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the narrative of the life-第29章

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slavery。  It would afford me great pleasure indeed;

as well as materially add to the interest of my nar…

rative; were I at liberty to gratify a curiosity; which

I know exists in the minds of many; by an accurate

statement of all the facts pertaining to my most

fortunate escape。  But I must deprive myself of this

pleasure; and the curious of the gratification which

such a statement would afford。  I would allow my…

self to suffer under the greatest imputations which

evil…minded men might suggest; rather than excul…

pate myself; and thereby run the hazard of closing

the slightest avenue by which a brother slave might

clear himself of the chains and fetters of slavery。

 

  I have never approved of the very public manner

in which some of our western friends have conducted

what they call the ~underground railroad;~ but which

I think; by their open declarations; has been made

most emphatically the ~upperground railroad。~  I honor

those good men and women for their noble daring;

and applaud them for willingly subjecting them…

selves to bloody persecution; by openly avowing their

participation in the escape of slaves。  I; however; can

see very little good resulting from such a course;

either to themselves or the slaves escaping; while;

upon the other hand; I see and feel assured that

those open declarations are a positive evil to the

slaves remaining; who are seeking to escape。  They

do nothing towards enlightening the slave; whilst

they do much towards enlightening the master。

They stimulate him to greater watchfulness; and

enhance his power to capture his slave。  We owe

something to the slave south of the line as well as

to those north of it; and in aiding the latter on their

way to freedom; we should be careful to do nothing

which would be likely to hinder the former from

escaping from slavery。  I would keep the merciless

slaveholder profoundly ignorant of the means of

flight adopted by the slave。  I would leave him to

imagine himself surrounded by myriads of invisible

tormentors; ever ready to snatch from his infernal

grasp his trembling prey。  Let him be left to feel

his way in the dark; let darkness commensurate with

his crime hover over him; and let him feel that at

every step he takes; in pursuit of the flying bondman;

he is running the frightful risk of having his hot

brains dashed out by an invisible agency。  Let us

render the tyrant no aid; let us not hold the light

by which he can trace the footprints of our flying

brother。  But enough of this。  I will now proceed to

the statement of those facts; connected with my

escape; for which I am alone responsible; and for

which no one can be made to suffer but myself。

 

  In the early part of the year 1838; I became quite

restless。  I could see no reason why I should; at the

end of each week; pour the reward of my toil into

the purse of my master。  When I carried to him my

weekly wages; he would; after counting the money;

look me in the face with a robber…like fierceness;

and ask; 〃Is this all?〃  He was satisfied with nothing

less than the last cent。  He would; however; when I

made him six dollars; sometimes give me six cents;

to encourage me。  It had the opposite effect。  I re…

garded it as a sort of admission of my right to the

whole。  The fact that he gave me any part of my

wages was proof; to my mind; that he believed me

entitled to the whole of them。  I always felt worse

for having received any thing; for I feared that the

giving me a few cents would ease his conscience;

and make him feel himself to be a pretty honorable

sort of robber。  My discontent grew upon me。  I was

ever on the look…out for means of escape; and; find…

ing no direct means; I determined to try to hire my

time; with a view of getting money with which to

make my escape。  In the spring of 1838; when Master

Thomas came to Baltimore to purchase his spring

goods; I got an opportunity; and applied to him to

allow me to hire my time。  He unhesitatingly refused

my request; and told me this was another stratagem

by which to escape。  He told me I could go nowhere

but that he could get me; and that; in the event

of my running away; he should spare no pains in his

efforts to catch me。  He exhorted me to content

myself; and be obedient。  He told me; if I would

be happy; I must lay out no plans for the future。

He said; if I behaved myself properly; he would take

care of me。  Indeed; he advised me to complete

thoughtlessness of the future; and taught me to de…

pend solely upon him for happiness。  He seemed to

see fully the pressing necessity of setting aside my

intellectual nature; in order to contentment in

slavery。  But in spite of him; and even in spite of

myself; I continued to think; and to think about

the injustice of my enslavement; and the means of

escape。

 

  About two months after this; I applied to Master

Hugh for the privilege of hiring my time。  He was

not acquainted with the fact that I had applied to

Master Thomas; and had been refused。  He too; at

first; seemed disposed to refuse; but; after some re…

flection; he granted me the privilege; and proposed

the following terms: I was to be allowed all my

time; make all contracts with those for whom I

worked; and find my own employment; and; in re…

turn for this liberty; I was to pay him three dollars

at the end of each week; find myself in calking tools;

and in board and clothing。  My board was two dol…

lars and a half per week。  This; with the wear and

tear of clothing and calking tools; made my regular

expenses about six dollars per week。  This amount

I was compelled to make up; or relinquish the

privilege of hiring my time。  Rain or shine; work or

no work; at the end of each week the money must

be forthcoming; or I must give up my privilege。  This

arrangement; it will be perceived; was decidedly in

my master's favor。  It relieved him of all need of

looking after me。  His money was sure。  He received

all the benefits of slaveholding without its evils;

while I endured all the evils of a slave; and suffered

all the care and anxiety of a freeman。  I found it a

hard bargain。  But; hard as it was; I thought it better

than the old mode of getting along。  It was a step

towards freedom to be allowed to bear the respon…

sibilities of a freeman; and I was determined to hold

on upon it。  I bent myself to the work of making

money。  I was ready to work at night as well as day;

and by the most untiring perseverance and industry;

I made enough to meet my expenses; and lay up

a little money every week。  I went on thus from May

till August。  Master Hugh then refused to allow me

to hire my time longer。  The ground for his refusal

was a failure on my part; one Saturday night; to pay

him for my week's time。  This failure was occasioned

by my attending a camp meeting about ten miles

from Baltimore。  During the week; I had entered

into an engagement with a number of young friends
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