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this very morning she spoke to me of you in very pleasant terms。〃
Tancret started and seemed so dumfounded that for a few minutes he could
find nothing to say。 Then he asked： 〃She spoke of mein pleasant
terms？〃
〃Yes。〃
〃You are sure？〃
〃Of course I am。 I am not dreaming。〃
〃And then？〃
〃And thenas I was coming to Paris I thought that I would please you by
coming to tell you the good news。〃
〃Why； yeswhy； yes〃
Bondel appeared to hesitate； then； after a short pause； he added： 〃I even
had an idea。〃
〃What is it？〃
〃To take you back home with me to dinner。〃
Tancret； who was naturally prudent； seemed a little worried by this
proposition； and he asked： 〃Oh！ reallyis it possible？ Are we not
exposing ourselves totoa scene？〃
〃No； no； indeed！〃
〃Because； you know； Madame Bendel bears malice for a long time。〃
〃Yes； but I can assure you that she no longer bears you any illwill。
I am even convinced that it will be a great pleasure for her to see you
thus； unexpectedly。〃
〃Really？〃
〃Yes； really！〃
〃Well； then！ let us go along。 I am delighted。 You see； this
misunderstanding was very unpleasant for me。〃
They set out together toward the Saint…Lazare station； arm in arm。 They
made the trip in silence。 Both seemed absorbed in deep meditation。
Seated in the car； one opposite the other； they looked at each other
without speaking； each observing that the other was pale。
Then they left the train and once more linked arms as if to unite against
some common danger。 After a walk of a few minutes they stopped； a little
out of breath； before Bondel's house。 Bondel ushered his friend into the
parlor； called the servant； and asked： 〃Is madame at home？〃
〃Yes； monsieur。〃
〃Please ask her to come down at once。〃
They dropped into two armchairs and waited。 Both were filled with the
same longing to escape before the appearance of the much…feared person。
A well…known； heavy tread could be heard descending the stairs。 A hand
moved the knob； and both men watched the brass handle turn。 Then the
door opened wide； and Madame Bondel stopped and looked to see who was
there before she entered。 She looked； blushed； trembled； retreated a
step； then stood motionless； her cheeks aflame and her hands resting
against the sides of the door frame。
Tancret； as pale as if about to faint； had arisen； letting fall his hat；
which rolled along the floor。 He stammered out： 〃Mon Dieumadameit is
II thoughtI venturedI was so sorry〃
As she did not answer； he continued： 〃Will you forgive me？〃
Then； quickly； carried away by some impulse； she walked toward him with
her hands outstretched； and when he had taken； pressed； and held these
two hands； she said； in a trembling； weak little voice； which was new to
her husband：
〃Ah！ my dear friendhow happy I am！〃
And Bondel； who was watching them； felt an icy chill run over him； as if
he had been dipped in a cold bath。
FOUND ON A DROWNED MAN
Madame； you ask me whether I am laughing at you？ You cannot believe that
a man has never been in love。 Well； then； no； no； I have never loved；
never！
Why is this？ I really cannot tell。 I have never experienced that
intoxication of the heart which we call love！ Never have I lived in that
dream； in that exaltation； in that state of madness into which the image
of a woman casts us。 I have never been pursued； haunted； roused to fever
heat； lifted up to Paradise by the thought of meeting； or by the
possession of； a being who had suddenly become for me more desirable than
any good fortune； more beautiful than any other creature； of more
consequence than the whole world！ I have never wept； I have never
suffered on account of any of you。 I have not passed my nights
sleepless； while thinking of her。 I have no experience of waking
thoughts bright with thought and memories of her。 I have never known the
wild rapture of hope before her arrival； or the divine sadness of regret
when she went from me； leaving behind her a delicate odor of violet
powder。
I have never been in love。
I have also often asked myself why this is。 And truly I can scarcely
tell。 Nevertheless I have found some reasons for it； but they are of a
metaphysical character； and perhaps you will not be able to appreciate
them。
I suppose I am too critical of women to submit to their fascination。 I
ask you to forgive me for this remark。 I will explain what I mean。 In
every creature there is a moral being and a physical being。 In order to
love； it would be necessary for me to find a harmony between these two
beings which I have never found。 One always predominates； sometimes the
moral； sometimes the physical。
The intellect which we have a right to require in a woman； in order to
love her； is not the same as the virile intellect。 It is more； and it is
less。 A woman must be frank； delicate； sensitive； refined；
impressionable。 She has no need of either power or initiative in
thought； but she must have kindness； elegance； tenderness； coquetry and
that faculty of assimilation which； in a little while； raises her to an
equality with him who shares her life。 Her greatest quality must be
tact； that subtle sense which is to the mind what touch is to the body。
It reveals to her a thousand little things； contours； angles and forms on
the plane of the intellectual。
Very frequently pretty women have not intellect to correspond with their
personal charms。 Now； the slightest lack of harmony strikes me and pains
me at the first glance。 In friendship this is not of importance。
Friendship is a compact in which one fairly shares defects and merits。
We may judge of friends； whether man or woman； giving them credit for
what is good； and overlooking what is bad in them； appreciating them at
their just value； while giving ourselves up to an intimate； intense and
charming sympathy。
In order to love； one must be blind； surrender one's self absolutely； see
nothing； question nothing； understand nothing。 One must adore the
weakness as well as the beauty of the beloved object； renounce all
judgment； all reflection； all perspicacity。
I am incapable of such blindness and rebel at unreasoning subjugation。
This is not all。 I have such a high and subtle idea of harmony that
nothing can ever fulfill my ideal。 But you will call me a madman。
Listen to me。 A woman； in my opinion； may have an exquisite soul and
charming body without that body and that soul being in perfect harmony
with one another。 I mean that persons who have noses made in a certain
shape should not be expected to think in a certain fashion。 The fat have
no right to make use of the same words and phrases as the thin。 You； who
have blue eyes； madame； cannot look at life and judge of things and
events as if you had black eyes。 The shade of your eyes should
correspond； by a sort of fatality； with the shade of your thought。 In
perceiving these things； I have the scent of a bloodhound。 Laugh if you
like； but it is so。
And yet； once I imagined that I was in love for an hour； for a day。
I had foolishly yielded to the influence of surrounding circumstances。
I allowed myself to be beguiled by a mirage of Daw