按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
confidence in his capacity and his loyalty。 Take him as your
defender and adviser； make him your slave。 However occupied； he
will always find time to be devoted to you。 I have placed the
liquidation of my affairs and the payment of the debts in his
hands。 If he should advance some sum of which he should later feel
in need I rely on you to pay it back。 Remember； however； that I do
not leave you to de Marsay； but TO YOURSELF； I do not seek to
impose him upon you。
Alas！ I have but an hour more to stay beside you； I cannot spend
that hour in writing businessI count your breaths； I try to
guess your thoughts in the slight motions of your sleep。 I would I
could infuse my blood into your veins that you might be a part of
me； my thought your thought； and your heart mineA murmur has
just escaped your lips as though it were a soft reply。 Be calm and
beautiful forever as you are now！ Ah！ would that I possessed that
fabulous fairy power which； with a wand； could make you sleep
while I am absent； until； returning； I should wake you with a
kiss。
How much I must love you； how much energy of soul I must possess；
to leave you as I see you now！ Adieu； my cherished one。 Your poor
Pink of Fashion is blown away by stormy winds； butthe wings of
his good luck shall waft him back to you。 No； my Ninie； I am not
bidding you farewell； for I shall never leave you。 Are you not the
soul of my actions？ Is not the hope of returning with happiness
indestructible for YOU the end and aim of my endeavor？ Does it not
lead my every step？ You will be with me everywhere。 Ah！ it will
not be the sun of India； but the fire of your eyes that lights my
way。 Therefore be happyas happy as a woman can be without her
lover。 I would the last kiss that I take from those dear lips were
not a passive one； but； my Ninie； my adored one； I will not wake
you。 When you wake； you will find a tear upon your foreheadmake
it a talisman！ Think； think of him who may； perhaps； die for you；
far from you； think less of the husband than of the lover who
confides you to God。
From the Comtesse de Manerville to her husband：
Dear； beloved one；Your letter has plunged me into affliction。
Had you the right to take this course； which must affect us
equally； without consulting me？ Are you free？ Do you not belong to
me？ If you must go； why should I not follow you？ You show me；
Paul； that I am not indispensable to you。 What have I done； to be
deprived of my rights？ Surely I count for something in this ruin。
My luxuries have weighed somewhat in the scale。 You make me curse
the happy； careless life we have led for the last five years。 To
know that you are banished from France for years is enough to kill
me。 How soon can a fortune be made in India？ Will you ever return？
I was right when I refused； with instinctive obstinacy； that
separation as to property which my mother and you were so
determined to carry out。 What did I tell you then？ Did I not warn
you that it was casting a reflection upon you； and would ruin your
credit？ It was not until you were really angry that I gave way。
My dear Paul； never have you been so noble in my eyes as you are
at this moment。 To despair of nothing； to start courageously to
seek a fortune！ Only your character； your strength of mind could
do it。 I sit at your feet。 A man who avows his weakness with your
good faith； who rebuilds his fortune from the same motive that
made him wreck it； for love's sake； for the sake of an
irresistible passion； oh； Paul； that man is sublime！ Therefore；
fear nothing； go on； through all obstacles； not doubting your
Nataliefor that would be doubting yourself。 Poor darling； you
mean to live in me？ And I shall ever be in you。 I shall not be
here； I shall be wherever you are； wherever you go。
Though your letter has caused me the keenest pain； it has also
filled me with joyyou have made me know those two extremes！
Seeing how you love me； I have been proud to learn that my love is
truly felt。 Sometimes I have thought that I loved you more than
you loved me。 Now； I admit myself vanquished； you have added the
delightful superiorityof lovingto all the others with which
you are blest。 That precious letter in which your soul reveals
itself will lie upon my heart during all your absence； for my
soul； too； is in it； that letter is my glory。
I shall go to live at Lanstrac with my mother。 I die to the world；
I will economize my income and pay your debts to their last
farthing。 From this day forth； Paul； I am another woman。 I bid
farewell forever to society； I will have no pleasures that you
cannot share。 Besides； Paul； I ought to leave Paris and live in
retirement。 Dear friend； you will soon have a noble reason to make
your fortune。 If your courage needed a spur you would find it in
this。 Cannot you guess？ We shall have a child。 Your cherished
desires are granted。 I feared to give you one of those false hopes
which hurt so muchhave we not had grief enough already on that
score？ I was determined not to be mistaken in this good news。
To…day I feel certain； and it makes me happy to shed this joy upon
your sorrows。
This morning； fearing nothing and thinking you still at home； I
went to the Assumption； all things smiled upon me； how could I
foresee misfortune？ As I left the church I met my mother； she had
heard of your distress； and came； by post； with all her savings；
thirty thousand francs； hoping to help you。 Ah！ what a heart is
hers； Paul！ I felt joyful； and hurried home to tell you this good
news； and to breakfast with you in the greenhouse； where I ordered
just the dainties that you like。 Well； Augustine brought me your
letter；a letter from you； when we had slept together！ A cold
fear seized me； it was like a dream！ I read your letter！ I read it
weeping； and my mother shared my tears。 I was half…dead。 Such
love； such courage； such happiness； such misery！ The richest
fortunes of the heart； and the momentary ruin of all interests！ To
lose you at a moment when my admiration of your greatness thrilled
me！ what woman could have resisted such a tempest of emotion？ To
know you far away when your hand upon my heart would have stilled
its throbbings； to feel that YOU were not here to give me that
look so precious to me； to rejoice in our new hopes； that I was
not with you to soften your sorrows by those caresses which made
your Natalie so dear to you！ I wished to start； to follow you； to
fly to you。 But my mother told me you had taken passage in a ship
which leaves Bordeaux to…morrow； that I could not reach you except
by post； and； moreover； that it was madness in my present state to
risk our future by attempting to follow you。 I could not bear such
violent emotions； I was taken ill； and am writing to you n