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I made her turn pale。 〃Intention？〃
〃To get hold of her。〃 Mrs。 Groseher eyes just lingering
on minegave a shudder and walked to the window；
and while she stood there looking out I completed my statement。
〃THAT'S what Flora knows。〃
After a little she turned round。 〃The person was in black； you say？〃
〃In mourningrather poor； almost shabby。 Butyeswith
extraordinary beauty。〃 I now recognized to what I had at last；
stroke by stroke； brought the victim of my confidence； for she quite
visibly weighed this。 〃Oh； handsomevery； very；〃 I insisted；
〃wonderfully handsome。 But infamous。〃
She slowly came back to me。 〃Miss JesselWAS infamous。〃
She once more took my hand in both her own； holding it
as tight as if to fortify me against the increase of alarm I
might draw from this disclosure。 〃They were both infamous；〃
she finally said。
So； for a little； we faced it once more together； and I found absolutely
a degree of help in seeing it now so straight。 〃I appreciate；〃
I said； 〃the great decency of your not having hitherto spoken；
but the time has certainly come to give me the whole thing。〃
She appeared to assent to this； but still only in silence；
seeing which I went on： 〃I must have it now。 Of what did she die？
Come； there was something between them。〃
〃There was everything。〃
〃In spite of the difference？〃
〃Oh； of their rank； their condition〃she brought it woefully out。
〃SHE was a lady。〃
I turned it over； I again saw。 〃Yesshe was a lady。〃
〃And he so dreadfully below；〃 said Mrs。 Grose。
I felt that I doubtless needn't press too hard； in such company；
on the place of a servant in the scale； but there was nothing to prevent
an acceptance of my companion's own measure of my predecessor's abasement。
There was a way to deal with that； and I dealt； the more readily
for my full visionon the evidenceof our employer's late clever；
good…looking 〃own〃 man； impudent； assured； spoiled； depraved。
〃The fellow was a hound。〃
Mrs。 Grose considered as if it were perhaps a little a case
for a sense of shades。 〃I've never seen one like him。
He did what he wished。〃
〃With HER？〃
〃With them all。〃
It was as if now in my friend's own eyes Miss Jessel had again appeared。
I seemed at any rate； for an instant； to see their evocation of her as
distinctly as I had seen her by the pond； and I brought out with decision：
〃It must have been also what SHE wished！〃
Mrs。 Grose's face signified that it had been indeed； but she said
at the same time： 〃Poor womanshe paid for it！〃
〃Then you do know what she died of？〃 I asked。
〃NoI know nothing。 I wanted not to know； I was glad enough I didn't；
and I thanked heaven she was well out of this！〃
〃Yet you had； then； your idea〃
〃Of her real reason for leaving？ Oh； yesas to that。
She couldn't have stayed。 Fancy it herefor a governess！
And afterward I imaginedand I still imagine。 And what I
imagine is dreadful。〃
〃Not so dreadful as what _I_ do；〃 I replied； on which I must
have shown heras I was indeed but too consciousa front of
miserable defeat。 It brought out again all her compassion for me；
and at the renewed touch of her kindness my power to resist broke down。
I burst； as I had； the other time； made her burst； into tears；
she took me to her motherly breast； and my lamentation overflowed。
〃I don't do it！〃 I sobbed in despair； 〃I don't save or shield them！
It's far worse than I dreamedthey're lost！〃
VIII
What I had said to Mrs。 Grose was true enough： there were in the matter I
had put before her depths and possibilities that I lacked resolution to sound；
so that when we met once more in the wonder of it we were of a common mind
about the duty of resistance to extravagant fancies。 We were to keep our
heads if we should keep nothing elsedifficult indeed as that might be in
the face of what； in our prodigious experience； was least to be questioned。
Late that night； while the house slept； we had another talk in my room；
when she went all the way with me as to its being beyond doubt that I
had seen exactly what I had seen。 To hold her perfectly in the pinch
of that； I found I had only to ask her how； if I had 〃made it up；〃
I came to be able to give； of each of the persons appearing to me；
a picture disclosing； to the last detail； their special marksa portrait
on the exhibition of which she had instantly recognized and named them。
She wished of coursesmall blame to her！to sink the whole subject；
and I was quick to assure her that my own interest in it had now
violently taken the form of a search for the way to escape from it。
I encountered her on the ground of a probability that with recurrence
for recurrence we took for grantedI should get used to my danger；
distinctly professing that my personal exposure had suddenly become
the least of my discomforts。 It was my new suspicion that was intolerable；
and yet even to this complication the later hours of the day had brought
a little ease。
On leaving her； after my first outbreak； I had of course returned
to my pupils； associating the right remedy for my dismay with
that sense of their charm which I had already found to be a thing
I could positively cultivate and which had never failed me yet。
I had simply； in other words； plunged afresh into Flora's
special society and there become awareit was almost a luxury！
that she could put her little conscious hand straight upon
the spot that ached。 She had looked at me in sweet speculation
and then had accused me to my face of having 〃cried。〃
I had supposed I had brushed away the ugly signs： but I
could literallyfor the time； at all eventsrejoice； under this
fathomless charity； that they had not entirely disappeared。
To gaze into the depths of blue of the child's eyes and pronounce
their loveliness a trick of premature cunning was to be guilty
of a cynicism in preference to which I naturally preferred
to abjure my judgment and； so far as might be； my agitation。
I couldn't abjure for merely wanting to； but I could repeat
to Mrs。 Groseas I did there； over and over； in the small hours
that with their voices in the air； their pressure on one's heart；
and their fragrant faces against one's cheek； everything fell
to the ground but their incapacity and their beauty。
It was a pity that； somehow； to settle this once for all；
I had equally to re…enumerate the signs of subtlety that；
in the afternoon； by the lake had made a miracle of my show
of self…possession。 It was a pity to be obliged to reinvestigate
the certitude of the moment itself and repeat how it had come
to me as a revelation that the inconceivable communion I
then surprised was a matter； for either party； of habit。
It was a pity that I should have had to quaver out again
the reasons for my not having； in my delusion； so much
as questioned that the little girl saw our visitant even
as I actually saw Mrs。 Gros