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The laugh she gave was an embarrassed one； but through it vibrated
a pleased ring。
〃Nonsense！〃 she exclaimed； springing to her feet and moving
restlessly about the room。 With the next breath she had changed
the subject to one far removed from Mr。 Cyril and his likes and
dislikes。
Some time later Billy played； and it was then that Marie drew a
long sigh。
〃How beautiful it must be to playlike that；〃 she breathed。
〃As if you； a music teacher； could not play！〃 laughed Billy。
〃Not like that； dear。 You know it is not like that。〃
Billy frowned。
〃But you are so accurate； Marie； and you can read at sight so
rapidly！〃
〃Oh； yes； like a little machine； I know！〃 scorned the usually
gentle Marie； bitterly。 〃Don't they have a thing of metal that
adds figures like magic？ Well； I'm like that。 I see g and I play
g； I see d and I play d； I see f and I play f； and after I've seen
enough g's and d's and f's and played them all； the thing is done。
I've played。〃
〃Why； Marie！ Marie； my dear！〃 The second exclamation was very
tender； for Marie was crying。
〃There！ I knew I should some day have it outall out；〃 sobbed
Marie。 〃I felt it coming。〃
〃Then perhaps you'llyou'll feel better now；〃 stammered Billy。
She tried to say moreother words that would have been a real
comfort； but her tongue refused to speak them。 She knew so well；
so woefully well； how very wooden and mechanical the little music
teacher's playing always had been。 But that Marie should realize
it herself like thisthe tragedy of it made Billy's heart ache。
At Marie's next words； however； Billy caught her breath in
surprise。
〃But you see it wasn't musicit wasn't ever music that I wanted
to do；〃 she confessed。
〃It wasn't music！ But whatI don't understand；〃 murmured Billy。
〃No； I suppose not；〃 sighed the other。 〃You play so beautifully
yourself。〃
〃But I thought you loved music。〃
〃I do。 I love it dearlyin others。 But I can'tI don't want to
make it myself。〃
〃But what do you want to do？〃
Marie laughed suddenly。
〃Do you know； my dear； I have half a mind to tell you what I do
like to dojust to make you stare。〃
〃Well？〃 Billy's eyes were wide with interest。
〃I like best of anything todarn stockings and make puddings。〃
〃Marie！〃
〃Rank heresy； isn't it？〃 smiled Marie； tearfully。 〃But I do；
truly。 I love to weave the threads evenly in and out； and see a
big hole close。 As for the puddings I don't mean the common bread…
and…butter kind； but the ones that have whites of eggs and fruit；
and pretty quivery jellies all ruby and amber lights； you know。〃
〃You dear little piece of domesticity；〃 laughed Billy。 〃Then why
in the world don't you do these things？〃
〃I can't； in my own kitchen； I can't afford a kitchen to do them
in。 And I just couldn't do themright alongin other people's
kitchens。〃
〃But why do youplay？〃
〃I was brought up to it。 You know we had money once； lots of it；〃
sighed Marie； as if she were deploring a misfortune。 〃And mother
was determined to have me musical。 Even then； as a little tot； I
liked pudding…making； and after my mud…pie days I was always
begging mother to let me go down into the kitchen； to cook。 But
she wouldn't allow it； ever。 She engaged the most expensive
masters and set me practising； always practising。 I simply had to
learn music； and I learned it like the adding machine。 Then
afterward； when father died； and then mother； and the money flew
away； why； of course I had to do something； so naturally I turned
to the music。 It was all I could do。 Butwell； you know how it
is； dear。 I teach； and teach well； perhaps； so far as the
mechanical part goes； but as for the restI am always longing for
a cozy corner with a basket of stockings to mend； or a kitchen
where there is a pudding waiting to be made。〃
〃You poor dear！〃 cried Billy。 〃I've a pair of stockings now that
needs attention； and I've been just longing for one of your
'quivery jellies all ruby and amber lights' ever since you
mentioned them。 Butwell； is there anything I could do to help？〃
〃Nothing； thank you；〃 sighed Marie； rising wearily to her feet； and
covering her eyes with her hand for a moment。 〃My head aches
shockingly； but I've got to go this minute and instruct little
Jennie Knowls how to play the wonderful scale of G with a black key
in it。 Besides； you do help me； you have helped me； you are always
helping me； dear；〃 she added remorsefully； 〃and it's wicked of me
to make that shadow come to your eyes。 Please don't think of it；
or of me； any more。〃 And with a choking little sob she hurried
from the room； followed by the amazed； questioning； sorrowful eyes
of Billy。
CHAPTER XXVIII
〃I'M GOING TO WIN〃
Nearly all of Billy's friends knew that Bertram Henshaw was in love
with Billy Neilson before Billy herself knew it。 Not that they
regarded it as anything serious〃it's only Bertram〃 was still said
of him on almost all occasions。 But to Bertram himself it was very
serious。
The world to Bertram； indeed； had come to assume a vastly different
aspect from what it had displayed in times past。 Heretofore it had
been a plaything which like a juggler's tinsel ball might be tossed
from hand to hand at will。 Now it was no playthingno glittering
bauble。 It was something big and serious and splendidbecause
Billy lived in it； something that demanded all his powers to do；
and bebecause Billy was watching； something that might be a Hades
of torment or an Elysium of blissaccording to whether Billy said
〃no〃 or 〃yes。〃
Since Thanksgiving Bertram had known that it was lovethis
consuming fire within him； and since Thanksgiving he had known；
too； that it was jealousythis fierce hatred of Calderwell。 He
was ashamed of the hatred。 He told himself that it was unmanly；
unkind； and unreasonable； and he vowed that he would overcome it。
At times he even fancied that he had overcome it； but always the
sight of Calderwell in Billy's little drawing…room or of even the
man's card on Billy's silver tray was enough to show him that he
had not。
There were others； too； who annoyed Bertram not a little； foremost
of these being his own brothers。 Still he was not really worried
about William and Cyril； he told himself。 William he did not
consider to be a marrying man； and Cyrilevery one knew that Cyril
was a woman…hater。 He was doubtless attracted now only by Billy's
music。 There was no real rivalry to be feared from William and
Cyril。 But there was always Calderwell； and Calderwell was
serious。 Bertram decided； therefore； after some weeks of feverish
unrest； that the only road to peace lay through a frank avowal of
his feelings； and a direct appeal to Billy to give him the great
boon of her love。
Just here； however； Bertram met with an unexpected difficulty。 He
could not find words with which to make his avowal or to present
his appeal。 He was surprised and annoyed。 Never before had he
been at a loss for wordsmere words。 And it was not that he
lacked opportunity。 He walked； drove； and talked with Billy； and
always she was companionable； attentive to what he had to say。
Never was she cold or reserved。 Never did s