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the throne。 It is a sight sometimes seen； and it is both
ludicrous and pitiable； when an honest man of plain common sense
is surprised； by the coquetry of a pretty woman； or any other
cause； into those frivolous fopperies which only sit well upon
the youthful； the gay； and those to whom long practice has
rendered them a second nature。 Poor Blount was in this
situation。 His head was already giddy from a consciousness of
unusual finery； and the supposed necessity of suiting his manners
to the gaiety of his dress； and now this sudden view of promotion
altogether completed the conquest of the newly inhaled spirit of
foppery over his natural disposition； and converted a plain；
honest； awkward man into a coxcomb of a new and most ridiculous
kind。
The knight…expectant advanced up the hall； the whole length of
which he had unfortunately to traverse； turning out his toes with
so much zeal that he presented his leg at every step with its
broadside foremost； so that it greatly resembled an old…fashioned
table…knife with a curved point； when seen sideways。 The rest of
his gait was in proportion to this unhappy amble； and the implied
mixture of bashful rear and self…satisfaction was so unutterably
ridiculous that Leicester's friends did not suppress a titter； in
which many of Sussex's partisans were unable to resist joining；
though ready to eat their nails with mortification。 Sussex
himself lost all patience； and could not forbear whispering into
the ear of his friend； 〃Curse thee！ canst thou not walk like a
man and a soldier？〃 an interjection which only made honest
Blount start and stop； until a glance at his yellow roses and
crimson stockings restored his self…confidence； when on he went
at the same pace as before。
The Queen conferred on poor Blount the honour of knighthood with
a marked sense of reluctance。 That wise Princess was fully aware
of the propriety of using great circumspection and economy in
bestowing those titles of honour； which the Stewarts； who
succeeded to her throne； distributed with an imprudent liberality
which greatly diminished their value。 Blount had no sooner
arisen and retired than she turned to the Duchess of Rutland。
〃Our woman wit；〃 she said； 〃dear Rutland； is sharper than that of
those proud things in doublet and hose。 Seest thou； out of these
three knights； thine is the only true metal to stamp chivalry's
imprint upon？〃
〃Sir Richard Varney； surelythe friend of my Lord of Leicester
surely he has merit；〃 replied the Duchess。
〃Varney has a sly countenance and a smooth tongue；〃 replied the
Queen； 〃I fear me he will prove a knave。 But the promise was of
ancient standing。 My Lord of Sussex must have lost his own wits；
I think； to recommend to us first a madman like Tressilian； and
then a clownish fool like this other fellow。 I protest； Rutland；
that while he sat on his knees before me； mopping and mowing as
if he had scalding porridge in his mouth； I had much ado to
forbear cutting him over the pate； instead of striking his
shoulder。〃
〃Your Majesty gave him a smart ACCOLADE；〃 said the Duchess； 〃we
who stood behind heard the blade clatter on his collar…bone； and
the poor man fidgeted too as if he felt it。〃
〃I could not help it； wench；〃 said the Queen； laughing。 〃But we
will have this same Sir Nicholas sent to Ireland or Scotland； or
somewhere； to rid our court of so antic a chevalier； he may be a
good soldier in the field； though a preposterous ass in a
banqueting…hall。〃
The discourse became then more general； and soon after there was
a summons to the banquet。
In order to obey this signal； the company were under the
necessity of crossing the inner court of the Castle； that they
might reach the new buildings containing the large banqueting…
room； in which preparations for supper were made upon a scale of
profuse magnificence； corresponding to the occasion。
The livery cupboards were loaded with plate of the richest
description； and the most variedsome articles tasteful； some
perhaps grotesque； in the invention and decoration； but all
gorgeously magnificent； both from the richness of the work and
value of the materials。 Thus the chief table was adorned by a
salt； ship…fashion； made of mother…of…pearl； garnished with
silver and divers warlike ensigns and other ornaments； anchors；
sails； and sixteen pieces of ordnance。 It bore a figure of
Fortune； placed on a globe； with a flag in her hand。 Another
salt was fashioned of silver； in form of a swan in full sail。
That chivalry might not be omitted amid this splendour； a silver
Saint George was presented； mounted and equipped in the usual
fashion in which he bestrides the dragon。 The figures were
moulded to be in some sort useful。 The horse's tail was managed
to hold a case of knives； while the breast of the dragon
presented a similar accommodation for oyster knives；
In the course of the passage from the hall of reception to the
banqueting…room； and especially in the courtyard； the new…made
knights were assailed by the heralds； pursuivants； minstrels；
etc。； with the usual cry of LARGESSE； LARGESSE； CHEVALIERS TRES
HARDIS！ an ancient invocation； intended to awaken the bounty of
the acolytes of chivalry towards those whose business it was to
register their armorial bearings； and celebrate the deeds by
which they were illustrated。 The call was； of course； liberally
and courteously answered by those to whom it was addressed。
Varney gave his largesse with an affectation of complaisance and
humility。 Raleigh bestowed his with the graceful ease peculiar
to one who has attained his own place； and is familiar with its
dignity。 Honest Blount gave what his tailor had left him of his
half…year's rent； dropping some pieces in his hurry； then
stooping down to look for them； and then distributing them
amongst the various claimants； with the anxious face and mien of
the parish beadle dividing a dole among paupers。
The donations were accepted with the usual clamour and VIVATS of
applause common on such occasions； but as the parties gratified
were chiefly dependants of Lord Leicester； it was Varney whose
name was repeated with the loudest acclamations。 Lambourne；
especially； distinguished himself by his vociferations of 〃Long
life to Sir Richard Varney！Health and honour to Sir Richard！
Never was a more worthy knight dubbed！〃then； suddenly sinking
his voice； he added〃since the valiant Sir Pandarus of Troy；〃a
winding…up of his clamorous applause which set all men a…laughing
who were within hearing of it。
It is unnecessary to say anything further of the festivities of
the evening； which were so brilliant in themselves； and received
with such obvious and willing satisfaction by the Queen； that
Leicester retired to his own apartment with all the giddy
raptures of successful ambition。 Varney； who had changed his
splendid attire； and now waited on his patron in a very modest
and plain undress； attended to do the honours of the Earl's
COUCHER。
〃How！ Sir Richard；〃 said Leicester； smiling； 〃your new rank
scarce suits the humility of this attendance。〃
〃I would disown that rank； my Lord；〃 said Varney； 〃could I think
it was to remove me t