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… Page 15…
Evergreens
But the saddest story I ever heard in connection with a bull…dog； was
one told by my aunt herself。
Now you can rely upon this story； because it is not one of mine； it is
one of my aunt's； and she would scorn to tell a lie。 This is a story you
could tell to the heathen； and feel that you were teaching them the truth
and doing them good。 They give this story out at all the Sunday…schools
in our part of the country； and draw moral lessons from it。 It is a story
that a little child can believe。
It happened in the old crinoline days。 My aunt； who was then living
in a country…town； had gone out shopping one morning； and was standing
in the High Street； talking to a lady friend； a Mrs。 Gumworthy； the doctor's
wife。 She （my aunt） had on a new crinoline that morning； in which； to
use her own expression； she rather fancied herself。 It was a tremendously
big one； as stiff as a wire…fence； and it 〃set〃 beautifully。
They were standing in front of Jenkins'； the draper's； and my aunt
thinks that itthe crinolinemust have got caught up in something； and an
opening thus left between it and the ground。 However this may be；
certain it is that an absurdly large and powerful bull…dog； who was fooling
round about there at the time； managed； somehow or other； to squirm in
under my aunt's crinoline； and effectually imprison himself beneath it。
Finding himself suddenly in a dark and gloomy chamber； the dog；
naturally enough； got frightened； and made frantic rushes to get out。 But
whichever way he charged； there was the crinoline in front of him。 As he
flew； he； of course； carried it before him； and with the crinoline； of course；
went my aunt。
But nobody knew the explanation。 My aunt herself did not know
what had happened。 Nobody had seen the dog creep inside the crinoline。
All that the people did see was a staid and eminently respectable middle…
aged lady suddenly； and without any apparent reason； throw her umbrella
down in the road； fly up the High Street at the rate of ten miles an hour；
rush across it at the imminent risk of her life； dart down it again on the
other side； rush sideways； like an excited crab； into a grocer's shop； run
three times round the shop； upsetting the whole stock…in…trade； come out
of the shop backward and knock down a postman； dash into the roadway
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… Page 16…
Evergreens
and spin round twice； hover for a moment； undecided； on the curb； and
then away up the hill again； as if she had only just started； all the while
screaming out at the top of her voice for somebody to stop her！
Of course； everybody thought she was mad。 The people flew before
her like chaff before the wind。 In less than five seconds the High Street
was a desert。 The townsfolk scampered into their shops and houses and
barricaded the doors。 Brave men dashed out and caught up little children
and bore them to places of safety amid cheers。 Carts and carriages were
abandoned； while the drivers climbed up lamp…posts！
What would have happened had the affair gone on much longer
whether my aunt would have been shot； or the fire…engine brought into
requisition against herit is impossible； having regard to the terrified state
of the crowd； to say。 Fortunately for her； she became exhausted。 With
one despairing shriek she gave way； and sat down on the dog； and peace
reigned once again in that sweet rural town。
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