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〃I only saw a lady in his couch； who seemed to be greatly enjoying
herself with him。〃
〃You； with your own eyes； saw this woman； cursed cuckold； and you did
not kill your rival？〃
〃It was not a common woman； but a lady of the court。〃
〃You saw her？〃
〃And verified her in both cases。〃
〃What do you mean by those words？〃 cried the king； who was bursting
with laughter。
〃I say； with all the respect due to your Majesty； that I have verified
the over and the under。〃
〃You do not； then； know the physiognomies of your own wife； you old
fool without memory！ You deserve to be hanged。〃
〃I hold those features of my wife in too great respect to gaze upon
them。 Besides she is so modest that she would die rather than expose
an atom of her body。〃
〃True；〃 said the king； 〃it was not made to be shown。〃
〃Old coquedouille！ that was your wife；〃 said the constable。
〃My lord constable； she is asleep； poor girl！〃
〃Quick； quick； then！ To horse！ Let us be off； and if she be in your
house I'll forgive you。〃
Then the constable； followed by the provost； went to the latter's
house in less time than it would have taken a beggar to empty the
poor…box。
〃Hullo！ there； hi！〃
Hearing the noise made by the men； which threatened to bring the walls
about their ears； the maid…servant opened the door； yawning and
stretching her arms。 The constable and the provost rushed into the
room； where； with great difficulty； they succeeded in waking the lady；
who pretended to be terrified； and was so soundly asleep that her eyes
were full of gum。 At this the provost was in great glee； saying to the
constable that someone had certainly deceived him； that his wife was a
virtuous woman； and was more astonished than any of them at these
proceedings。 The constable turned on his heel and departed。 The good
provost began directly to undress to get to bed early； since this
adventure had brought his good wife to his memory。 When he was
harnessing himself； and was knocking off his nether garments； madame；
still astonished； said to him
〃Oh； my dear husband； what is the meaning of all this uproarthis
constable and his pages； and why did he come to see if I was asleep？
Is it to be henceforward part of a constable's duty to look after
our 。 。 。〃
〃I do not know；〃 said the provost； interrupting her； to tell her what
had happened to him。
〃And you saw without my permission a lady of the court！ Ha！ ha！ heu！
heu！ hein！〃
Then she began to moan； to weep； and to cry in such a deplorable
manner and so loudly； that her lord was quite aghast。
〃What's the matter； my darling？ What is it？ What do you want？〃
〃Ah！ You won't love me any more are after seeing how beautiful court
ladies are！〃
〃Nonsense； my child！ They are great ladies。 I don't mind telling you
in confidence； they are great ladies in every respect。〃
〃Well；〃 said she； 〃am I nicer？〃
〃Ah；〃 said he； 〃in a great measure。 Yes！〃
〃They have； then； great happiness；〃 said she； sighing； 〃when I have so
much with so little beauty。〃
Thereupon the provost tried a better argument to argue with his good
wife； and argued so well that she finished by allowing herself to be
convinced that Heaven has ordained that much pleasure may be obtained
from small things。
This shows us that nothing here below can prevail against the Church
of Cuckolds。
ABOUT THE MONK AMADOR； WHO WAS A GLORIOUS ABBOT OF TURPENAY
One day that it was drizzling with raina time when the ladies remain
gleefully at home； because they love the damp； and can have at their
apron strings the men who are not disagreeable to themthe queen was
in her chamber； at the castle of Amboise； against the window curtains。
There； seated in her chair； she was working at a piece of tapestry to
amuse herself； but was using her needle heedlessly； watching the rain
fall into the Loire； and was lost in thought； where her ladies were
following her example。 The king was arguing with those of his court
who had accompanied him from the chapelfor it was a question of
returning to dominical vespers。 His arguments； statements； and
reasonings finished； he looked at the queen； saw that she was
melancholy； saw that the ladies were melancholy also； and noted the
fact that they were all acquainted with the mysteries of matrimony。
〃Did I not see the Abbot of Turpenay here just now？〃 said he。
Hearing these words； there advanced towards the king the monk； who； by
his constant petitions； rendered himself so obnoxious to Louis the
Eleventh； that that monarch seriously commanded his provost…royal to
remove him from his sight； and it has been related in the first volume
of these Tales； how the monk was saved through the mistake of Sieur
Tristan。 The monk was at this time a man whose qualities had grown
rapidly； so much so that his wit had communicated a jovial hue to his
face。 He was a great favourite with the ladies； who crammed him with
wine； confectioneries； and dainty dishes at the dinners； suppers； and
merry…makings； to which they invited him； because every host likes
those cheerful guests of God with nimble jaws； who say as many words
as they put away tit…bits。 This abbot was a pernicious fellow； who
would relate to the ladies many a merry tale； at which they were only
offended when they had heard them； since； to judge them； things must
be heard。
〃My reverend father；〃 said the king； 〃behold the twilight hour； in
which ears feminine may be regaled with certain pleasant stories； for
the ladies can laugh without blushing； or blush without laughing； as
it suits them best。 Give us a good storya regular monk's story。 I
shall listen to it； i'faith； with pleasure； because I want to be
amused； and so do the ladies。〃
〃We only submit to this； in order to please your lordship；〃 said the
queen； 〃because our good friend the abbot goes a little too far。〃
〃Then；〃 replied the king； turning towards the monk； 〃read us some
Christian admonition； holy father； to amuse madame。〃
〃Sire； my sight is weak； and the day is closing。〃
〃Give us a story； then； that stops at the girdle。〃
〃Ah； sire！〃 said the monk； smiling； 〃the one I am thinking of stops
there； but it commences at the feet。〃
The lords present made such gallant remonstrances and supplications to
the queen and her ladies； that； like the good Bretonne that she was；
she gave the monk a gentle smile； and said
〃As you will； my father； but you must answer to God for our sins。〃
〃Willingly； madame； if it be your pleasure to take mine； you will be a
gainer。〃
Everyone laughed； and so did queen。 The king went and sat by his dear
wife； well beloved by him； as everyone knows。 The courtiers received
permission to be seatedthe old courtiers； of course； understood； for
the young ones stood； by the ladies' permission； beside their chairs；
to laugh at the same time as they did。 Then the Abbot of Turpenay
gra