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little fishing thrown in in the spring。 As I want to make the most of
myself; I will add that I am supposed to be among the six best shots
in England; and that my ambitionyes; great Heavens! my ambitionwas
to become better than the other five。 By that sin fell the poor man
who speaks to you。 I was supposed to have abilities; but I neglected
them all to pursue this form of idleness。 I entered no profession; I
did no work; with the result that at thirty…two I am ruined and almost
hopeless。〃
〃Why ruined and hopeless?〃 she asked anxiously; for the way in which
they were spoken grieved her more than the words themselves。
〃Ruined because my old uncle; the Honourable John Seymour Seymour;
whose heir I was; committed the indiscretion of marrying a young lady
who has presented him with thriving twins。 With the appearance of
those twins my prospects disappeared; as did the allowance of £1;500 a
year that he was good enough to make me on which to keep up a position
as his next…of…kin。 I had something of my own; but also I had debts;
and at the present moment a draft in my pocket for £2;163 14s。 5d。;
and a little loose cash; represents the total of my worldly goods;
just about the sum I have been accustomed to spend per annum。〃
〃I don't call that ruin; I call that riches;〃 said Benita; relieved。
〃With £2;000 to begin on you may make a fortune in Africa。 But how
about the hopelessness?〃
〃I am hopeless because I have absolutely nothing to which to look
forward。 Really; when that £2;000 is gone I do not know how to earn a
sixpence。 In this dilemma it occurred to me that the only thing I
could do was to turn my shooting to practical account; and become a
hunter of big game。 Therefore I propose to kill elephants until an
elephant kills me。 At least;〃 he added in a changed voice; 〃I did so
propose until half an hour ago。〃
II
THE END OF THE 〃ZANZIBAR。〃
〃Until half an hour ago? Then why〃 and Benita stopped。
〃Have I changed my very modest scheme of life? Miss Clifford; as you
are so good as to be sufficiently interested; I will tell you。 It is
because a temptation which hitherto I have been able to resist; has
during the last thirty minutes become too strong for me。 You know
everything has its breaking strain。〃 He puffed nervously at his cigar;
threw it into the sea; paused; then went on: 〃Miss Clifford; I have
dared to fall in love with you。 No; hear me out。 When I have done it
will be quite time enough to give me the answer that I expect。
Meanwhile; for the first time in my life; allow me the luxury of being
in earnest。 To me it is a new sensation; and therefore very priceless。
May I go on?〃
Benita made no answer。 He rose with a certain deliberateness which
characterized all his movementsfor Robert Seymour never seemed to be
in a hurryand stood in front of her so that the moonlight shone upon
her face; while his own remained in shadow。
〃Beyond that £2;000 of which I have spoken; and incidentally its
owner; I have nothing whatsoever to offer to you。 I am an indigent and
worthless person。 Even in my prosperous days; when I could look
forward to a large estate; although it was often suggested to me; I
never considered myself justified in asking any lady to sharethe
prospective estate。 I think now that the real reason was that I never
cared sufficiently for any lady; since otherwise my selfishness would
probably have overcome my scruples; as it does to…night。 Benita; for I
will call you so; if for the first and last time; IIlove you。
〃Listen now;〃 he went on; dropping his measured manner; and speaking
hurriedly; like a man with an earnest message and little time in which
to deliver it; 〃it is an odd thing; an incomprehensible thing; but
true; trueI fell in love with you the first time I saw your face。
You remember; you stood there leaning over the bulwark when I came on
board at Southampton; and as I walked up the gangway; I looked and my
eyes met yours。 Then I stopped; and that stout old lady who got off at
Madeira bumped into me; and asked me to be good enough to make up my
mind if I were going backward or forward。 Do you remember?〃
〃Yes;〃 she answered in a low voice。
〃Which things are an allegory;〃 he continued。 〃I felt it so at the
time。 Yes; I had half a mind to answer 'Backward' and give up my berth
in this ship。 Then I looked at you again; and something inside of me
said 'Forward。' So I came up the rest of the gangway and took off my
hat to you; a salutation I had no right to make; but which; I recall;
you acknowledged。〃
He paused; then continued: 〃As it began; so it has gone on。 It is
always like that; is it not? The beginning is everything; the end must
follow。 And now it has come out; as I was fully determined that it
should not do half an hour ago; when suddenly you developed eyes in
the back of your head; andoh! dearest; I love you。 No; please be
quiet; I have not done。 I have told you what I am; and really there
isn't much more to say about me; for I have no particular vices except
the worst of them all; idleness; and not the slightest trace of any
virtue that I can discover。 But I have a certain knowledge of the
world acquired in a long course of shooting parties; and as a man of
the world I will venture to give you a bit of advice。 It is possible
that to you my life and death affair is a mere matter of board…ship
amusement。 Yet it is possible also that you might take another view of
the matter。 In that case; as a friend and a man of the world; I
entreat youdon't。 Have nothing to do with me。 Send me about my
business; you will never regret it。〃
〃Are you making fun; or is all this meant; Mr。 Seymour?〃 asked Benita;
still speaking beneath her breath; and looking straight before her。
〃Meant? Of course it is meant。 How can you ask?〃
〃Because I have always understood that on such occasions people wish
to make the best of themselves。〃
〃Quite so; but I never do what I ought; a fact for which I am grateful
now come to think of it; since otherwise I should not be here
to…night。 I wish to make the worst of myself; the very worst; for
whatever I am not; at least I am honest。 Now having told you that I
am; or was half an hour ago; an idler; a good…for…nothing;
prospectless failure; I ask youif you care to hear any more?〃
She half rose; and; glancing at him for the first time; saw his face
contract itself and turn pale in the moonlight。 It may be that the
sight of it affected her; even to the extent of removing some adverse
impression left by the bitter mocking of his self…blame。 At any rate;
Benita seemed to change her mind; and sat down again; saying:
〃Go on; if you wish。〃
He bowed slightly; and said:
〃I thank you。 I have told you what I /was/ half an hour ago; now;
hoping that you will believe me; I will tell you what I /am/。 I am a
truly repentant man; one upon whom a new light has risen。 I am not
very old; and I think that un