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sentimentsI have never seen。 As George said； he looked more like
some heathen idol than a happy English dog。
He appeared to have been waiting for us； and he rose up and greeted us
with a ghastly grin； and got between us and the door。
We smiled at hima sickly； propitiatory smile。 We said； 〃Good
dogpoor fellow！〃 and we asked him； in tones implying that the
question could admit of no negative； if he was not a 〃nice old chap。〃
We did not really think so。 We had our own private opinion concerning
him； and it was unfavorable。 But we did not express it。 We would not
have hurt his feelings for the world。 He was a visitor； our guest； so
to speakand； as well…brought…up young men； we felt that the right
thing to do was for us to prevent his gaining any hint that we were
not glad to see him； and to make him feel as little as possible the
awkwardness of his position。
I think we succeeded。 He was singularly unembarrassed； and far more
at his ease than even we were。 He took but little notice of our
flattering remarks； but was much drawn toward George's legs。 George
used to be； I remember； rather proud of his legs。 I could never see
enough in them myself to excuse George's vanity； indeed； they always
struck me as lumpy。 It is only fair to acknowledge； however； that
they quite fascinated that bull…dog。 He walked over and criticized
them with the air of a long…baffled connoisseur who had at last found
his ideal。 At the termination of his inspection he distinctly smiled。
George； who at that time was modest and bashful； blushed and drew them
up on to the chair。 On the dog's displaying a desire to follow them；
George moved up on to the table； and squatted there in the middle；
nursing his knees。 George's legs being lost to him； the dog appeared
inclined to console himself with mine。 I went and sat beside George
on the table。
Sitting with your feet drawn up in front of you； on a small and
rickety one…legged table； is a most trying exercise； especially if you
are not used to it。 George and I both felt our position keenly。 We
did not like to call out for help； and bring the family down。 We were
proud young men； and we feared lest； to the unsympathetic eye of the
comparative stranger； the spectacle we should present might not prove
imposing。
We sat on in silence for about half an hour； the dog keeping a
reproachful eye upon us from the nearest chair； and displaying
elephantine delight whenever we made any movement suggestive of
climbing down。
At the end of the half hour we discussed the advisability of 〃chancing
it；〃 but decided not to。 〃We should never；〃 George said； 〃confound
foolhardiness with courage。〃
〃Courage；〃 he continuedGeorge had quite a gift for maxims〃courage
is the wisdom of manhood； foolhardiness； the folly of youth。〃
He said that to get down from the table while that dog remained in the
room； would clearly prove us to be possessed of the latter quality； so
we restrained ourselves； and sat on。
We sat on for over an hour； by which time； having both grown careless
of life and indifferent to the voice of Wisdom； we did 〃chance it；〃
and throwing the table…cloth over our would…be murderer； charged for
the door and got out。
The next morning we complained to our landlady of her carelessness in
leaving wild beasts about the place； and we gave her a brief if not
exactly truthful； history of the business。
Instead of the tender womanly sympathy we had expected； the old lady
sat down in the easy chair and burst out laughing。
〃What！ old Boozer；〃 she exclaimed； 〃you was afraid of old Boozer！
Why； bless you； he wouldn't hurt a worm！ He ain't got a tooth in his
head； he ain't； we has to feed him with a spoon； and I'm sure the way
the cat chivies him about must be enough to make his life a burden to
him。 I expect he wanted you to nurse him； he's used to being nursed。〃
And that was the brute that had kept us sitting on a table； with our
boots off； for over an hour on a chilly night！
Another bull…dog exhibition that occurs to me was one given by my
uncle。 He had had a bulldoga young onegiven to him by a friend。
It was a grand dog； so his friend had told him； all it wanted was
trainingit had not been properly trained。 My uncle did not profess
to know much about the training of bull…dogs； but it seemed a simple
enough matter； so he thanked the man； and took his prize home at the
end of a rope。
〃Have we got to live in the house with _this？_〃 asked my aunt；
indignantly； coming in to the room about an hour after the dog's
advent； followed by the quadruped himself； wearing an idiotically
self…satisfied air。
〃That！〃 exclaimed my uncle； in astonishment； 〃why； it's a splendid
dog。 His father was honorably mentioned only last year at the
Aquarium。〃
〃Ah； well； all I can say is； that his son isn't going the way to get
honorably mentioned in this neighborhood；〃 replied my aunt； with
bitterness； 〃he's just finished killing poor Mrs。 McSlanger's cat； if
you want to know what he has been doing。 And a pretty row there'll be
about it； too！〃
〃Can't we hush it up？〃 said my uncle。
〃Hush it up？〃 retorted my aunt。 〃If you'd heard the row； you wouldn't
sit there and talk like a fool。 And if you'll take my advice；〃 added
my aunt； 〃you'll set to work on this 'training；' or whatever it is；
that has got to be done to the dog； before any human life is lost。〃
My uncle was too busy to devote any time to the dog for the next day
or so； and all that could be done was to keep the animal carefully
confined to the house。
And a nice time we had with him！ It was not that the animal was
bad…hearted。 He meant wellhe tried to do his duty。 What was wrong
with him was that he was too hard…working。 He wanted to do too much。
He started with an exaggerated and totally erroneous notion of his
duties and responsibilities。 His idea was that he had been brought
into the house for the purpose of preventing any living human soul
from coming near it and of preventing any person who might by chance
have managed to slip in from ever again leaving it。
We endeavored to induce him to take a less exalted view of his
position； but in vain。 That was the conception he had formed in his
own mind concerning his earthly task； and that conception he insisted
on living up to with； what appeared to us to be； unnecessary
conscientiousness。
He so effectually frightened away all the trades people； that they at
last refused to enter the gate。 All that they would do was to bring
their goods and drop them over the fence into the front garden； from
where we had to go and fetch them as we wanted them。
〃I wish you'd run into the garden；〃 my aunt would say to meI was
stopping with them at the time〃and see if you can find any sugar； I
think there's some under the big rose…bush。 If not； you'd better go
to Jones' and order some。〃
And on the cook's inquiring what she should get ready for lunch； my
aunt would say：
〃Well； I'm sure； Jane； I hardly know。 What have we？ Are there any
chops in the garden； or was it a bit of steak that I noticed on the
lawn？〃
On the second afternoon the plumbers came to do a little job to the
kitchen boiler。