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to laugh at the same time as they did。 Then the Abbot of Turpenay
gracefully delivered himself of the following tale； the risky passages
of which he gave in a low； soft； flute…like voice：
About a hundred years ago at the least； there occurred great quarrels
in Christendom because there were two popes at Rome； each one
pretending to be legitimately elected； which caused great annoyance to
the monasteries； abbeys； and bishoprics； since； in order to be
recognised by as many as possible； each of the two popes granted
titles and rights to each adherent； the which made double owners
everywhere。 Under these circumstances； the monasteries and abbeys that
were at war with their neighbours would not recognise both the popes；
and found themselves much embarrassed by the other； who always gave
the verdict to the enemies of the Chapter。 This wicked schism brought
about considerable mischief； and proved abundantly that error is worse
in Christianity than the adultery of the Church。
Now at this time； when the devil was making havoc among our
possessions； the most illustrious abbey of Turpenay； of which I am at
present the unworthy ruler； had a heavy trial on concerning the
settlements of certain rights with the redoubtable Sire de Cande； an
idolatrous infidel； a relapsed heretic； and most wicked lord。 This
devil； sent upon earth in the shape of a nobleman； was； to tell the
truth； a good soldier； well received at court； and a friend of the
Sieur Bureau de la Riviere； who was a person to whom the king was
exceedingly partialKing Charles the Fifth； of glorious memory。
Beneath the shelter of the favour of this Sieur de la Riviere； Lord of
Cande did exactly as he pleased in the valley of the Indre； where he
used to be master of everything； from Montbazon to Usse。 You may be
sure that his neighbours were terribly afraid of him； and to save
their skulls let him have his way。 They would； however； have preferred
him under the ground to above it； and heartily wished him bad luck；
but he troubled himself little about that。 In the whole valley the
noble abbey alone showed fight to this demon； for it has always been a
doctrine of the Church to take into her lap the weak and suffering；
and use every effort to protect the oppressed； especially those whose
rights and privileges are menaced。
For this reason this rough warrior hated monks exceedingly； especially
those of Turpenay； who would not allow themselves to be robbed of
their rights either by force or stratagem。 He was well pleased at the
ecclesiastical schism； and waited the decision of our abbey；
concerning which pope they should choose； to pillage them； being quite
ready to recognise the one to whom the abbot of Turpenay should refuse
his obedience。 Since his return to his castle； it was his custom to
torment and annoy the priests whom he encountered upon his domains in
such a manner； that a poor monk； surprised by him on his private road；
which was by the water…side； perceived no other method of safety then
to throw himself into the river； where； by a special miracle of the
Almighty； whom the good man fervently invoked； his gown floated him on
the Indre； and he made his way comfortably to the other side； which he
attained in full view of the lord of Cande； who was not ashamed to
enjoy the terrors of a servant of God。 Now you see of what stuff this
horrid man was made。 The abbot； to whom at that time； the care of our
glorious abbey was committed； led a most holy life； and prayed to God
with devotion； but he would have saved his own soul ten times； of such
good quality was his religion； before finding a chance to save the
abbey itself from the clutches of this wretch。 Although he was very
perplexed； and saw the evil hour at hand； he relied upon God for
succour； saying that he would never allow the property of the Church
to be touched； and that He who had raised up the Princess Judith for
the Hebrews； and Queen Lucretia for the Romans； would keep his most
illustrious abbey of Turpenay； and indulged in other equally sapient
remarks。 But his monks； whoto our shame I confess itwere
unbelievers； reproached him with his happy…go…lucky way of looking at
things； and declared that； to bring the chariot of Providence to the
rescue in time； all the oxen in the province would have to be yoked
it； that the trumpets of Jericho were no longer made in any portion of
the world； that God was disgusted with His creation； and would have
nothing more to do with it： in short； a thousand and one things that
were doubts and contumelies against God。
At this desperate juncture there rose up a monk named Amador。 This
name had been given him by way of a joke； since his person offered a
perfect portrait of the false god Aegipan。 He was like him； strong in
the stomach； like him； had crooked legs； arms hairy as those of a
saddler； a back made to carry a wallet； a face as red as the phiz of a
drunkard； glistening eyes； a tangled beard； was hairy faced； and so
puffed out with fat and meat that you would have fancied him in an
interesting condition。 You may be sure that he sung his matins on the
steps of the wine…cellar； and said his vespers in the vineyards of
Lord。 He was as fond of his bed as a beggar with sores； and would go
about the valley fuddling； faddling； blessing the bridals； plucking
the grapes； and giving them to the girls to taste； in spite of the
prohibition of the abbot。 In fact； he was a pilferer； a loiterer； and
a bad soldier of the ecclesiastical militia； of whom nobody in the
abbey took any notice； but let him do as he liked from motives of
Christian charity； thinking him mad。
Amador； knowing that it was a question of the ruin of the Abbey； in
which he was as snug as a bug in a rug； put up his bristles； took
notice of this and of that； went into each of the cells； listened in
the refectory； shivered in his shoes； and declared that he would
attempt to save the abbey。 He took cognisance of the contested points；
received from the abbot permission to postpone the case； and was
promised by the whole Chapter the Office of sub…prior if he succeeded
in putting an end to the litigation。 Then he set off across the
country； heedless of the cruelty and ill…treatment of the Sieur de
Cande； saying that he had that within his gown which would subdue him。
He went his way with nothing but the said gown for his viaticum： but
then in it was enough fat to feed a dwarf。 He selected to go to the
chateau； a day when it rained hard enough to fill the tubs of all the
housewives； and arrived without meeting a soul； in sight of Cande； and
looking like a drowned dog； stepped bravely into the courtyard； and
took shelter under a sty…roof to wait until the fury of the elements
had calmed down； and placed himself boldly in front of the room where
the owner of the chateau should be。 A servant perceiving him while
laying the supper； took pity on him； and told him to make himself
scarce； otherwise his master would give him a ho