebbing actual; an extraordinarily sweet sadness。
On reaching the house I had never so much as looked for the boy;
I had simply gone straight to my room to change what I was wearing
and to take in; at a glance; much material testimony to Flora's rupture。
Her little belongings had all been removed。 When later;
by the schoolroom fire; I was served with tea by the usual maid;
I indulged; on the article of my other pupil; in no inquiry whatever。
He had his freedom nowhe might have it to the end! Well; he did
have it; and it consistedin part at leastof his coming
in at about eight o'clock and sitting down with me in silence。
On the removal of the tea things I had blown out the candles
and drawn my chair closer: I was conscious of a mortal coldness
and felt as if I should never again be warm。 So; when he appeared;
I was sitting in the glow with my thoughts。 He paused a moment
by the door as if to look at me; thenas if to share them
came to the other side of the hearth and sank into a chair。
We sat there in absolute stillness; yet he wanted; I felt;
to be with me。
XXI
Before a new day; in my room; had fully broken; my eyes opened
to Mrs。 Grose; who had come to my bedside with worse news。
Flora was so markedly feverish that an illness was perhaps at hand;
she had passed a night of extreme unrest; a night agitated above
all by fears that had for their subject not in the least her former;
but wholly her present; governess。 It was not against the possible
re…entrance of Miss Jessel on the scene that she protested
it was conspicuously and passionately against mine。 I was promptly
on my feet of course; and with an immense deal to ask; the more that my
friend had discernibly now girded her loins to meet me once more。
This I felt as soon as I had put to her the question of her sense
of the child's sincerity as against my own。 〃She persists in denying
to you that she saw; or has ever seen; anything?〃
My visitor's trouble; truly; was great。 〃Ah; miss; it isn't a matter on which
I can push her! Yet it isn't either; I must say; as if I much needed to。
It has made her; every inch of her; quite old。〃
〃Oh; I see her perfectly from here。 She resents; for all
the world like some high little personage; the imputation
on her truthfulness and; as it were; her respectability。
‘Miss Jessel indeedSHE!' Ah; she's ‘respectable;' the chit!
The impression she gave me there yesterday was; I assure you;
the very strangest of all; it was quite beyond any of the others。
I DID put my foot in it! She'll never speak to me again。〃
Hideous and obscure as it all was; it held Mrs。 Grose briefly silent;
then she granted my point with a frankness which; I made sure;
had more behind it。 〃I think indeed; miss; she never will。
She do have a grand manner about it!〃
〃And that manner〃I summed it up〃is practically what's the matter
with her now!〃
Oh; that manner; I could see in my visitor's face; and not
a little else besides! 〃She asks me every three minutes if I
think you're coming in。〃
〃I seeI see。〃 I; too; on my side; had so much more than worked it out。
〃Has she said to you since yesterdayexcept to repudiate her familiarity
with anything so dreadfula single other word about Miss Jessel?〃
〃Not one; miss。 And of course you know;〃 my friend added;
〃I took it from her; by the lake; that; just then and there
at least; there WAS nobody。〃
〃Rather! and; naturally; you take it from her still。〃
〃I don't contradict her。 What else can I do?〃
〃Nothing in the world! You've the cleverest little person to deal with。
They've made themtheir two friends; I meanstill cleverer
even than nature did; for it was wondrous material to play on!
Flora has now her grievance; and she'll work it to the end。〃
〃Yes; miss; but to WHAT end?〃
〃Why; that of dealing with me to her uncle。 She'll make me out to him
the lowest creature!〃
I winced at the fair show of the scene in Mrs。 Grose's face;
she looked for a minute as if she sharply saw them together。
〃And him who thinks so well of you!〃
〃He has an odd wayit comes over me now;〃 I laughed;〃of proving it!
But that doesn't matter。 What Flora wants; of course; is to get rid of me。〃
My companion bravely concurred。 〃Never again to so much as look at you。〃
〃So that what you've come to me now for;〃 I asked; 〃is to speed me on
my way?〃 Before she had time to reply; however; I had her in check。
〃I've a better ideathe result of my reflections。 My going WOULD seem
the right thing; and on Sunday I was terribly near it。 Yet that won't do。
It's YOU who must go。 You must take Flora。〃
My visit