按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
〃He wouldn't be bothered with more？〃 This squared well enough
with my impressions of him： he was not a trouble…loving gentleman；
nor so very particular perhaps about some of the company HE kept。
All the same； I pressed my interlocutress。 〃I promise you _I_
would have told！〃
She felt my discrimination。 〃I daresay I was wrong。
But； really； I was afraid。〃
〃Afraid of what？〃
〃Of things that man could do。 Quint was so cleverhe was so deep。〃
I took this in still more than； probably； I showed。
〃You weren't afraid of anything else？ Not of his effect？〃
〃His effect？〃 she repeated with a face of anguish and waiting
while I faltered。
〃On innocent little precious lives。 They were in your charge。〃
〃No； they were not in mine！〃 she roundly and distressfully returned。
〃The master believed in him and placed him here because he was
supposed not to be well and the country air so good for him。
So he had everything to say。 Yes〃she let me have it〃even
about THEM。〃
〃Themthat creature？〃 I had to smother a kind of howl。
〃And you could bear it！〃
〃No。 I couldn'tand I can't now！〃 And the poor woman burst into tears。
A rigid control； from the next day； was； as I have said； to follow them；
yet how often and how passionately； for a week； we came back together
to the subject！ Much as we had discussed it that Sunday night； I was；
in the immediate later hours in especialfor it may be imagined whether
I sleptstill haunted with the shadow of something she had not told me。
I myself had kept back nothing； but there was a word Mrs。 Grose had
kept back。 I was sure； moreover； by morning； that this was not from
a failure of frankness； but because on every side there were fears。
It seems to me indeed； in retrospect； that by the time the morrow's sun
was high I had restlessly read into the fact before us almost all the
meaning they were to receive from subsequent and more cruel occurrences。
What they gave me above all was just the sinister figure of the living man
the dead one would keep awhile！and of the months he had continuously
passed at Bly； which； added up； made a formidable stretch。
The limit of this evil time had arrived only when； on the dawn of a
winter's morning； Peter Quint was found； by a laborer going to early work；
stone dead on the road from the village： a catastrophe explained
superficially at leastby a visible wound to his head； such a wound
as might have been producedand as； on the final evidence； HAD been
by a fatal slip； in the dark and after leaving the public house；
on the steepish icy slope； a wrong path altogether； at the bottom of
which he lay。 The icy slope； the turn mistaken at night and in liquor；
accounted for muchpractically； in the end and after the inquest and
boundless chatter； for everything； but there had been matters in his life
strange passages and perils； secret disorders； vices more than suspected
that would have accounted for a good deal more。
I scarce know how to put my story into words that shall be
a credible picture of my state of mind； but I was in these days
literally able to find a joy in the extraordinary flight of
heroism the occasion demanded of me。 I now saw that I had been
asked for a service admirable and difficult； and there would
be a greatness in letting it be seenoh； in the right quarter！
that I could succeed where many another girl might have failed。
It was an immense help to meI confess I rather applaud myself
as I look back！that I saw my service so strongly and so simply。
I was there to protect and defend the little creatures in
the world the most bereaved and the most lovable； the appeal
of whose helplessness had suddenly become only too explicit；
a deep； constant ache of one's own committed heart。
We were cut off； really； together； we were united in our danger。
They had nothing but me； and Iwell； I had THEM。 It
was in short a magnificent chance。 This chance presented
itself to me in an image richly material。 I was a screen
I was to stand before them。 The more I saw； the less they would。
I began to watch them in a stifled suspense； a disguised
excitement that might well； had it continued too long；
have turned to something like madness。 What saved me；
as I now see； was that it turned to something else altogether。
It didn't last as suspenseit was superseded by horrible proofs。
Proofs； I say； yesfrom the moment I really took hold。
This moment dated from an afternoon hour that I happened
to spend in the grounds with the younger of my pupils alone。
We had left Miles indoors； on the red cushion of a deep
window seat； he had wished to finish a book； and I had been
glad to encourage a purpose so laudable in a young man whose
only defect was an occasional excess of the restless。
His sister； on the contrary； had been alert to come out；
and I strolled with her half an hour； seeking the shade；
for the sun was still high and the day exceptionally warm。
I was aware afresh； with her； as we went； of how；
like her brother； she contrivedit was the charming thing
in both childrento let me alone without appearing to drop
me and to accompany me without appearing to surround。
They were never importunate and yet never listless。
My attention to them all really went to seeing them amuse
themselves immensely without me： this was a spectacle they seemed
actively to prepare and that engaged me as an active admirer。
I walked in a world of their inventionthey had no occasion whatever
to draw upon mine； so that my time was taken only with being；
for them； some remarkable person or thing that the game of
the moment required and that was merely； thanks to my superior；
my exalted stamp； a happy and highly distinguished sinecure。
I forget what I was on the present occasion； I only remember
that I was something very important and very quiet and that Flora
was playing very hard。 We were on the edge of the lake； and； as we
had lately begun geography； the lake was the Sea of Azof。
Suddenly； in these circumstances； I became aware that； on the
other side of the Sea of Azof； we had an interested spectator。
The way this knowledge gathered in me was the strangest thing
in the worldthe strangest； that is； except the very much
stranger in which it quickly merged itself。 I had sat down with
a piece of workfor I was something or other that could sit
on the old stone bench which overlooked the pond； and in this
position I began to take in with certitude； and yet without
direct vision； the presence； at a distance； of a third person。
The old trees； the thick shrubbery； made a great and pleasant shade；
but it was all suffused with the brightness of the hot； still hour。
There was no ambiguity in anything； none whatever； at least；
in the conviction I from one moment to another found myself
forming as to what I should see straight before me and across
the lake as a consequence of raising my eyes。 They were attached
at this juncture to the stitching in which