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melancholy instance of a presentiment entertained by the animal of
his approaching dissolution; was recorded。 After gratifying a
numerous and fashionable company with his performances; in which no
falling off whatever was visible; he fixed his eyes on the
biographer; and; turning to the watch which lay on the floor; and
on which he was accustomed to point out the hour; deliberately
passed his snout twice round the dial。 In precisely four…and…
twenty hours from that time he had ceased to exist!
'PROFESSOR WHEEZY inquired whether; previous to his demise; the
animal had expressed; by signs or otherwise; any wishes regarding
the disposal of his little property。
'MR。 BLUNDERUM replied; that; when the biographer took up the pack
of cards at the conclusion of the performance; the animal grunted
several times in a significant manner; and nodding his head as he
was accustomed to do; when gratified。 From these gestures it was
understood that he wished the attendant to keep the cards; which he
had ever since done。 He had not expressed any wish relative to his
watch; which had accordingly been pawned by the same individual。
'THE PRESIDENT wished to know whether any Member of the section had
ever seen or conversed with the pig…faced lady; who was reported to
have worn a black velvet mask; and to have taken her meals from a
golden trough。
'After some hesitation a Member replied that the pig…faced lady was
his mother…in…law; and that he trusted the President would not
violate the sanctity of private life。
'THE PRESIDENT begged pardon。 He had considered the pig…faced lady
a public character。 Would the honourable member object to state;
with a view to the advancement of science; whether she was in any
way connected with the learned pig?
'The Member replied in the same low tone; that; as the question
appeared to involve a suspicion that the learned pig might be his
half…brother; he must decline answering it。
'SECTION B。 … ANATOMY AND MEDICINE。
COACH…HOUSE; PIG AND TINDER…BOX。
PRESIDENT … Dr。 Toorell。 VICE…PRESIDENTS … Professors Muff and
Nogo。
DR。 KUTANKUMAGEN (of Moscow) read to the section a report of a case
which had occurred within his own practice; strikingly illustrative
of the power of medicine; as exemplified in his successful
treatment of a virulent disorder。 He had been called in to visit
the patient on the 1st of April; 1837。 He was then labouring under
symptoms peculiarly alarming to any medical man。 His frame was
stout and muscular; his step firm and elastic; his cheeks plump and
red; his voice loud; his appetite good; his pulse full and round。
He was in the constant habit of eating three meals PER DIEM; and of
drinking at least one bottle of wine; and one glass of spirituous
liquors diluted with water; in the course of the four…and…twenty
hours。 He laughed constantly; and in so hearty a manner that it
was terrible to hear him。 By dint of powerful medicine; low diet;
and bleeding; the symptoms in the course of three days perceptibly
decreased。 A rigid perseverance in the same course of treatment
for only one week; accompanied with small doses of water…gruel;
weak broth; and barley…water; led to their entire disappearance。
In the course of a month he was sufficiently recovered to be
carried down…stairs by two nurses; and to enjoy an airing in a
close carriage; supported by soft pillows。 At the present moment
he was restored so far as to walk about; with the slight assistance
of a crutch and a boy。 It would perhaps be gratifying to the
section to learn that he ate little; drank little; slept little;
and was never heard to laugh by any accident whatever。
'DR。 W。 R。 FEE; in complimenting the honourable member upon the
triumphant cure he had effected; begged to ask whether the patient
still bled freely?
'DR。 KUTANKUMAGEN replied in the affirmative。
'DR。 W。 R。 FEE。 … And you found that he bled freely during the
whole course of the disorder?
'DR。 KUTANKUMAGEN。 … Oh dear; yes; most freely。
'DR。 NEESHAWTS supposed; that if the patient had not submitted to
be bled with great readiness and perseverance; so extraordinary a
cure could never; in fact; have been accomplished。 Dr。
Kutankumagen rejoined; certainly not。
'MR。 KNIGHT BELL (M。R。C。S。) exhibited a wax preparation of the
interior of a gentleman who in early life had inadvertently
swallowed a door…key。 It was a curious fact that a medical student
of dissipated habits; being present at the POST MORTEM examination;
found means to escape unobserved from the room; with that portion
of the coats of the stomach upon which an exact model of the
instrument was distinctly impressed; with which he hastened to a
locksmith of doubtful character; who made a new key from the
pattern so shown to him。 With this key the medical student entered
the house of the deceased gentleman; and committed a burglary to a
large amount; for which he was subsequently tried and executed。
'THE PRESIDENT wished to know what became of the original key after
the lapse of years。 Mr。 Knight Bell replied that the gentleman was
always much accustomed to punch; and it was supposed the acid had
gradually devoured it。
'DR。 NEESHAWTS and several of the members were of opinion that the
key must have lain very cold and heavy upon the gentleman's
stomach。
'MR。 KNIGHT BELL believed it did at first。 It was worthy of
remark; perhaps; that for some years the gentleman was troubled
with a night…mare; under the influence of which he always imagined
himself a wine…cellar door。
'PROFESSOR MUFF related a very extraordinary and convincing proof
of the wonderful efficacy of the system of infinitesimal doses;
which the section were doubtless aware was based upon the theory
that the very minutest amount of any given drug; properly dispersed
through the human frame; would be productive of precisely the same
result as a very large dose administered in the usual manner。
Thus; the fortieth part of a grain of calomel was supposed to be
equal to a five…grain calomel pill; and so on in proportion
throughout the whole range of medicine。 He had tried the
experiment in a curious manner upon a publican who had been brought
into the hospital with a broken head; and was cured upon the
infinitesimal system in the incredibly short space of three months。
This man was a hard drinker。 He (Professor Muff) had dispersed
three drops of rum through a bucket of water; and requested the man
to drink the whole。 What was the result? Before he had drunk a
quart; he was in a state of beastly intoxication; and five other
men were made dead drunk with the remainder。
'THE PRESIDENT wished to know whether an infinitesimal dose of
soda…water would have recovered them? Professor Muff replied that
the twenty…fifth part of a teaspoonful; properly administered to
each patient; would have sobered him immediately。 The President
remarked that