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made at once for the common entrance and sealed the stair。
We were admitted by a very sour…looking female in bombazine。 I
gathered she had all her life been depressed by a series of
bereavements； the last of which might very well have befallen her
the day before； and I instinctively lowered my voice when I
addressed her。 She admitted she had rooms to let … even showed
them to us … a sitting…room and bedroom in a SUITE； commanding a
fine prospect to the Firth and Fifeshire； and in themselves well
proportioned and comfortably furnished； with pictures on the wall；
shells on the mantelpiece； and several books upon the table which I
found afterwards to be all of a devotional character； and all
presentation copies； 'to my Christian friend；' or 'to my devout
acquaintance in the Lord； Bethiah McRankine。' Beyond this my
'Christian friend' could not be made to advance： no； not even to do
that which seemed the most natural and pleasing thing in the world
… I mean to name her price … but stood before us shaking her head；
and at times mourning like the dove； the picture of depression and
defence。 She had a voice the most querulous I have ever heard； and
with this she produced a whole regiment of difficulties and
criticisms。
She could not promise an attendance。
'Well； madam；' said I； 'and what is my servant for？'
'Him？' she asked。 'Be gude to us！ Is HE your servant？'
'I am sorry； ma'am； he meets with your disapproval。'
'Na； I never said that。 But he's young。 He'll be a great breaker；
I'm thinkin'。 Ay！ he'll be a great responsibeelity to ye； like。
Does he attend to his releegion？'
'Yes； m'm；' returned Rowley； with admirable promptitude； and；
immediately closing his eyes； as if from habit； repeated the
following distich with more celerity than fervour：…
'Matthew； Mark； Luke and John
Bless the bed that I lie on！'
'Nhm！' said the lady； and maintained an awful silence。
'Well； ma'am；' said I； 'it seems we are never to hear the beginning
of your terms； let alone the end of them。 Come … a good movement！
and let us be either off or on。'
She opened her lips slowly。 'Ony raferences？' she inquired； in a
voice like a bell。
I opened my pocket…book and showed her a handful of bank bills。 'I
think； madam； that these are unexceptionable；' said I。
'Ye'll be wantin' breakfast late？' was her reply。
'Madam； we want breakfast at whatever hour it suits you to give it；
from four in the morning till four in the afternoon！' I cried。
'Only tell us your figure； if your mouth be large enough to let it
out！'
'I couldnae give ye supper the nicht；' came the echo。
'We shall go out to supper； you incorrigible female！' I vowed；
between laughter and tears。 'Here … this is going to end！ I want
you for a landlady … let me tell you that！ … and I am going to have
my way。 You won't tell me what you charge？ Very well； I will do
without！ I can trust you！ You don't seem to know when you have a
good lodger； but I know perfectly when I have an honest landlady！
Rowley； unstrap the valises！'
Will it be credited？ The monomaniac fell to rating me for my
indiscretion！ But the battle was over； these were her last guns；
and more in the nature of a salute than of renewed hostilities。
And presently she condescended on very moderate terms； and Rowley
and I were able to escape in quest of supper。 Much time had；
however； been lost； the sun was long down； the lamps glimmered
along the streets； and the voice of a watchman already resounded in
the neighbouring Leith Road。 On our first arrival I had observed a
place of entertainment not far off； in a street behind the Register
House。 Thither we found our way； and sat down to a late dinner
alone。 But we had scarce given our orders before the door opened；
and a tall young fellow entered with something of a lurch； looked
about him； and approached the same table。
'Give you good evening； most grave and reverend seniors！' said he。
'Will you permit a wanderer； a pilgrim … the pilgrim of love； in
short … to come to temporary anchor under your lee？ I care not who
knows it； but I have a passionate aversion from the bestial
practice of solitary feeding！'
'You are welcome； sir；' said I； 'if I may take upon me so far to
play the host in a public place。'
He looked startled； and fixed a hazy eye on me； as he sat down。
'Sir；' said he； 'you are a man not without some tincture of
letters； I perceive！ What shall we drink； sir？'
I mentioned I had already called for a pot of porter。
'A modest pot … the seasonable quencher？' said he。 'Well； I do not
know but what I could look at a modest pot myself！ I am； for the
moment； in precarious health。 Much study hath heated my brain；
much walking wearied my … well； it seems to be more my eyes！'
'You have walked far； I dare say？' I suggested。
'Not so much far as often；' he replied。 'There is in this city …
to which； I think； you are a stranger？ Sir； to your very good
health and our better acquaintance！ … there is； in this city of
Dunedin； a certain implication of streets which reflects the utmost
credit on the designer and the publicans … at every hundred yards
is seated the Judicious Tavern； so that persons of contemplative
mind are secure； at moderate distances； of refreshment。 I have
been doing a trot in that favoured quarter； favoured by art and
nature。 A few chosen comrades … enemies of publicity and friends
to wit and wine … obliged me with their society。 〃Along the cool；
sequestered vale of Register Street we kept the uneven tenor of our
way；〃 sir。'
'It struck me； as you came in … ' I began。
'O； don't make any bones about it！' he interrupted。 'Of course it
struck you！ and let me tell you I was devilish lucky not to strike
myself。 When I entered this apartment I shone 〃with all the pomp
and prodigality of brandy and water；〃 as the poet Gray has in
another place expressed it。 Powerful bard； Gray！ but a niminy…
piminy creature； afraid of a petticoat and a bottle … not a man；
sir； not a man！ Excuse me for being so troublesome； but what the
devil have I done with my fork？ Thank you； I am sure。 TEMULENTIA；
QUOAD ME IPSUM； BREVIS COLLIGO EST。 I sit and eat； sir； in a
London fog。 I should bring a link…boy to table with me； and I
would too； if the little brutes were only washed！ I intend to
found a Philanthropical Society for Washing the Deserving Poor and
Shaving Soldiers。 I am pleased to observe that； although not of an
unmilitary bearing； you are apparently shaved。 In my calendar of
the virtues shaving comes next to drinking。 A gentleman may be a
low…minded ruffian without sixpence； but he will always be close
shaved。 See me； with the eye of fancy； in the chill hours of the
morning； say about a quarter to twelve； noon … see me awake！ First
thing of all；