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sanctity of eternal law。 And Gordon's fatalism was no exception。
The same doctrine that led him to dally with omens； to search for
prophetic texts； and to append； in brackets； the apotropaic
initials D。V。 after every statement in his letters implying
futurity； led him also to envisage his moods and his desires； his
passing reckless whims and his deep unconscious instincts； as the
mysterious manifestations of the indwelling God。 That there was
danger lurking in such a creed he was very well aware。 The
grosser temptations of the world money and the vulgar
attributes
of power had； indeed； no charms for him； but there were subtler
and more insinuating allurements which it was not so easy to
resist。 More than one observer declared that ambition was； in
reality； the essential motive in his life： ambition； neither for
wealth nor titles； but for fame and influence； for the swaying of
multitudes； and for that kind of enlarged and intensified
existence 'where breath breathes most even in the mouths of men'。
Was it so？ In the depths of Gordon's soul there were intertwining
contradictions intricate recesses where egoism and renunciation
melted into one another； where the flesh lost itself in the
spirit； and the spirit in the flesh。 What was the Will of God？
The question； which first became insistent during his retirement
at Gravesend； never afterwards left him； it might almost be said
that he spent the remainder of his life in searching for the
answer to it。 In all his Odysseys； in all his strange and
agitated adventures； a day never passed on which he neglected the
voice of eternal wisdom as it spoke through the words of Paul or
Solomon； of Jonah or Habakkuk。 He opened his Bible； he read； and
then he noted down his reflections upon scraps of paper； which；
periodically pinned together； he dispatched to one or other of
his religious friends； and particularly his sister Augusta。 The
published extracts from these voluminous outpourings lay bare the
inner history of Gordon's spirit； and reveal the pious visionary
of Gravesend in the restless hero of three continents。
His seclusion came to an end in a distinctly providential manner。
In accordance with a stipulation in the Treaty of Paris； an
international commission had been appointed to improve the
navigation of the Danube； and Gordon； who had acted on a similar
body fifteen years earlier； was sent out to represent Great
Britain。 At Constantinople； he chanced to meet the Egyptian
minister； Nubar Pasha。 The Governorship of the Equatorial
Provinces of the Sudan was about to fall vacant； and Nubar
offered the post to Gordon； who accepted it。 'For some wise
design；' he wrote to his sister； 'God turns events one way or
another； whether man likes it or not； as a man driving a horse
turns it to right or left without consideration as to whether the
horse likes that way or not。 To be happy； a man must be like a
well…broken； willing horse； ready for anything。 Events will go as
God likes。'
And then followed six years of extraordinary； desperate；
unceasing； and ungrateful labour。 The unexplored and pestilential
region of Equatoria； stretching southwards to the Great Lakes and
the sources of the Nile； had been annexed to Egypt by the Khedive
Ismail； who； while he squandered his millions on Parisian ballet…
dancers； dreamt strange dreams of glory and empire。 Those dim
tracts of swamp and forest in Central Africa were so he
declared to be 'opened up'； they were to receive the blessings
of civilisation； they were to become a source of eternal honour
to himself and Egypt。 The slave…trade； which flourished there；
was to be put down； the savage inhabitants were to become
acquainted with freedom； justice； and prosperity。 Incidentally； a
government monopoly in ivory was to be established； and the place
was to be made a paying concern。 Ismail； hopelessly in debt to a
horde of European creditors； looked to Europe to support him in
his schemes。 Europe； and； in particular； England； with her
passion for extraneous philanthropy； was not averse。
Sir Samuel Baker became the first Governor of Equatoria； and now
Gordon was to carry on the good work。 In such circumstances it
was
only natural that Gordon should consider himself a special
instrument
in God's band。 To put his disinterestedness beyond doubt； he
reduced his salary； which had been fixed at ￡10；000； to ￡2；000。
He
took over his new duties early in 1874； and it was not long
before he had a first hint of disillusionment。 On his way up the
Nile； he was received in state at Khartoum by the Egyptian
Governor General of the Sudan； his immediate official superior。
The function ended in a prolonged banquet； followed by a mixed
ballet of soldiers and completely naked young women； who danced
in a circle； beat time with their feet； and accompanied their
gestures with a curious sound of clucking。 At last the Austrian
Consul； overcome by the exhilaration of the scene； flung himself
in a frenzy among the dancers； the Governor…General； shouting
with delight； seemed about to follow suit； when Gordon abruptly
left the room； and the party broke up in confusion。
When； 1；500 miles to the southward； Gordon reached the seat of
his government； and the desolation of the Tropics closed over
him； the agonising nature of his task stood fully revealed。 For
the next three years he struggled with enormous difficulties
with the confused and horrible country； the appalling climate；
the maddening insects and the loathsome diseases； the
indifference of subordinates and superiors； the savagery of the
slave…traders； and the hatred of the inhabitants。 One by one the
small company of his European staff succumbed。 With a few hundred
Egyptian soldiers he had to suppress insurrections； make roads；
establish fortified posts； and enforce the government monopoly of
ivory。 All this he accomplished； he even succeeded in sending
enough money to Cairo to pay for the expenses of the expedition。
But a deep gloom had fallen upon his spirit。 When； after a series
of incredible obstacles had been overcome； a steamer was launched
upon the unexplored Albert Nyanza； he turned his back upon the
lake； leaving the glory of its navigation to his Italian
lieutenant； Gessi。 'I wish；' he wrote； 'to give a practical proof
of what I think regarding the inordinate praise which is given to
an explorer。' Among his distresses and self…mortifications； he
loathed the thought of all such honours； and remembered the
attentions of English society with a snarl。 'When； D。V。； I get
home； I do not dine out。 My reminiscences of these lands will
not be more pleasant to me than the China ones。 What I shall have
done； will be what I have done。 Men think giving dinners is
conferring a favour on you。。。 Why not give dinn