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winesburg,ohio-第31章

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of a woman smoking and trembled also to think that his eyes; just raised from the pages of the book of God; had looked upon the bare shoulders and white throat of a woman。  With his brain in a whirl he went down into the pulpit and preached a long sermon without once thinking of his gestures or his voice。  The sermon attracted unusual attention because of its power and clearness。  〃I wonder if she is listening; if my voice is carrying a message into her soul;〃 he thought and began to hope that on future Sunday mornings he might be able to say words that would touch and awaken the woman apparently far gone in secret sin。

The house next door to the Presbyterian Church; through the windows of which the minister had seen the sight that had so upset him; was occupied by two women。  Aunt Elizabeth Swift; a grey competent… looking widow with money in the Winesburg Na… tional Bank; lived there with her daughter Kate Swift; a school teacher。  The school teacher was thirty years old and had a neat trim…looking figure。 She had few friends and bore a reputation of having a sharp tongue。  When he began to think about her; Curtis Hartman remembered that she had been to Europe and had lived for two years in New York City。  〃Perhaps after all her smoking means noth… ing;〃 he thought。  He began to remember that when he was a student in college and occasionally read novels; good although somewhat worldly women; had smoked through the pages of a book that had once fallen into his hands。  With a rush of new deter… mination he worked on his sermons all through the week and forgot; in his zeal to reach the ears and the soul of this new listener; both his embarrassment in the pulpit and the necessity of prayer in the study on Sunday mornings。

Reverend Hartman's experience with women had been somewhat limited。  He was the son of a wagon maker from Muncie; Indiana; and had worked his way through college。  The daughter of the under… wear manufacturer had boarded in a house where he lived during his school days and he had married her after a formal and prolonged courtship; carried on for the most part by the girl herself。  On his mar… riage day the underwear manufacturer had given his daughter five thousand dollars and he promised to leave her at least twice that amount in his will。  The minister had thought himself fortunate in marriage and had never permitted himself to think of other women。  He did not want to think of other women。 What he wanted was to do the work of God quietly and earnestly。

In the soul of the minister a struggle awoke。  From wanting to reach the ears of Kate Swift; and through his sermons to delve into her soul; he began to want also to look again at the figure lying white and quiet in the bed。  On a Sunday morning when he could not sleep because of his thoughts he arose and went to walk in the streets。  When he had gone along Main Street almost to the old Richmond place he stopped and picking up a stone rushed off to the room in the bell tower。  With the stone he broke out a corner of the window and then locked the door and sat down at the desk before the open Bible to wait。  When the shade of the window to Kate Swift's room was raised he could see; through the hole; directly into her bed; but she was not there。  She also had arisen and had gone for a walk and the hand that raised the shade was the hand of Aunt Elizabeth Swift。

The minister almost wept with joy at this deliver… ance from the carnal desire to 〃peep〃 and went back to his own house praising God。  In an ill moment he forgot; however; to stop the hole in the window。 The piece of glass broken out at the corner of the window just nipped off the bare heel of the boy standing motionless and looking with rapt eyes into the face of the Christ。

Curtis Hartman forgot his sermon on that Sunday morning。  He talked to his congregation and in his talk said that it was a mistake for people to think of their minister as a man set aside and intended by nature to lead a blameless life。  〃Out of my own experience I know that we; who are the ministers of God's word; are beset by the same temptations that assail you;〃 he declared。  〃I have been tempted and have surrendered to temptation。  It is only the hand of God; placed beneath my head; that has raised me up。 As he has raised me so also will he raise you。 Do not despair。  In your hour of sin raise your eyes to the skies and you will be again and again saved。〃

Resolutely the minister put the thoughts of the woman in the bed out of his mind and began to be something like a lover in the presence of his wife。 One evening when they drove out together he turned the horse out of Buckeye Street and in the darkness on Gospel Hill; above Waterworks Pond; put his arm about Sarah Hartman's waist。  When he had eaten breakfast in the morning and was ready to retire to his study at the back of his house he went around the table and kissed his wife on the cheek。  When thoughts of Kate Swift came into his head; he smiled and raised his eyes to the skies。 〃Intercede for me; Master;〃 he muttered; 〃keep me in the narrow path intent on Thy work。〃

And now began the real struggle in the soul of the brown…bearded minister。  By chance he discov… ered that Kate Swift was in the habit of lying in her bed in the evenings and reading a book。  A lamp stood on a table by the side of the bed and the light streamed down upon her white shoulders and bare throat。  On the evening when he made the discovery the minister sat at the desk in the dusty room from nine until after eleven and when her light was put out stumbled out of the church to spend two more hours walking and praying in the streets。  He did not want to kiss the shoulders and the throat of Kate Swift and had not allowed his mind to dwell on such thoughts。  He did not know what he wanted。 〃I am God's child and he must save me from my… self;〃 he cried; in the darkness under the trees as he wandered in the streets。  By a tree he stood and looked at the sky that was covered with hurrying clouds。  He began to talk to God intimately and closely。  〃Please; Father; do not forget me。  Give me power to go tomorrow and repair the hole in the window。  Lift my eyes again to the skies。  Stay with me; Thy servant; in his hour of need。〃

Up and down through the silent streets walked the minister and for days and weeks his soul was troubled。  He could not understand the temptation that had come to him nor could he fathom the rea… son for its coming。  In a way he began to blame God; saying to himself that he had tried to keep his feet in the true path and had not run about seeking sin。 〃Through my days as a young man and all through my life here I have gone quietly about my work;〃 he declared。  〃Why now should I be tempted? What have I done that this burden should be laid on me?〃

Three times during the early fall and winter of that year Curtis Hartman crept out of his house to the room in the bell tower to sit in the darkness looking at the figure of Kate Swift lying in her bed and later went to walk and pray in the streets。  He could not understand himself。  For weeks he would go along scarcely thinking of the school teacher and telling himself that he had conquered the carnal de… sire to look at her
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