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the turn of the screw-第28章

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had held high and full to the brim that now; even before speaking;

I felt overflow in a deluge。  〃I'll tell you if you'll tell ME〃

I heard myself say; then heard the tremor in which it broke。



〃Well; what?〃



Mrs。 Grose's suspense blazed at me; but it was too late now;

and I brought the thing out handsomely。  〃Where; my pet;

is Miss Jessel?〃







                           XX





Just as in the churchyard with Miles; the whole thing was upon us。

Much as I had made of the fact that this name had never once;

between us; been sounded; the quick; smitten glare with

which the child's face now received it fairly likened

my breach of the silence to the smash of a pane of glass。

It added to the interposing cry; as if to stay the blow;

that Mrs。 Grose; at the same instant; uttered over my violence

the shriek of a creature scared; or rather wounded; which; in turn;

within a few seconds; was completed by a gasp of my own。

I seized my colleague's arm。  〃She's there; she's there!〃



Miss Jessel stood before us on the opposite bank exactly as she

had stood the other time; and I remember; strangely; as the

first feeling now produced in me; my thrill of joy at having

brought on a proof。  She was there; and I was justified;

she was there; and I was neither cruel nor mad。

She was there for poor scared Mrs。 Grose; but she was there

most for Flora; and no moment of my monstrous time was perhaps

so extraordinary as that in which I consciously threw out to her

with the sense that; pale and ravenous demon as she was; she would

catch and understand itan inarticulate message of gratitude。

She rose erect on the spot my friend and I had lately quitted;

and there was not; in all the long reach of her desire;

an inch of her evil that fell short。  This first vividness

of vision and emotion were things of a few seconds;

during which Mrs。 Grose's dazed blink across to where I pointed

struck me as a sovereign sign that she too at last saw;

just as it carried my own eyes precipitately to the child。

The revelation then of the manner in which Flora was affected

startled me; in truth; far more than it would have done to find

her also merely agitated; for direct dismay was of course not

what I had expected。  Prepared and on her guard as our pursuit

had actually made her; she would repress every betrayal;

and I was therefore shaken; on the spot; by my first

glimpse of the particular one for which I had not allowed。

To see her; without a convulsion of her small pink face; not even

feign to glance in the direction of the prodigy I announced;

but only; instead of that; turn at ME an expression of hard;

still gravity; an expression absolutely new and unprecedented

and that appeared to read and accuse and judge me

this was a stroke that somehow converted the little girl

herself into the very presence that could make me quail。

I quailed even though my certitude that she thoroughly saw

was never greater than at that instant; and in the immediate

need to defend myself I called it passionately to witness。

〃She's there; you little unhappy thingthere; there; THERE;

and you see her as well as you see me!〃  I had said shortly

before to Mrs。 Grose that she was not at these times a child;

but an old; old woman; and that description of her could not

have been more strikingly confirmed than in the way in which;

for all answer to this; she simply showed me; without a concession;

an admission; of her eyes; a countenance of deeper and deeper;

of indeed suddenly quite fixed; reprobation。  I was by this time

if I can put the whole thing at all togethermore appalled

at what I may properly call her manner than at anything else;

though it was simultaneously with this that I became aware

of having Mrs。 Grose also; and very formidably; to reckon with。

My elder companion; the next moment; at any rate; blotted out

everything but her own flushed face and her loud; shocked protest;

a burst of high disapproval。  〃What a dreadful turn;

to be sure; miss!  Where on earth do you see anything?〃



I could only grasp her more quickly yet; for even while she

spoke the hideous plain presence stood undimmed and undaunted。

It had already lasted a minute; and it lasted while I continued;

seizing my colleague; quite thrusting her at it and presenting her to it;

to insist with my pointing hand。  〃You don't see her exactly as WE see?

you mean to say you don't nowNOW? She's as big as a blazing fire!

Only look; dearest woman; LOOK!〃 She looked; even as I did;

and gave me; with her deep groan of negation; repulsion; compassion

the mixture with her pity of her relief at her exemptiona sense;

touching to me even then; that she would have backed me up if she could。

I might well have needed that; for with this hard blow of the proof that

her eyes were hopelessly sealed I felt my own situation horribly crumble;

I feltI sawmy livid predecessor press; from her position; on my defeat;

and I was conscious; more than all; of what I should have from this

instant to deal with in the astounding little attitude of Flora。

Into this attitude Mrs。 Grose immediately and violently entered;

breaking; even while there pierced through my sense of ruin a prodigious

private triumph; into breathless reassurance。



〃She isn't there; little lady; and nobody's thereand you never see nothing;

my sweet!  How can poor Miss Jesselwhen poor Miss Jessel's dead and buried?

WE know; don't we; love?and she appealed; blundering in; to the child。

〃It's all a mere mistake and a worry and a jokeand we'll go home as fast

as we can!〃



Our companion; on this; had responded with a strange;

quick primness of propriety; and they were again; with Mrs。 Grose

on her feet; united; as it were; in pained opposition to me。

Flora continued to fix me with her small mask of reprobation;

and even at that minute I prayed God to forgive me for seeming

to see that; as she stood there holding tight to our friend's dress;

her incomparable childish beauty had suddenly failed;

had quite vanished。  I've said it alreadyshe was literally;

she was hideously; hard; she had turned common and almost ugly。

〃I don't know what you mean。  I see nobody。  I see nothing。

I never HAVE。  I think you're cruel。  I don't like you!〃

Then; after this deliverance; which might have been that of a

vulgarly pert little girl in the street; she hugged Mrs。 Grose

more closely and buried in her skirts the dreadful little face。

In this position she produced an almost furious wail。

〃Take me away; take me awayoh; take me away from HER!〃



〃From ME?〃 I panted。



〃From youfrom you!〃 she cried。



Even Mrs。 Grose looked across at me dismayed; while I had

nothing to do but communicate again with the figure that;

on the opposite bank; without a movement; as rigidly still

as if catching; beyond the interval; our voices; was as vividly

there for my disaster as it was not there for my service。

The wretched child had spoken exactly as if she had got from

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