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remember the alamo-第15章

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happiness she delighted to sacrifice her own。  When she heard
his voice she rose quickly; crying out:

〃A miracle!  A miracle!  Grace of God and Mary; a miracle! 
Only this morning; my precious; my boy!  I asked the Holy
Mother to pity my sorrows; and send you to me。  I vow to
Mary a new shrine。  I vow to keep it; and dress it for one
whole year。  I will give my opal ring to the poor。  Oh; Juan!
Juan! Juan I am too blessed。〃

Her words were broken into pieces by his kisses。  He knelt at
her knees; and stroked her face; and patted her hands; and did
all with such natural fervor and grace; that anything else; or
anything less; must have seemed cold and unfilial。

〃Come; my beautiful mother; and see my friend。  I have told
him so much about you; and poor Dare has no mother。  I have
promised him that you will be his mother also。  Dare is so
goodthe finest fellow in all the world; come down and see
Dare; and let us have a real Mexican dinner; madre。  I have
not tasted an olla since I left you。〃

She could not resist him。  She made Rachela lay out her
prettiest dress; and when Jack said 〃how beautiful your hair
is; mother; no one has hair like you!〃 she drew out the great
shell pins; and let it fall like a cloud around her; and with
a glad pride gave Rachela the order to get out her jewelled
comb and gilded fan and finest mantilla。  And oh! how
happy is that mother who has such pure and fervent admiration
from her son; and how happy is that son to whom his mother is
ever beautiful!

Jack's presence drove all the evil spirits out of the house。
The windows were thrown open; the sunshine came in。  He was
running after Isabel; he was playing the mandolin; his voice;
his laugh; his quick footstep; were everywhere。

In spite of the trouble in the city; there was a real festival
in the house。  The Senora came down in her sweetest temper and
her finest garments。  She arranged Jack's dinner herself;
selected the dishes and gave strict orders about their
serving。  She took Jack's friend at once into her favor; and
Dare thought her wonderfully lovely and gracious。  He sat with
her on the balcony; and talked of Jack; telling her how clever
he was; and how all his comrades loved him for his sunny
temper and affectionate heart。

It was a happy dinner; lengthened out with merry conversation。 
Every one thought that a few hours might be given to family
love and family joy。  It would be good to have the memory of
them in the days that were fast coming。  So they sat long
over the sweetmeats; and fresh figs; and the pale wines of
Xeres and Alicante。  And they rose up with laughter; looking
into each others' faces with eyes that seemed to bespeak love
and remembrance。  And then they went from the table; and saw
not Destiny standing cold and pitiless behind them; marking
two places for evermore vacant。

There was not much siesta that day。  The Senora; Isabel and
Jack sat together; the Senora dozed a little; but not enough
to lose consciousness of Jack's presence and Jack's voice。 
The father; happy; and yet acutely anxious; went to and fro
between his children and his study。  Antonia and Dare were in
the myrtle walk or under the fig…tree。  This hour was the
blossoming time of their lives。  And it was not the less sweet
and tender because of the dark shadows on the edge of the
sunshine。  Nor were they afraid to face the shadows; to
inquire of them; and thus to taste the deeper rapture of love
when love is gemmed with tears。

It was understood that the young men were going away in the
morning very early; so early that their adieus must be said
with their good…nights。  It was at this hour that the
Senora found courage to ask:

〃My Juan; where do you go?

〃To Gonzales; mi madre。〃

〃But why?  Oh; Juan; do not desert your madre; and your
country!

〃Desert you; madre!  I am your boy to my last breath!  My
country I love with my whole soul。  That is why I have come
back to you and to her!  She is in trouble and her sons must
stand by her。〃

〃Do not talk with two meanings。  Oh; Juan! why do you go to
Gonzales?〃

〃We have heard that Colonel Ugartchea is to be there soon; and
to take away the arms of the Americans。  That is not to be
endured。  If you yourself were a man; you would have been away
ere this to help them; I am sure。〃

〃ME!!  The Blessed Virgin knows I would cut off my hands and
feet first。  Juan; listen to me dear one!  You are a Mexican。〃

〃My heart is Mexican; for it is yours。  But I must stand with
my father and with my brother; and with my American
compatriots。  Are we slaves; that we must give up our arms? 
No; but if we gave them up we should deserve to be
slaves。〃

〃God and the saints!〃 she answered; passionately。  〃What a
trouble about a few guns!  One would think the Mexicans wanted
the wives and children; the homes and lands of the Americans。 
They cry out from one end of Texas to the other。〃

〃They cry out in old England and in New England; in New York;
in New Orleans; and all down the Mississippi。  And men are
crying back to them:  ‘Stand to your rifles and we will come
and help you!'  The idea of disarming ten thousand Americans!〃
Jack laughed with scornful amusement at the notion。  〃What a
game it will be!  Mother; you can't tell how a man gets to
love his rifle。  He that takes our purse takes trash; but our
rifles!  By George Washington; that's a different story!〃

Juan; my darling; you are my last hope。  Your brother was born
with an American heart。  He has even become a heretic。  Fray
Ignatius says he went into the Colorado and was what they call
immersed; he that was baptized with holy water by the thrice
holy bishop of Durango。  My beloved one; go and see Fray
Ignatius; late as it is; he will rise and counsel you。

〃My heart; my conscience; my country; my father; my brother;
Santa Anna's despotism; have already counselled me。〃

〃Speak no more。  I see that you also are a rebel and a
heretic。  Mother of sorrows; give me thy compassion!〃  Then;
turning to Juan; she cried out:  〃May God pardon me for having
brought into this world such ingrates!  Go from me!  You have
broken my heart!

He fell at her feet; and; in spite of her reluctance; took her
hands

〃Sweetest mother; wait but a little while。  You will see that
we are right。  Do not be cross with Juan。  I am going away。 
Kiss me; mother。  Kiss me; and give me your blessing。〃

〃No; I will not bless you。  I will not kiss you。  You want
what is impossible; what is wicked。〃

〃I want freedom。〃

〃And to get freedom you tread upon your mother's heart。     
Let loose my hands。  I am weary to death of this everlasting
talk of freedom。  I think indeed that the Americans know
but two words: freedom and dollars。  Ring for Rachela。  She;
at least; is faithful to me。〃

〃Not till you kiss me; mother。  Do not send me away unblessed
and unloved。  That is to doom me to misfortune。  Mi madre;
I beg this favor from you。〃  He had risen; but he still held
her hands; and he was weeping as innocent young men are not
ashamed to weep。

If she had looked at him!  Oh; if she had but once looked at
his face; she could not have resisted its beauty; its sorrow;
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