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ce of winning。 I was on the Republican ticket； and the Republicans had been in office four years and their administration had proved unfortunate。 There had been rich pickings for contractors in that new and overgrown city； and the people blamed the Republicans and were determined on a change。
I was passing the office of the opposition editor late at night after canvassing for votes all day。 I thought of the nasty slurs he had written about me and my whole ancestry。 I had fought hard to educate myself and had been helpful to others。 My self…respect revolted under this editor's malicious goading。 I happened to see him in his front office； and on a sudden impulse； I went in； took hold of his collar； and gave him a good licking。
The next day he bawled me out worse than ever。 He said I was not only a wild Welshman and a blockhead； but what is more deadly still； I was a gorilla and an assassin。
And the next day I was elected。
CHAPTER XXXIX
PUTTING JAZZ INTO THE CAMPAIGN
I will go back and relate more details of my race for office。 Having won the nomination； I thrilled with pleasure and excitement； but I was at a loss as to how to begin my campaign for election。 Should I hope for support among the white…collar classes in the 〃swell〃 end of town； among the merchants and mill owners or only in the quarter where the workers lived？
The first act of a candidate is to have cards printed and pass them out to every one he meets。 My cards bore my name and my slogan： 〃Play the game square。〃 I argued that the workers should take part in the city government。 I quit the tin mill and went around making speeches。 And as there were no movies； and the men had nothing to do evenings but listen to speeches； it was no trouble at all to find an audience。 I learned that a politician or an orator has the same appetite for audiences that a drunkard has for gin。 When is an orator not an orator？ When he hasn't got an audience。 I found that when a horse fell down on the street and a crowd gathered to pick it up； somebody began 〃addressing the gathering on the issues of the day。〃
Now I know why the cranks from everywhere swarm into any region where a strike is on。 They are seeking audiences。 They have no love for humanity except that portion of humanity which is forced to be an audience for their itching tongues。 I have known rich Jawbone Janes to travel half across the continent to harangue a poor bunch of striking hunyaks。 These daughters of luxury wanted one luxury that money could not buy。 The luxury of chinning their drivel to an audience。 You can't buy audiences as you buy orchids and furs。 Accidents make audiences。 When a horse falls down and a crowd gathers； he'll be up again and the crowd gone before a girl from Riverside Drive can come a hundred miles in a Pullman。 But when the job falls down； the strike crowd sticks together for days。 This gives the crack…brained lady opportunity to catch the Transcontinental limited and get there in time to pound their ears with her oratory。 She prefers a foreign crowd that can not understand English； they are slower to balk on her。 Not understanding what she says； it fails to irritate them greatly。 I know of one radical rich girl who boasts she has spread the glad tidings to audiences of thousands representing every foreign language in America。 She still hopes some time to catch an audience that understands her own language。 That would be a little better fun； she thinks； but still the joy of talking is the main thing； so it matters little whether their audience understands。 She wants her audiences to be alive； that's all； she doesn't care much what they're alive with。
When the worker comes to understand that these 〃leaders〃 from high society care nothing for him but only want a prominence for themselves and have no natural talents with which to earn that prominence； then the worker will get rid of that tribe forever。 Bill Haywood lacked the qualities that made Sam Gompers a labor leader。 Bill decided to be a leader without qualifying for it； and history tells the rest。
I circulated among the audiences that were listening to other candidates and waited for the men to express their opinions。 I heard one stalwart old fellow declare he was going to vote for Jazz。 〃Jazz is the fellow we want for City Clerk；〃 I heard him tell his comrades。 I had never heard of Jazz in those days： Jazz was decidedly a dark horse。 But the man was strong for him and wanted his friends to vote the same way。
There is a trick that was often used in small…town elections。 When the 〃reform element〃 made a fight on the 〃old gang〃 it was customary for the gang to lie down and place the name of the new man on the ticket。 The reformer thought the gang beaten and that his own election was sure； so he didn't make a hard campaign。 But the gang quietly passed around word to scratch the name of the reformer and to write in the name of a gang candidate in the secrecy of the polling booth。
Was this trick being played on me？ Were they now passing around the word to scratch me and write in the name of their friend； Jazz； who had not come out as a candidate before？ I edged in closer to the man who was boosting Mr。 Jazz for my job； and after listening for a while I learned that 〃Jazz Davis〃 was the man he was electioneering for。 He caught sight of my face and said： 〃There he is now。〃
〃My name isn't Jazz；〃 I said。 I handed him my card。 It read：
JAS。 J。 DAVIS
〃What is it then？〃 he asked。
I saw that I would lose a vote if I humiliated him。 So I laughed and said： 〃Yep； I'm him。 I was just kidding。 I'm mighty glad to have your support。 Have a cigar。〃
But I went away worried。 My personal friends knew me as Jimmy。 The men electioneered and handed cards to thought my name was Jazz。 On the ballot my name would appear JAMES。 Between 〃Jimmy；〃 〃Jim；〃 〃James〃 and Jazz〃 my fellows would find lots of room for confusion。 Every vote that I lost on that account would be due to my own carelessness。
It taught me the lesson of exactness。 I never again put out any puzzling language； but tried to stick to words that could not be misunderstood。
CHAPTER XL
FATHER TOOK ME SERIOUSLY
There was an interval of nearly five months between the time of my election； which was in May； and the date of taking office in September。 I decided to use this time to improve my qualifications for the job。 I returned to the old home town of Sharon and took a course in a business college。 Again I walked the old familiar paths where as a boy I had roamed the woods； fished the streams； brought the cows along the dusty road from pasture and blacked the boots of the traveling dudes at the hotel。
There is a great thrill for the young man who comes home with a heart beating high with triumph； to see the love and admiration in his parents' eyes。 Father shook my hand and said。 〃You're a good boy； Jimmy； and I'm proud of you。 I always knew you'd make your mark。〃
〃I haven't made much of a mark； dad；〃 I laughed。 〃City clerk isn't much。 County recorder is what I'm aiming for。〃 In fact； I had gone so far as to dream of being auditor of the state of Indiana。
A jolly old uncle who was there and who was looked on as the sage and wit of the Wel