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confirmed by the subsequent behaviour of the bashful young gentleman in
question； which we noted particularly； with the view of ascertaining
whether we were right in our conjecture。
The young gentleman seated himself at table with evident misgivings；
and turning sharp round to pay attention to some observation of his
loquacious neighbour； overset his bread。 There was nothing very bad in
this； and if he had had the presence of mind to let it go； and say nothing
about it； nobody but the man who had laid the cloth would have been a bit
the wiser； but the young gentleman in various semi…successful attempts to
prevent its fall； played with it a little； as gentlemen in the streets may be
seen to do with their hats on a windy day； and then giving the roll a smart
rap in his anxiety to catch it； knocked it with great adroitness into a tureen
of white soup at some distance； to the unspeakable terror and disturbance
of a very amiable bald gentleman； who was dispensing the contents。 We
thought the bashful young gentleman would have gone off in an apoplectic
fit； consequent upon the violent rush of blood to his face at the occurrence
of this catastrophe。
From this moment we perceived； in the phraseology of the fancy； that
it was 'all up' with the bashful young gentleman； and so indeed it was。
Several benevolent persons endeavoured to relieve his embarrassment by
taking wine with him； but finding that it only augmented his sufferings；
and that after mingling sherry； champagne； hock； and moselle together； he
applied the greater part of the mixture externally； instead of internally； they
gradually dropped off； and left him to the exclusive care of the talkative
lady； who； not noting the wildness of his eye； firmly believed she had
secured a listener。 He broke a glass or two in the course of the meal； and
disappeared shortly afterwards； it is inferred that he went away in some
confusion； inasmuch as he left the house in another gentleman's coat； and
the footman's hat。
This little incident led us to reflect upon the most prominent
characteristics of bashful young gentlemen in the abstract； and as this
portable volume will be the great text…book of young ladies in all future
generations； we record them here for their guidance and behoof。
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SKETCHES OF YOUNG GENTLEMEN
If the bashful young gentleman； in turning a street corner； chance to
stumble suddenly upon two or three young ladies of his acquaintance；
nothing can exceed his confusion and agitation。 His first impulse is to
make a great variety of bows； and dart past them； which he does until；
observing that they wish to stop； but are uncertain whether to do so or not；
he makes several feints of returning； which causes them to do the same；
and at length； after a great quantity of unnecessary dodging and falling up
against the other passengers； he returns and shakes hands most
affectionately with all of them； in doing which he knocks out of their grasp
sundry little parcels； which he hastily picks up； and returns very muddy
and disordered。 The chances are that the bashful young gentleman then
observes it is very fine weather； and being reminded that it has only just
left off raining for the first time these three days； he blushes very much；
and smiles as if he had said a very good thing。 The young lady who was
most anxious to speak； here inquires； with an air of great commiseration；
how his dear sister Harriet is to…day； to which the young gentleman；
without the slightest consideration； replies with many thanks； that she is
remarkably well。 'Well； Mr。 Hopkins！' cries the young lady； 'why； we
heard she was bled yesterday evening； and have been perfectly miserable
about her。' 'Oh； ah；' says the young gentleman； 'so she was。 Oh； she's
very ill； very ill indeed。' The young gentleman then shakes his head； and
looks very desponding （he has been smiling perpetually up to this time）；
and after a short pause； gives his glove a great wrench at the wrist； and
says； with a strong emphasis on the adjective； 'GOOD morning； GOOD
morning。' And making a great number of bows in acknowledgment of
several little messages to his sister； walks backward a few paces； and
comes with great violence against a lamp…post； knocking his hat off in the
contact； which in his mental confusion and bodily pain he is going to walk
away without； until a great roar from a carter attracts his attention； when
he picks it up； and tries to smile cheerfully to the young ladies； who are
looking back； and who； he has the satisfaction of seeing； are all laughing
heartily。
At a quadrille party； the bashful young gentleman always remains as
near the entrance of the room as possible； from which position he smiles at
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SKETCHES OF YOUNG GENTLEMEN
the people he knows as they come in； and sometimes steps forward to
shake hands with more intimate friends： a process which on each
repetition seems to turn him a deeper scarlet than before。 He declines
dancing the first set or two； observing； in a faint voice； that he would
rather wait a little； but at length is absolutely compelled to allow himself
to be introduced to a partner； when he is led； in a great heat and blushing
furiously； across the room to a spot where half…a…dozen unknown ladies
are congregated together。
'Miss Lambert； let me introduce Mr。 Hopkins for the next quadrille。'
Miss Lambert inclines her head graciously。 Mr。 Hopkins bows； and his
fair conductress disappears； leaving Mr。 Hopkins； as he too well knows； to
make himself agreeable。 The young lady more than half expects that the
bashful young gentleman will say something； and the bashful young
gentleman feeling this； seriously thinks whether he has got anything to say；
which； upon mature reflection； he is rather disposed to conclude he has not；
since nothing occurs to him。 Meanwhile； the young lady； after several
inspections of her BOUQUET； all made in the expectation that the bashful
young gentleman is going to talk； whispers her mamma； who