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wish it could have the effect of reminding the Tulrumbles of
another sphere； that puffed…up conceit is not dignity； and that
snarling at the little pleasures they were once glad to enjoy；
because they would rather forget the times when they were of lower
station； renders them objects of contempt and ridicule。
This is the first time we have published any of our gleanings from
this particular source。 Perhaps； at some future period； we may
venture to open the chronicles of Mudfog。
FULL REPORT OF THE FIRST MEETING OF THE MUDFOG ASSOCIATION
FOR THE ADVANCEMENT OF EVERYTHING
We have made the most unparalleled and extraordinary exertions to
place before our readers a complete and accurate account of the
proceedings at the late grand meeting of the Mudfog Association；
holden in the town of Mudfog； it affords us great happiness to lay
the result before them； in the shape of various communications
received from our able； talented； and graphic correspondent；
expressly sent down for the purpose； who has immortalized us；
himself； Mudfog； and the association； all at one and the same time。
We have been； indeed； for some days unable to determine who will
transmit the greatest name to posterity； ourselves； who sent our
correspondent down； our correspondent； who wrote an account of the
matter； or the association； who gave our correspondent something to
write about。 We rather incline to the opinion that we are the
greatest man of the party； inasmuch as the notion of an exclusive
and authentic report originated with us； this may be prejudice： it
may arise from a prepossession on our part in our own favour。 Be
it so。 We have no doubt that every gentleman concerned in this
mighty assemblage is troubled with the same complaint in a greater
or less degree； and it is a consolation to us to know that we have
at least this feeling in common with the great scientific stars；
the brilliant and extraordinary luminaries； whose speculations we
record。
We give our correspondent's letters in the order in which they
reached us。 Any attempt at amalgamating them into one beautiful
whole； would only destroy that glowing tone； that dash of wildness；
and rich vein of picturesque interest； which pervade them
throughout。
'MUDFOG； MONDAY NIGHT； SEVEN O'CLOCK。
'We are in a state of great excitement here。 Nothing is spoken of；
but the approaching meeting of the association。 The inn…doors are
thronged with waiters anxiously looking for the expected arrivals；
and the numerous bills which are wafered up in the windows of
private houses； intimating that there are beds to let within； give
the streets a very animated and cheerful appearance； the wafers
being of a great variety of colours； and the monotony of printed
inscriptions being relieved by every possible size and style of
hand…writing。 It is confidently rumoured that Professors Snore；
Doze； and Wheezy have engaged three beds and a sitting…room at the
Pig and Tinder…box。 I give you the rumour as it has reached me；
but I cannot； as yet； vouch for its accuracy。 The moment I have
been enabled to obtain any certain information upon this
interesting point； you may depend upon receiving it。'
'HALF…PAST SEVEN。
I have just returned from a personal interview with the landlord of
the Pig and Tinder…box。 He speaks confidently of the probability
of Professors Snore； Doze； and Wheezy taking up their residence at
his house during the sitting of the association； but denies that
the beds have been yet engaged； in which representation he is
confirmed by the chambermaid … a girl of artless manners； and
interesting appearance。 The boots denies that it is at all likely
that Professors Snore； Doze； and Wheezy will put up here； but I
have reason to believe that this man has been suborned by the
proprietor of the Original Pig； which is the opposition hotel。
Amidst such conflicting testimony it is difficult to arrive at the
real truth； but you may depend upon receiving authentic information
upon this point the moment the fact is ascertained。 The excitement
still continues。 A boy fell through the window of the pastrycook's
shop at the corner of the High…street about half an hour ago； which
has occasioned much confusion。 The general impression is； that it
was an accident。 Pray heaven it may prove so！'
'TUESDAY； NOON。
'At an early hour this morning the bells of all the churches struck
seven o'clock； the effect of which； in the present lively state of
the town； was extremely singular。 While I was at breakfast； a
yellow gig； drawn by a dark grey horse； with a patch of white over
his right eyelid； proceeded at a rapid pace in the direction of the
Original Pig stables； it is currently reported that this gentleman
has arrived here for the purpose of attending the association； and；
from what I have heard； I consider it extremely probable； although
nothing decisive is yet known regarding him。 You may conceive the
anxiety with which we are all looking forward to the arrival of the
four o'clock coach this afternoon。
'Notwithstanding the excited state of the populace； no outrage has
yet been committed； owing to the admirable discipline and
discretion of the police； who are nowhere to be seen。 A barrel…
organ is playing opposite my window； and groups of people； offering
fish and vegetables for sale； parade the streets。 With these
exceptions everything is quiet； and I trust will continue so。'
'FIVE O'CLOCK。
'It is now ascertained； beyond all doubt； that Professors Snore；
Doze； and Wheezy will NOT repair to the Pig and Tinder…box； but
have actually engaged apartments at the Original Pig。 This
intelligence is EXCLUSIVE； and I leave you and your readers to draw
their own inferences from it。 Why Professor Wheezy； of all people
in the world； should repair to the Original Pig in preference to
the Pig and Tinder…box； it is not easy to conceive。 The professor
is a man who should be above all such petty feelings。 Some people
here openly impute treachery； and a distinct breach of faith to
Professors Snore and Doze； while others； again； are disposed to
acquit them of any culpability in the transaction； and to insinuate
that the blame rests solely with Professor Wheezy。 I own that I
incline to the latter opinion； and although it gives me great pain
to speak in terms of censure or disapprobation of a man of such
transcendent genius and acquirements； still I am bound to say that；
if my suspicions be well founded； and if all the reports which have
reached my ears be true； I really do not well know what to make of
the matter。
'Mr。 Slug； so celebrated for his statistical researches； arrived
this afternoon by the four o'clock stage。 His complexion is a dark
purple； and he has a habit of sighing constantly。 He looked
extremely well； and appeared in high health and spirits。 Mr。
Woodensconce also came down in the same conveyance。 The
distinguished gentl