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Republican； the Monarchist a Monarchist； and if a humble；
earnest； and sincere Seeker after Truth should find it in the
proposition that the moon is made of green cheese nothing could
ever budge him from that position； for he is nothing but an
automatic machine； and must obey the laws of his construction。
Y。M。 After so
O。M。 Having found the Truth； perceiving that beyond question
man has but one moving impulsethe contenting of his own spirit
and is merely a machine and entitled to no personal merit for
anything he does； it is not humanly possible for me to seek further。
The rest of my days will be spent in patching and painting and
puttying and caulking my priceless possession and in looking the
other way when an imploring argument or a damaging fact approaches。
…
1。 The Marquess of Worcester had done all of this more than a
century earlier。
VI
Instinct and Thought
Young Man。 It is odious。 Those drunken theories of yours；
advanced a while agoconcerning the rat and all thatstrip Man
bare of all his dignities； grandeurs； sublimities。
Old Man。 He hasn't any to stripthey are shams； stolen
clothes。 He claims credits which belong solely to his Maker。
Y。M。 But you have no right to put him on a level with a rat。
O。M。 I don'tmorally。 That would not be fair to the rat。
The rat is well above him； there。
Y。M。 Are you joking？
O。M。 No； I am not。
Y。M。 Then what do you mean？
O。M。 That comes under the head of the Moral Sense。 It is a
large question。 Let us finish with what we are about now； before
we take it up。
Y。M。 Very well。 You have seemed to concede that you place
Man and the rat on A level。 What is it？ The intellectual？
O。M。 In formnot a degree。
Y。M。 Explain。
O。M。 I think that the rat's mind and the man's mind are the
same machine； but of unequal capacitieslike yours and Edison's；
like the African pygmy's and Homer's； like the Bushman's and Bismarck's。
Y。M。 How are you going to make that out； when the lower animals
have no mental quality but instinct； while man possesses reason？
O。M。 What is instinct？
Y。M。 It is merely unthinking and mechanical exercise of
inherited habit。
O。M。 What originated the habit？
Y。M。 The first animal started it； its descendants have
inherited it。
O。M。 How did the first one come to start it？
Y。M。 I don't know； but it didn't THINK it out。
O。M。 How do you know it didn't？
Y。M。 WellI have a right to suppose it didn't； anyway。
O。M。 I don't believe you have。 What is thought？
Y。M。 I know what you call it： the mechanical and automatic
putting together of impressions received from outside； and
drawing an inference from them。
O。M。 Very good。 Now my idea of the meaningless term 〃instinct〃 is；
that it is merely PETRIFIED THOUGHT； solidified and made inanimate
by habit； thought which was once alive and awake； but it become
unconsciouswalks in its sleep； so to speak。
Y。M。 Illustrate it。
O。M。 Take a herd of cows； feeding in a pasture。 Their
heads are all turned in one direction。 They do that
instinctively； they gain nothing by it； they have no reason for
it； they don't know why they do it。 It is an inherited habit
which was originally thoughtthat is to say； observation of an
exterior fact； and a valuable inference drawn from that
observation and confirmed by experience。 The original wild ox
noticed that with the wind in his favor he could smell his enemy
in time to escape； then he inferred that it was worth while to
keep his nose to the wind。 That is the process which man calls
reasoning。 Man's thought…machine works just like the other
animals'； but it is a better one and more Edisonian。 Man； in the
ox's place； would go further； reason wider： he would face part
of the herd the other way and protect both front and rear。
Y。M。 Did you stay the term instinct is meaningless？
O。M。 I think it is a bastard word。 I think it confuses us；
for as a rule it applies itself to habits and impulses which had
a far…off origin in thought； and now and then breaks the rule and
applies itself to habits which can hardly claim a thought…origin。
Y。M。 Give an instance。
O。M。 Well； in putting on trousers a man always inserts the same old
leg firstnever the other one。 There is no advantage in that；
and no sense in it。 All men do it； yet no man thought it out
and adopted it of set purpose； I imagine。 But it is a habit which
is transmitted； no doubt； and will continue to be transmitted。
Y。M。 Can you prove that the habit exists？
O。M。 You can prove it； if you doubt。 If you will take a
man to a clothing…store and watch him try on a dozen pairs of
trousers； you will see。
Y。M。 The cow illustration is not
O。M。 Sufficient to show that a dumb animal's mental machine
is just the same as a man's and its reasoning processes the same？
I will illustrate further。 If you should hand Mr。 Edison a box
which you caused to fly open by some concealed device he would
infer a spring； and would hunt for it and find it。 Now an uncle
of mine had an old horse who used to get into the closed lot
where the corn…crib was and dishonestly take the corn。 I got the
punishment myself； as it was supposed that I had heedlessly
failed to insert the wooden pin which kept the gate closed。
These persistent punishments fatigued me； they also caused me to
infer the existence of a culprit； somewhere； so I hid myself and
watched the gate。 Presently the horse came and pulled the pin
out with his teeth and went in。 Nobody taught him that； he had
observedthen thought it out for himself。 His process did not
differ from Edison's； he put this and that together and drew an
inferenceand the peg； too； but I made him sweat for it。
Y。M。 It has something of the seeming of thought about it。
Still it is not very elaborate。 Enlarge。
O。M。 Suppose Mr。 Edison has been enjoying some one's
hospitalities。 He comes again by and by； and the house is
vacant。 He infers that his host has moved。 A while afterward；
in another town； he sees the man enter a house； he infers that
that is the new home； and follows to inquire。 Here； now； is the
experience of a gull； as related by a naturalist。 The scene is a
Scotch fishing village where the gulls were kindly treated。 This
particular gull visited a cottage； was fed； came next day and was
fed again； came into the house； next time； and ate with the
family； kept on doing this almost daily； thereafter。 But； once
the gull was away on a journey for a few days； and when it
returned the house was vacant。 Its friends had removed to a
village three miles distant。 Several months later it saw the
head of the family on the street there； followed him home；
entered the house without excuse or apology； and became a daily
guest again。 Gulls do not rank high mentally； but this one had
memo