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do they know these first delicious kisses through the veil; and they
tremble at the memory of them。 And yet their sole charm lies in the
circumstances; from being late; from the anxious expectancy; but from the
purelyor; rather; impurely; if you prefersensual point of view; they
are detestable。
Think! Outside it is cold。 The young woman has walked quickly; the veil
is moist from her cold breath。 Little drops of water shine in the lace。
The lover seizes her and presses his burning lips to her liquid breath。
The moist veil; which discolors and carries the dreadful odor of chemical
dye; penetrates into the young man's mouth; moistens his mustache。 He
does not taste the lips of his beloved; he tastes the dye of this lace
moistened with cold breath。 And yet; like the poet; we would all
exclaim:
Oh! the taste of the kisses first snatched through the veil。
Therefore; the value of this caress being entirely a matter of
convention; we must be careful not to abuse it。
Well; my dear; I have several times noticed that you are very clumsy。
However; you were not alone in that fault; the majority of women lose
their authority by abusing the kiss with untimely kisses。 When they feel
that their husband or their lover is a little tired; at those times when
the heart as well as the body needs rest; instead of understanding what
is going on within him; they persist in giving inopportune caresses; tire
him by the obstinacy of begging lips and give caresses lavished with
neither rhyme nor reason。
Trust in the advice of my experience。 First; never kiss your husband in
public; in the train; at the restaurant。 It is bad taste; do not give in
to your desires。 He would feel ridiculous and would never forgive you。
Beware of useless kisses lavished in intimacy。 I am sure that you abuse
them。 For instance; I remember one day that you did something quite
shocking。 Probably you do not remember it。
All three of us were together in the drawing…room; and; as you did not
stand on ceremony before me; your husband was holding you on his knees
and kissing you at great length on the neck; the lips and throat。
Suddenly you exclaimed: 〃Oh! the fire!〃 You had been paying no attention
to it; and it was almost out。 A few lingering embers were glowing on the
hearth。 Then he rose; ran to the woodbox; from which he dragged two
enormous logs with great difficulty; when you came to him with begging
lips; murmuring:
〃Kiss me!〃 He turned his head with difficulty and tried to hold up the
logs at the same time。 Then you gently and slowly placed your mouth on
that of the poor fellow; who remained with his neck out of joint; his
sides twisted; his arms almost dropping off; trembling with fatigue and
tired from his desperate effort。 And you kept drawing out this torturing
kiss; without seeing or understanding。 Then when you freed him; you
began to grumble: 〃How badly you kiss!〃 No wonder!
Oh; take care of that! We all have this foolish habit; this unconscious
need of choosing the most inconvenient moments。 When he is carrying a
glass of water; when he is putting on his shoes; when he is tying his
scarfin short; when he finds himself in any uncomfortable position
then is the time which we choose for a caress which makes him stop for a
whole minute in the middle of a gesture with the sole desire of getting
rid of us!
Do not think that this criticism is insignificant。 Love; my dear; is a
delicate thing。 The least little thing offends it; know that everything
depends on the tact of our caresses。 An ill…placed kiss may do any
amount of harm。
Try following my advice。
Your old aunt;
COLLETTE。
This story appeared in the Gaulois in November; 1882; under the pseudonym
of 〃Maufrigneuse。〃
THE LEGION OF HONOR
HOW HE GOT THE LEGION OF HONOR
From the time some people begin to talk they seem to have an
overmastering desire or vocation。
Ever since he was a child; M。 Caillard had only had one idea in his head…
to wear the ribbon of an order。 When he was still quite a small boy he
used to wear a zinc cross of the Legion of Honor pinned on his tunic;
just as other children wear a soldier's cap; and he took his mother's
hand in the street with a proud air; sticking out his little chest with
its red ribbon and metal star so that it might show to advantage。
His studies were not a success; and he failed in his examination for
Bachelor of Arts; so; not knowing what to do; he married a pretty girl;
as he had plenty of money of his own。
They lived in Paris; as many rich middle…class people do; mixing with
their own particular set; and proud of knowing a deputy; who might
perhaps be a minister some day; and counting two heads of departments
among their friends。
But M。 Caillard could not get rid of his one absorbing idea; and he felt
constantly unhappy because he had not the right to wear a little bit of
colored ribbon in his buttonhole。
When he met any men who were decorated on the boulevards; he looked at
them askance; with intense jealousy。 Sometimes; when he had nothing to
do in the afternoon; he would count them; and say to himself: 〃Just let
me see how many I shall meet between the Madeleine and the Rue Drouot。〃
Then he would walk slowly; looking at every coat with a practiced eye for
the little bit of red ribbon; and when he had got to the end of his walk
he always repeated the numbers aloud。
〃Eight officers and seventeen knights。 As many as that! It is stupid to
sow the cross broadcast in that fashion。 I wonder how many I shall meet
going back?〃
And he returned slowly; unhappy when the crowd of passers…by interfered
with his vision。
He knew the places where most were to be found。 They swarmed in the
Palais Royal。 Fewer were seen in the Avenue de 1'Opera than in the Rue
de la Paix; while the right side of the boulevard was more frequented by
them than the left。
They also seemed to prefer certain cafes and theatres。 Whenever he saw a
group of white…haired old gentlemen standing together in the middle of
the pavement; interfering with the traffic; he used to say to himself:
〃They are officers of the Legion of Honor;〃 and he felt inclined to take
off his hat to them。
He had often remarked that the officers had a different bearing to the
mere knights。 They carried their head differently; and one felt that
they enjoyed a higher official consideration and a more widely extended
importance。
Sometimes; however; the worthy man would be seized with a furious hatred
for every one who was decorated; he felt like a Socialist toward them。
Then; when he got home; excited at meeting so many crossesjust as a
poor; hungry wretch might be on passing some dainty provision shophe
used to ask in a loud voice:
〃When shall we get rid of this wretched government?〃
And his wife would be surprised; and ask:
〃What is the matter with you to…day?〃
〃I am indignant;〃 he replied; 〃at the injustice I see going on around us。
Oh; the Communards were certainly right!〃
After dinner he would go out again and look at the shop