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under some large tree。 At times I would rise up; a
flash of energetic freedom would dart through my
soul; accompanied with a faint beam of hope; that
flickered for a moment; and then vanished。 I sank
down again; mourning over my wretched condition。
I was sometimes prompted to take my life; and that
of Covey; but was prevented by a combination of
hope and fear。 My sufferings on this plantation seem
now like a dream rather than a stern reality。
Our house stood within a few rods of the Chesa…
peake Bay; whose broad bosom was ever white with
sails from every quarter of the habitable globe。
Those beautiful vessels; robed in purest white; so
delightful to the eye of freemen; were to me so
many shrouded ghosts; to terrify and torment me
with thoughts of my wretched condition。 I have of…
ten; in the deep stillness of a summer's Sabbath;
stood all alone upon the lofty banks of that noble
bay; and traced; with saddened heart and tearful
eye; the countless number of sails moving off to
the mighty ocean。 The sight of these always affected
me powerfully。 My thoughts would compel utter…
ance; and there; with no audience but the Almighty;
I would pour out my soul's complaint; in my rude
way; with an apostrophe to the moving multitude of
ships:
〃You are loosed from your moorings; and are free;
I am fast in my chains; and am a slave! You move
merrily before the gentle gale; and I sadly before
the bloody whip! You are freedom's swift…winged
angels; that fly round the world; I am confined in
bands of iron! O that I were free! O; that I were
on one of your gallant decks; and under your pro…
tecting wing! Alas! betwixt me and you; the turbid
waters roll。 Go on; go on。 O that I could also go!
Could I but swim! If I could fly! O; why was I born
a man; of whom to make a brute! The glad ship
is gone; she hides in the dim distance。 I am left in
the hottest hell of unending slavery。 O God; save
me! God; deliver me! Let me be free! Is there any
God? Why am I a slave? I will run away。 I will not
stand it。 Get caught; or get clear; I'll try it。 I had
as well die with ague as the fever。 I have only one
life to lose。 I had as well be killed running as die
standing。 Only think of it; one hundred miles
straight north; and I am free! Try it? Yes! God
helping me; I will。 It cannot be that I shall live
and die a slave。 I will take to the water。 This very
bay shall yet bear me into freedom。 The steam…
boats steered in a north…east course from North
Point。 I will do the same; and when I get to the
head of the bay; I will turn my canoe adrift; and
walk straight through Delaware into Pennsylvania。
When I get there; I shall not be required to have a
pass; I can travel without being disturbed。 Let but
the first opportunity offer; and; come what will; I
am off。 Meanwhile; I will try to bear up under the
yoke。 I am not the only slave in the world。 Why
should I fret? I can bear as much as any of them。
Besides; I am but a boy; and all boys are bound to
some one。 It may be that my misery in slavery will
only increase my happiness when I get free。 There
is a better day coming。〃
Thus I used to think; and thus I used to speak
to myself; goaded almost to madness at one mo…
ment; and at the next reconciling myself to my
wretched lot。
I have already intimated that my condition was
much worse; during the first six months of my stay
at Mr。 Covey's; than in the last six。 The circum…
stances leading to the change in Mr。 Covey's course
toward me form an epoch in my humble history。
You have seen how a man was made a slave; you
shall see how a slave was made a man。 On one of
the hottest days of the month of August; 1833; Bill
Smith; William Hughes; a slave named Eli; and
myself; were engaged in fanning wheat。 Hughes was
clearing the fanned wheat from before the fan。 Eli
was turning; Smith was feeding; and I was carrying
wheat to the fan。 The work was simple; requiring
strength rather than intellect; yet; to one entirely
unused to such work; it came very hard。 About three
o'clock of that day; I broke down; my strength failed
me; I was seized with a violent aching of the head;
attended with extreme dizziness; I trembled in every
limb。 Finding what was coming; I nerved myself
up; feeling it would never do to stop work。 I stood
as long as I could stagger to the hopper with grain。
When I could stand no longer; I fell; and felt as
if held down by an immense weight。 The fan of
course stopped; every one had his own work to do;
and no one could do the work of the other; and
have his own go on at the same time。
Mr。 Covey was at the house; about one hundred
yards from the treading…yard where we were fanning。
On hearing the fan stop; he left immediately; and
came to the spot where we were。 He hastily in…
quired what the matter was。 Bill answered that I
was sick; and there was no one to bring wheat to the
fan。 I had by this time crawled away under the
side of the post and rail…fence by which the yard
was enclosed; hoping to find relief by getting out
of the sun。 He then asked where I was。 He was
told by one of the hands。 He came to the spot; and;
after looking at me awhile; asked me what was
the matter。 I told him as well as I could; for I scarce
had strength to speak。 He then gave me a savage
kick in the side; and told me to get up。 I tried to
do so; but fell back in the attempt。 He gave me
another kick; and again told me to rise。 I again
tried; and succeeded in gaining my feet; but; stoop…
ing to get the tub with which I was feeding the
fan; I again staggered and fell。 While down in this
situation; Mr。 Covey took up the hickory slat with
which Hughes had been striking off the half…bushel
measure; and with it gave me a heavy blow upon
the head; making a large wound; and the blood ran
freely; and with this again told me to get up。 I made
no effort to comply; having now made up my mind
to let him do his worst。 In a short time after re…
ceiving this blow; my head grew better。 Mr。 Covey
had now left me to my fate。 At this moment I re…
solved; for the first time; to go to my master; enter
a complaint; and ask his protection。 In order to do
this; I must that afternoon walk seven miles; and
this; under the circumstances; was truly a severe
undertaking。 I was exceedingly feeble; made so as
much by the kicks and blows which I received; as
by the severe fit of sickness to which I had been
subjected。 I; however; watched my chance; while
Covey was looking in an opposite direction; and
started for St。 Michael's。 I succeeded in getting a
considerable distance on my way to the woods; when
Covey discovered me; and called after me to come
back; threatening what he would do if I did not
come。 I disregarded both his calls and his threats;
and made my way to the woods as fast as my feeble
state would allow; an