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'We will see about that;' says he; and then; addressing the
assistants; 'where does the constable live?'
'Lord love you; sir!' cried the landlord; 'what are you thinking
of? The constable at past ten at night! Why; he's abed and
asleep; and good and drunk two hours agone!'
'Ah that a' be!' came in chorus from the yokels。
The attorney's clerk was put to a stand。 He could not think of
force; there was little sign of martial ardour about the landlord;
and the peasants were indifferent … they only listened; and gaped;
and now scratched a head; and now would get a light to their pipes
from the embers on the hearth。 On the other hand; the Major and I
put a bold front on the business and defied him; not without some
ground of law。 In this state of matters he proposed I should go
along with him to one Squire Merton; a great man of the
neighbourhood; who was in the commission of the peace; the end of
his avenue but three lanes away。 I told him I would not stir a
foot for him if it were to save his soul。 Next he proposed I
should stay all night where I was; and the constable could see to
my affair in the morning; when he was sober。 I replied I should go
when and where I pleased; that we were lawful travellers in the
fear of God and the king; and I for one would suffer myself to be
stayed by nobody。 At the same time; I was thinking the matter had
lasted altogether too long; and I determined to bring it to an end
at once。
'See here;' said I; getting up; for till now I had remained
carelessly seated; 'there's only one way to decide a thing like
this … only one way that's right ENGLISH … and that's man to man。
Take off your coat; sir; and these gentlemen shall see fair play。'
At this there came a look in his eye that I could not mistake。 His
education had been neglected in one essential and eminently British
particular: he could not box。 No more could I; you may say; but
then I had the more impudence … and I had made the proposal。
'He says I'm no Englishman; but the proof of the pudding is the
eating of it;' I continued。 And here I stripped my coat and fell
into the proper attitude; which was just about all I knew of this
barbarian art。 'Why; sir; you seem to me to hang back a little;'
said I。 'Come; I'll meet you; I'll give you an appetiser … though
hang me if I can understand the man that wants any enticement to
hold up his hands。' I drew a bank…note out of my fob and tossed it
to the landlord。 'There are the stakes;' said I。 'I'll fight you
for first blood; since you seem to make so much work about it。 If
you tap my claret first; there are five guineas for you; and I'll
go with you to any squire you choose to mention。 If I tap yours;
you'll perhaps let on that I'm the better man; and allow me to go
about my lawful business at my own time and convenience; by God; is
that fair; my lads?' says I; appealing to the company。
'Ay; ay;' said the chorus of chawbacons; 'he can't say no fairer
nor that; he can't。 Take off thy coat master!'
The limb of the law was now on the wrong side of public opinion;
and; what heartened me to go on; the position was rapidly changing
in our favour。 Already the Major was paying his shot to the very
indifferent landlord; and I could see the white face of King at the
back…door; making signals of haste。
'Oho!' quoth my enemy; 'you are as full of doubles as a fox; are
you not? But I see through you; I see through and through you。
You would change the venue; would you?'
'I may be transparent; sir;' says I; 'but if you'll do me the
favour to stand up; you'll find I can hit dam hard。'
'Which is a point; if you will observe; that I had never called in
question;' said he。 'Why; you ignorant clowns;' he proceeded;
addressing the company; 'can't you see the fellow's gulling you
before your eyes? Can't you see that he has changed the point upon
me? I say he's a French prisoner; and he answers that he can box!
What has that to do with it? I would not wonder but what he can
dance; too … they're all dancing masters over there。 I say; and I
stick to it; that he's a Frenchy。 He says he isn't。 Well then;
let him out with his papers; if he has them! If he had; would he
not show them? If he had; would he not jump at the idea of going
to Squire Merton; a man you all know? Now; you are all plain;
straightforward Bedfordshire men; and I wouldn't ask a better lot
to appeal to。 You're not the kind to be talked over with any
French gammon; and he's plenty of that。 But let me tell him; he
can take his pigs to another market; they'll never do here; they'll
never go down in Bedfordshire。 Why! look at the man! Look at his
feet! Has anybody got a foot in the room like that? See how he
stands! do any of you fellows stand like that? Does the landlord;
there? Why; he has Frenchman wrote all over him; as big as a sign…
post!'
This was all very well; and in a different scene I might even have
been gratified by his remarks; but I saw clearly; if I were to
allow him to talk; he might turn the tables on me altogether。 He
might not be much of a hand at boxing; but I was much mistaken; or
he had studied forensic eloquence in a good school。 In this
predicament I could think of nothing more ingenious than to burst
out of the house; under the pretext of an ungovernable rage。 It
was certainly not very ingenious … it was elementary; but I had no
choice。
'You white…livered dog!' I broke out。 'Do you dare to tell me
you're an Englishman; and won't fight? But I'll stand no more of
this! I leave this place; where I've been insulted! Here! what's
to pay? Pay yourself!' I went on; offering the landlord a handful
of silver; 'and give me back my bank…note!'
The landlord; following his usual policy of obliging everybody;
offered no opposition to my design。 The position of my adversary
was now thoroughly bad。 He had lost my two companions。 He was on
the point of losing me also。 There was plainly no hope of arousing
the company to help; and watching him with a corner of my eye; I
saw him hesitate for a moment。 The next; he had taken down his hat
and his wig; which was of black horsehair; and I saw him draw from
behind the settle a vast hooded great…coat and a small valise。
'The devil!' thought I: 'is the rascal going to follow me?'
I was scarce clear of the inn before the limb of the law was at my
heels。 I saw his face plain in the moonlight; and the most
resolute purpose showed in it; along with an unmoved composure。 A
chill went over me。 'This is no common adventure;' thinks I to
myself。 'You have got hold of a man of character; St。 Ives! A
bite…hard; a bull…dog; a weasel is on your trail; and how are you
to throw him off?' Who was he? By some of his expressions I
judged he was a hanger…on of courts。 But in what character had he
foll