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for such as us。〃
They certainly were too big for the office。 Dravot's beard seemed to
fill half the room and Carnehan's shoulders the other half； as they sat on
the big table。 Carnehan continued： 〃The country isn't half worked out
because they that governs it won't let you touch it。 They spend all their
blessed time in governing it； and you can't lift a spade； nor chip a rock； nor
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look for oil； nor anything like that； without all the Government saying；
'Leave it alone； and let us govern。' Therefore； such /as/ it is； we will let it
alone； and go away to some other place where a man isn't crowded and
can come to his own。 We are not little men； and there is nothing that we
are afraid of except Drink； and we have signed a Contrack on that。
/Therefore/ we are going away to be Kings。〃
〃Kings in our own right；〃 muttered Dravot。
〃Yes； of course；〃 I said。 〃You've been tramping in the sun； and it's a
very warm night； and hadn't you better sleep over the notion？ Come to…
morrow。〃
〃Neither drunk nor sunstruck；〃 said Dravot。 〃We have slept over the
notion half a year； and require to see Books and Atlases； and we have
decided that there is only one place now in the world that two strong men
can Sar…a…/whack/。 They call it Kafiristan。 By my reckoning it's the top
right…hand corner of Afghanistan； not more than three hundred miles from
Peshawar。 They have two and thirty heathen idols there； and we'll be the
thirty…third and fourth。 It's a mountaineous country； the women of those
parts are very beautiful。〃
〃But that is provided against in the Contrack；〃 said Carnehan。 〃Neither
Women nor Liqu…or； Daniel。〃
〃And that's all we know； except that no one has gone there； and they
fight； and in any place where they fight a man who knows how to drill
men can always be a King。 We shall go to those parts and say to any King
we find； 'D' you want to vanquish your foes？' and we will show him how
to drill men； for that we know better than anything else。 Then we will
subvert that King and seize his Throne and establish a Dy…nasty。〃
〃You'll be cut to pieces before you're fifty miles across the Border；〃 I
said。 〃You have to travel through Afghanistan to get to that country。 It's
one mass of mountains and peaks and glaciers； and no Englishman has
been through it。 The people are utter brutes； and even if you reached them
you couldn't do anything。〃 〃That's more like；〃 said Carnehan。 〃If you
could think us a little more mad we would be more pleased。 We have come
to you to know about this country； to read a book about it； and to be shown
maps。 We want you to tell us that we are fools and to show us your
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books。〃 He turned to the bookcases。
〃Are you at all in earnest？〃 I said。
〃A little；〃 said Dravot； sweetly。 〃As big a map as you have got； even if
it's all blank where Kafiristan is； and any books you've got。 We can read；
though we aren't very educated。〃
I uncased the big thirty…two…miles…to…the…inch map of India and two
smaller Frontier maps； hauled down volume INF…KAN of the
〃Encyclopaedia Britannica；〃 and the men consulted them。
〃See here！〃 said Dravot； his thumb on the map。 〃Up to Jagdallak；
Peachey and me know the road。 We was there with Robert's Army。 We'll
have to turn off to the right at Jagdallak through Laghmann territory。 Then
we get among the hillsfourteen thousand feetfifteen thousand it will
be cold work there； but it don't look very far on the map。〃
I handed him Wood on the 〃Sources of the Oxus。〃 Carnehan was deep
in the 〃Encyclopaedia。〃
〃They're a mixed lot；〃 said Dravot； reflectively； 〃and it won't help us
to know the names of their tribes。 The more tribes the more they'll fight；
and the better for us。 From Jagdallak to Ashang。 H'mm！〃
〃But all the information about the country is as sketchy and inaccurate
as can be；〃 I protested。 〃No one knows anything about it really。 Here's the
file of the 'United Services' Institute。' Read what Bellew says。〃
〃Blow Bellew！〃 said Carnehan。 〃Dan； they're a stinkin' lot of heathens；
but this book here says they think they're related to us English。〃
I smoked while the men poured over Raverty； Wood； the maps； and the
〃Encyclopaedia。〃
〃There is no use your waiting；〃 said Dravot； politely。 〃It's about four
o'clock now。 We'll go before six o'clock if you want to sleep； and we won't
steal any of the papers。 Don't you sit up。 We're two harmless lunatics； and
if you come to…morrow evening down to the Serai we'll say good…bye to
you。〃
〃You /are/ two fools；〃 I answered。 〃You'll be turned back at the
Frontier or cut up the minute you set foot in Afghanistan。 Do you want any
money or a recommendation down…country？ I can help you to the chance
of work next week。〃
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〃Next week we shall be hard at work ourselves； thank you；〃 said
Dravot。 〃It isn't so easy being a King as it looks。 When we've got our
Kingdom in going order we'll let you know； and you can come up and help
us govern it。〃
〃Would two lunatics make a Contrack like that？〃 said Carnehan； with
subdued pride； showing me a greasy half…sheet of notepaper on which was
written the following。 I copied it； then and there； as a curiosity。
This Contracx between me and you persuing witnesseth in the
name of GodAmen and so forth。
（One） That me and you will settle this matter
together； i。e。； to be Kings of Kafiristan。
（Two） That you and me will not； while this
matter is being settled； look at any Liquor； nor any
Woman； black； white； or brown； so as to get mixed up
with one or the other harmful。
（Three） That we conduct ourselves with Dignity
and Discretion； and if one of us gets into trouble the
other will stay by him。
Signed by you and me thi