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I discovered it was the temperature。
I have brought a barrel of sorghum to this audience。 The name of the sorghum is 〃The University of Hard Knocks。〃 I can only pull the plug。 I cannot make it run。 That will depend upon the temperature of this audience。 You can have all you want of it； but to get it to running freely； you will have to warm up。
Did You Bring a Bucket？
No matter how the sorghum runs； you have to have a bucket to get it。 How much any one gets out of a lecture depends also upon the size of the bucket he brings to get it in。 A big bucket can get filled at a very small stream。 A little bucket gets little at the greatest stream。 With no bucket you can get nothing at Niagara。
That often explains why one person says a lecture is great； while the next person says he got nothing out of it。
What It's All About
Here is a great mass of words and sentences and pictures to express two or three simple little ideas of life； that our education is our growing up from the Finite to the Infinite； and that it is done by our own personal overcoming； and that we never finish it。
Have you noticed that no sentence； nor a million sentences； can bound life？ Have you noticed that every statement does not quite cover it？ No statement； no library； can tell all about life。 No success rule can alone solve the problem。 You must average it all and struggle up to a higher vision。
We are told that the stomach needs bulk as well as nutriment。 It would not prosper with the necessary elements in their condensed form。 So abstract truths in their lowest terms do not always promote mental digestion like more bulk in the way of pictures and discussions of these truths。 Here is bulk as well as nutriment。
If you get the feeling that the first personal pronoun is being overworked； I remind you that this is more a confession than a lecture。 You cannot confess without referring to the confesser。
To Everybody in My Audience
I like you because I am like you。
I believe in you because I believe in myself。 We are all one family。 I believe in your Inside； not in your Outside； whoever you are； whatever you are； wherever you are。
I believe in the Angel of Good inside every block of human marble。 I believe it must be carved out in The University of Hard Knocks。
I believe all this pride； vanity； selfishness； self…righteousness； hypocrisy and human frailty are the Outside that must be chipped away。
I believe the Hard Knocks cannot injure the Angel； but can only reveal it。
I hope you are getting your Hard Knocks。
I care little about your glorious or inglorious past。 I care little about your present。 I care much about your future for that is to see more of the Angel in you。
The University of Hard Knocks
Chapter I
The Books Are Bumps
THE greatest school is the University of Hard Knocks。 Its books are bumps。
Every bump is a lesson。 If we learn the lesson with one bump； we do not get that bump again。 We do not need it。 We have traveled past it。 They do not waste the bumps。 We get promoted to the next bump。
But if we are 〃naturally bright；〃 or there is something else the matter with us； so that we do not learn the lesson of the bump we have just gotten； then that bump must come back and bump us again。
Some of us learn to go forward with a few bumps； but most of us are 〃naturally bright〃 and have to be pulverized。
The tuition in the University of Hard Knocks is not free。 Experience is the dearest teacher in the world。 Most of us spend our lives in the A…B…C's of getting started。
We matriculate in the cradle。
We never graduate。 When we stop learning we are due for another bump。
There are two kinds of peoplewise people and fools。 The fools are the people who think they have graduated。
The playground is all of God's universe。
The university colors are black and blue。
The yell is 〃ouch〃 repeated ad lib。
The Need of the Bumps
When I was thirteen I knew a great deal more than I do now。 There was a sentence in my grammar that disgusted me。 It was by some foreigner I had never met。 His name was Shakespeare。 It was this：
〃Sweet are the uses of adversity； Which； like the toad； ugly and venomous； Wears yet a priceless jewel in its head； And thus our life； exempt from public haunt； Finds tongues in trees； books in running brooks； Sermons in stones； and good in everything。〃
〃Tongues in trees；〃 I thought。 〃Trees can't talk！ That man is crazy。 Books in running brooks！ Why nobody never puts no books in no running brooks。 They'd get wet。 And that sermons in stones！ They get preachers to preach sermons； and they build houses out of stones。〃
I was sorry for Shakespearewhen I was thirteen。
But I am happy today that I have traveled a little farther。 I am happy that I have begun to learn the lessons from the bumps。 I am happy that I am learning the sweet tho painful lessons of the University of Adversity。 I am happy that I am beginning to listen。 For as I learn to listen； I hear every tree speaking； every stone preaching and every running brook the unfolding of a book。
Children； I fear you will not be greatly interested in what is to follow。 Perhaps you are 〃naturally bright〃 and feel sorry for Shakespeare。
I was not interested when father and mother told me these things。 I knew they meant all right； but the world had moved since they were young； and now two and two made seven； because we lived so much faster。
It is so hard to tell young people anything。 They know better。 So they have to get bumped just where we got bumped； to learn that two and two always makes four； and 〃whatsoever a man soweth； that shall he also reap。〃
But if you will remember some of these things； they will feel like poultices by and by when the bumps come。
The Two Colleges
As we get bumped and battered on life's pathway； we discover we get two kinds of bumpsbumps that we need and bumps that we do not need。
Bumps that we bump into and bumps that bump into us。
We discover； in other words； that The University of Hard Knocks has two collegesThe College of Needless Knocks and The College of Needful Knocks。
We attend both colleges。
Chapter II
The College of Needless Knocks
The Bumps That We Bump Into
NEARLY all the bumps we get are Needless Knocks。
There comes a vivid memory of one of my early Needless Knocks as I say that。 It was back at the time when I was trying to run our home to suit myself。 I sat in the highest chair in the family circle。 I was three years old and ready to graduate。
That day they had the little joy and sunshine of the family in his high…chair throne right up beside the dinner table。 The coffee…pot was within grabbing distance。
I became enamored with that coffee…pot。 I decided I needed that coffee…pot in my business。 I reached over to get the coffee…pot。 Then I discovered a woman beside me； my mother。 She was the most meddlesome woman I had ever known。 I had not tried to do one thing in three years that that woman had not meddled into。
And that day when I wanted the coffee…potI did want it。 Nobody knows how I desired that coffee…pot。 〃One thing thou lackest；〃 a coffee…pot I was re