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Passages from an Old Volume of Life
by Oliver W。 Holmes
PAGES FROM AN OLD VOLUME OF LIFE。
A COLLECTION OF ESSAYS
BY OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES
CONTENTS：
BREAD AND THE NEWSPAPER
MY HUNT AFTER 〃THE CAPTAIN〃
THE INEVITABLE TRIAL
CINDERS FROM ASHES
THE PULPIT AND THE PEW
BREAD AND THE NEWSPAPER。
（September； 1861。）
This is the new version of the Panem et Circenses of the Roman populace。 It is our ultimatum； as that was theirs。 They must have something to eat； and the circus…shows to look at。 We must have something to eat； and the papers to read。
Everything else we can give up。 If we are rich； we can lay down our carriages； stay away from Newport or Saratoga； and adjourn the trip to Europe sine die。 If we live in a small way； there are at least new dresses and bonnets and every…day luxuries which we can dispense with。 If the young Zouave of the family looks smart in his new uniform； its respectable head is content； though he himself grow seedy as a caraway…umbel late in the season。 He will cheerfully calm the perturbed nap of his old beaver by patient brushing in place of buying a new one； if only the Lieutenant's jaunty cap is what it should be。 We all take a pride in sharing the epidemic economy of the time。 Only bread and the newspaper we must have； whatever else we do without。
How this war is simplifying our mode of being！ We live on our emotions； as the sick man is said in the common speech to be nourished by his fever。 Our ordinary mental food has become distasteful； and what would have been intellectual luxuries at other times； are now absolutely repulsive。
All this change in our manner of existence implies that we have experienced some very profound impression； which will sooner or later betray itself in permanent effects on the minds and bodies of many among us。 We cannot forget Corvisart's observation of the frequency with which diseases of the heart were noticed as the consequence of the terrible emotions produced by the scenes of the great French Revolution。 Laennec tells the story of a convent； of which he was the medical director； where all the nuns were subjected to the severest penances and schooled in the most painful doctrines。 They all became consumptive soon after their entrance； so that； in the course of his ten years' attendance； all the inmates died out two or three times； and were replaced by new ones。 He does not hesitate to attribute the disease from which they suffered to those depressing moral influences to which they were subjected。
So far we have noticed little more than disturbances of the nervous system as a consequence of the war excitement in non…combatants。 Take the first trifling example which comes to our recollection。 A sad disaster to the Federal army was told the other day in the presence of two gentlemen and a lady。 Both the gentlemen complained of a sudden feeling at the epigastrium； or； less learnedly； the pit of the stomach； changed color； and confessed to a slight tremor about the knees。 The lady had a 〃grande revolution；〃 as French patients say； went home； and kept her bed for the rest of the day。 Perhaps the reader may smile at the mention of such trivial indispositions； but in more sensitive natures death itself follows in some cases from no more serious cause。 An old； gentleman fell senseless in fatal apoplexy； on hearing of Napoleon's return from Elba。 One of our early friends； who recently died of the same complaint； was thought to have had his attack mainly in consequence of the excitements of the time。
We all know what the war fever is in our young men；what a devouring passion it becomes in those whom it assails。 Patriotism is the fire of it； no doubt； but this is fed with fuel of all sorts。 The love of adventure； the contagion of example； the fear of losing the chance of participating in the great events of the time； the desire of personal distinction； all help to produce those singular transformations which we often witness； turning the most peaceful of our youth into the most ardent of our soldiers。 But something of the same fever in a different form reaches a good many non…combatants； who have no thought of losing a drop of precious blood belonging to themselves or their families。 Some of the symptoms we shall mention are almost universal； they are as plain in the people we meet everywhere as the marks of an influenza； when that is prevailing。
The first is a nervous restlessness of a very peculiar character。 Men cannot think； or write； or attend to their ordinary business。 They stroll up and down the streets； or saunter out upon the public places。 We confessed to an illustrious author that we laid down the volume of his work which we were reading when the war broke out。 It was as interesting as a romance； but the romance of the past grew pale before the red light of the terrible present。 Meeting the same author not long afterwards； he confessed that he had laid down his pen at the same time that we had closed his book。 He could not write about the sixteenth century any more than we could read about it； while the nineteenth was in the very agony and bloody sweat of its great sacrifice。
Another most eminent scholar told us in all simplicity that he had fallen into such a state that he would read the same telegraphic dispatches over and over again in different papers； as if they were new； until he felt as if he were an idiot。 Who did not do just the same thing； and does not often do it still； now that the first flush of the fever is over？ Another person always goes through the side streets on his way for the noon extra；he is so afraid somebody will meet him and tell the news he wishes to read； first on the bulletin… board； and then in the great capitals and leaded type of the newspaper。
When any startling piece of war…news comes； it keeps repeating itself in our minds in spite of all we can do。 The same trains of thought go tramping round in circle through the brain； like the supernumeraries that make up the grand army of a stage…show。 Now； if a thought goes round through the brain a thousand times in a day； it will have worn as deep a track as one which has passed through it once a week for twenty years。 This accounts for the ages we seem to have lived since the twelfth of April last； and； to state it more generally； for that ex post facto operation of a great calamity； or any very powerful impression； which we once illustrated by the image of a stain spreading backwards from the leaf of life open before as through all those which we have already turned。
Blessed are those who can sleep quietly in times like these！ Yet； not wholly blessed； either； for what is more painful than the awaking from peaceful unconsciousness to a sense that there is something wrong； we cannot at first think what；and then groping our way about through the twilight of our thoughts until we come full upon the misery； which； like some evil bird； seemed to have flown away； but which sits waiting for us on its perch by our pillow in the gray of the morning？
The converse of this is perhaps still more painful。 Many have the feeling in their waking hours that the tr