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〃This time； last year；〃 thought she； 〃we went nutting togetherthis
very day last year； just such a day as to…day。 Purple and gold were
the lights on the hills； the leaves were just turning brown； here and
there on the sunny slopes the stubble…fields looked tawny； down in a
cleft of yon purple slate…rock the beck fell like a silver glancing
thread； all just as it is to…day。 And he climbed the slender；
swaying nut…trees； and bent the branches for me to gather； or made a
passage through the hazel copses； from time to time claiming a toll。
Who could have thought he loved me so little？who？who？〃
Or； as the evening closed in； she would allow herself to imagine that
she heard his coming step； just that she might recall time feeling of
exquisite delight which had passed by without the due and passionate
relish at the time。 Then she would wonder how she could have had
strength； the cruel； self…piercing strength； to say what she had
done； to stab himself with that stern resolution； of which the sear
would remain till her dying day。 It might have been right； but； as
she sickened； she wished she had not instinctively chosen the right。
How luxurious a life haunted by no stern sense of duty must be！ And
many led this kind of life； why could not she？ O； for one hour again
of his sweet company！ If he came now； she would agree to whatever he
proposed。
It was a fever of the mind。 She passed through it； and came out
healthy； if weak。 She was capable once more of taking pleasure in
following an unseen guide through briar and brake。 She returned with
tenfold affection to her protecting care of Willie。 She acknowledged
to herself that he was to he her all…in…all in life。 She made him
her constant companion。 For his sake； as the real owner of Yew Nook；
and she as his steward and guardian； she began that course of careful
saving； and that love of acquisition； which afterwards gained for her
the reputation of being miserly。 She still thought that he might
regain a scanty portion of senseenough to require some simple
pleasures and excitement； which would cost money。 And money should
not be wanting。 Peggy rather assisted her in the formation of her
parsimonious habits than otherwise； economy was the order of the
district； and a certain degree of respectable avarice the
characteristic of her age。 Only Willie was never stinted nor
hindered of anything that the two women thought could give him
pleasure； for want of money。
There was one gratification which Susan felt was needed for the
restoration of her mind to its more healthy state； after she had
passed through the whirling fever； when duty was as nothing； and
anarchy reigned； a gratification that； somehow； was to be her last
burst of unreasonableness； of which she knew and recognised pain as
the sure consequence。 She must see him once more；herself unseen。
The week before the Christmas of this memorable year； she went out in
the dusk of the early winter evening； wrapped close in shawl and
cloak。 She wore her dark shawl under her cloak； putting it over her
head in lieu of a bonnet； for she knew that she might have to wait
long in concealment。 Then she tramped over the wet fell…path； shut
in by misty rain for miles and miles； till she came to the place
where he was lodging； a farm…house in Langdale； with a steep； stony
lane leading up to it： this lane was entered by a gate out of the
main road； and by the gate were a few bushesthorns； but of them the
leaves had fallen； and they offered no concealment： an old wreck of
a yew…tree grew among them； however； and underneath that Susan
cowered down； shrouding her face； of which the colour might betray
her； with a corner of her shawl。 Long did she wait； cold and cramped
she became； too damp and stiff to change her posture readily。 And
after all； he might never come！ But； she would wait till daylight；
if need were； and she pulled out a crust； with which she had
providently supplied herself。 The rain had ceased；a dull； still；
brooding weather had succeeded； it was a night to hear distant
sounds。 She heard horses' hoofs striking and splashing in the
stones； and in the pools of the road at her back。 Two horses； not
well…ridden； or evenly guided； as she could tell。
Michael Hurst and a companion drew near： not tipsy； but not sober。
They stopped at the gate to bid each other a maudlin farewell。
Michael stooped forward to catch the latch with the hook of the stick
which he carried； he dropped the stick； and it fell with one end
close to Susan；indeed； with the slightest change of posture she
could have opened the gate for him。 He swore a great oath； and
struck his horse with his closed fist； as if that animal had been to
blame； then he dismounted； opened the gate； and fumbled about for his
stick。 When he had found it （Susan had touched the other end） his
first use of it was to flog his horse well； and she had much ado to
avoid its kicks and plunges。 Then； still swearing； he staggered up
the lane； for it was evident he was not sober enough to remount。
By daylight Susan was back and at her daily labours at Yew Nook。
When the spring came； Michael Hurst was married to Eleanor
Hebthwaite。 Others； too； were married； and christenings made their
firesides merry and glad； or they travelled； and came back after long
years with many wondrous tales。 More rarely； perhaps； a Dalesman
changed his dwelling。 But to all households more change came than to
Yew Nook。 There the seasons came round with monotonous sameness； or；
if they brought mutation； it was of a slow； and decaying； and
depressing kind。 Old Peggy died。 Her silent sympathy； concealed
under much roughness； was a loss to Susan Dixon。 Susan was not yet
thirty when this happened； but she looked a middle…aged； not to say
an elderly woman。 People affirmed that she had never recovered her
complexion since that fever； a dozen years ago； which killed her
father； and left Will Dixon an idiot。 But besides her gray
sallowness； the lines in her face were strong； and deep； and hard。
The movements of her eyeballs were slow and heavy； the wrinkles at
the corners of her mouth and eyes were planted firm and sure； not an
ounce of unnecessary flesh was there on her bonesevery muscle
started strong and ready for use。 She needed all this bodily
strength； to a degree that no human creature； now Peggy was dead；
knew of： for Willie had grown up large and strong in body； and； in
general； docile enough in mind； but； every now and then； he became
first moody； and then violent。 These paroxysms lasted but a day or
two； and it was Susan's anxious care to keep their very existence
hidden and unknown。 It is true； that occasional passers…by on that
lonely road heard sounds at night of knocking about of furniture；
blows； and cries； as of some tearing demon within the solitary farm…
house； but these fits of violence usually occurred in the night； and
whatever had been their consequence