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〃Tuesday； I believe。〃
Then he got up； and let the moth fly into the darkness； his hands
and lips were trembling； and he was afraid of their being seen。 He
had never known； had not dreamed； of such a violent； sick feeling。
That this man could thus hale her home at will！ It was grotesque；
fantastic； awful； butit was true！ Next Tuesday she would journey
back away from him to be again at the mercy of her Fate！ The pain
of this thought made him grip the railing； and grit his teeth； to
keep himself from crying out。 And another thought came to him： I
shall have to go about with this feeling； day and night； and keep
it secret。
They were saying good…night； and he had to smirk and smile； and
pretendto her above allthat he was happy； and he could see that
she knew it was pretence。
Then he was alone； with the feeling that he had failed her at the
first shot； torn； too； between horror of what he suddenly saw
before him； and longing to be back in her presence at any cost。 。 。 。
And all this on the day of that first kiss which had seemed to
him to make her so utterly his own。
He sat down on a bench facing the Casino。 Neither the lights； nor
the people passing in and out； not even the gipsy bandsmen's music；
distracted his thoughts for a second。 Could it be less than
twenty…four hours since he had picked up her handkerchief； not
thirty yards away？ In that twenty…four hours he seemed to have
known every emotion that man could feel。 And in all the world
there was now not one soul to whom he could speak his real
thoughtsnot even to her； because from her； beyond all； he must
keep at any cost all knowledge of his unhappiness。 So this was
illicit loveas it was called！ Loneliness； and torture！ Not
jealousyfor her heart was his； but amazement； outrage； fear。
Endless lonely suffering！ And nobody； if they knew； would care； or
pity him one jot！
Was there really； then； as the ancients thought； a Daemon that
liked to play with men； as men liked to stir an earwig and turn it
over and put a foot on it in the end？
He got up and made his way towards the railway…station。 There was
the bench where she had been sitting when he came on her that very
morning。 The stars in their courses had seemed to fight for them
then； but whether for joy he no longer knew。 And there on the seat
were still the pepper berries she had crushed and strewn。 He broke
off another bunch and bruised them。 That scent was the ghost of
sacred minutes when her hand lay against his own。 The stars in
their coursesfor joy or sorrow！
VII
There was no peace now for Colonel and Mrs。 Ercott。 They felt
themselves conspirators； and of conspiracy they had never had the
habit。 Yet how could they openly deal with anxieties which had
arisen solely from what they had chanced secretly to see？ What was
not intended for one's eyes and ears did not exist； no canon of
conduct could be quite so sacred。 As well defend the opening of
another person's letters as admit the possibility of making use of
adventitious knowledge。 So far tradition； and indeed character；
made them feel at one； and conspire freely。 But they diverged on a
deeper plane。 Mrs。 Ercott had SAID； indeed； that here was
something which could not be controlled； the Colonel had FELT ita
very different thing！ Less tolerant in theory； he was touched at
heart； Mrs。 Ercott； in theory almost approvingshe read that
dangerous authoress； George Eliotat heart felt cold towards her
husband's niece。 For these reasons they could not in fact conspire
without； in the end； saying suddenly： 〃Well； it's no good talking
about it！〃 and almost at once beginning to talk about it again。
In proposing to her that mule； the Colonel had not had time； or；
rather； not quite conviction enough as to his line of action； to
explain so immediately the new need for her to sit upon it。 It was
only when； to his somewhat strange relief； she had refused the
expedition； and Olive had started without them； that he told her of
the meeting in the Gardens； of which he had been witness。 She then
said at once that if she had known she would； of course； have put
up with anything in order to go； not because she approved of
interfering； but because they must think of Robert！ And the
Colonel had said： 〃Dn the fellow！〃 And there the matter had
rested for the moment； for both of them were； wondering a little
which fellow it was that he had damned。 That indeed was the
trouble。 If the Colonel had not cared so much about his niece； and
had liked； instead of rather disliking Cramier； if Mrs。 Ercott had
not found Mark Lennan a 'nice boy；' and had not secretly felt her
husband's niece rather dangerous to her peace of mind； if； in few
words； those three had been puppets made of wood and worked by law；
it would have been so much simpler for all concerned。 It was the
discovery that there was a personal equation in such matters；
instead of just a simple rule of three； which disorganized the
Colonel and made him almost angry； which depressed Mrs。 Ercott and
made her almost silent。 。 。 。 These two good souls had stumbled on
a problem which has divided the world from birth。 Shall cases be
decided on their individual merits； or according to formal codes？
Beneath an appearance and a vocabulary more orthodox than ever； the
Colonel's allegiance to Authority and the laws of Form was really
shaken； he simply could not get out of his head the sight of those
two young people sitting side by side； nor the tone of Olive's
voice； when she had repeated his regrettable words about happiness
at home。
If only the thing had not been so human！ If only she had been
someone else's niece； it would clearly have been her duty to remain
unhappy。 As it was； the more he thought； the less he knew what to
think。 A man who had never had any balance to speak of at his
bank； and from the nomadic condition of his life had no exaggerated
feeling for a settled social statusdeeming Society in fact rather
a borehe did not unduly exaggerate the worldly dangers of this
affair； neither did he honestly believe that she would burn in
everlasting torment if she did not succeed in remaining true to
'that great black chap；' as he secretly called Cramier。 His
feeling was simply that it was an awful pity； a sort of unhappy
conviction that it was not like the women of his family to fall
upon such ways； that his dead brother would turn in his grave； in
two words that it was 'not done。' Yet he was by no means of those
who； giving latitude to women in general； fall with whips on those
of their own family who take it。 On the contrary； believing that
'Woman in general' should be stainless to the world's eye； he was
inclined to make allowance for any individual woman that he knew
and loved。 A suspicion he had always entertained； that Cramier was
not by breeding 'quite the clean potato' may insensibly have
influenced him just a little。 He had heard indeed that he was not
even entitled to the name of Cramier； but had been adopted by a
childless man； who had brought him up and left him a lot of money。
There was something in this that went against the grain of the
childless Colonel。 He h