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FONDLEWIFE alone。
And in the meantime I will reason with myself。 Tell me； Isaac； why art thee jealous？ Why art thee distrustful of the wife of thy bosom？ Because she is young and vigorous； and I am old and impotent。 Then why didst thee marry； Isaac？ Because she was beautiful and tempting； and because I was obstinate and doting； so that my inclination was （and is still） greater than my power。 And will not that which tempted thee； also tempt others； who will tempt her； Isaac？ I fear it much。 But does not thy wife love thee； nay； dote upon thee？ Yes。 Why then！ Ay； but to say truth； she's fonder of me than she has reason to be； and in the way of trade； we still suspect the smoothest dealers of the deepest designs。 And that she has some designs deeper than thou canst reach； thou hast experimented； Isaac。 But； mum。
SCENE IV。
FONDLEWIFE； LAETITIA。
LAET。 I hope my dearest jewel is not going to leave meare you； Nykin？
FOND。 Wifehave you thoroughly considered how detestable； how heinous； and how crying a sin the sin of adultery is？ Have you weighed it； I say？ For it is a very weighty sin； and although it may lie heavy upon thee； yet thy husband must also bear his part。 For thy iniquity will fall upon his head。
LAET。 Bless me； what means my dear？
FOND。 ＇Aside。＇ I profess she has an alluring eye； I am doubtful whether I shall trust her； even with Tribulation himself。 Speak； I say； have you considered what it is to cuckold your husband？
LAET。 ＇Aside。＇ I'm amazed。 Sure he has discovered nothing。 Who has wronged me to my dearest？ I hope my jewel does not think that ever I had any such thing in my head； or ever will have。
FOND。 No； no； I tell you I shall have it in my head …
LAET。 ＇Aside。＇ I know not what to think。 But I'm resolved to find the meaning of it。 Unkind dear！ Was it for this you sent to call me？ Is it not affliction enough that you are to leave me； but you must study to increase it by unjust suspicions？ ＇Crying。＇ Wellwellyou know my fondness； and you love to tyranniseGo on； cruel man； do： triumph over my poor heart while it holds； which cannot be long； with this usage of yours。 But that's what you want。 Well； you will have your ends soon。 You willyou will。 Yes； it will break to oblige you。 ＇Sighs。＇
FOND。 Verily； I fear I have carried the jest too far。 Nay； look you now if she does not weep'tis the fondest fool。 Nay； Cocky； Cocky； nay； dear Cocky； don't cry； I was but in jest； I was not； ifeck。
LAET。 ＇Aside。＇ Oh then； all's safe。 I was terribly frighted。 My affliction is always your jest； barbarous man！ Oh； that I should love to this degree！ Yet …
FOND。 Nay； Cocky。
LAET。 No； no； you are weary of me； that's itthat's all； you would get another wifeanother fond fool； to break her heart Well； be as cruel as you can to me； I'll pray for you； and when I am dead with grief； may you have one that will love you as well as I have done： I shall be contented to lie at peace in my cold gravesince it will please you。 ＇Sighs。＇
FOND。 Good lack； good lack； she would melt a heart of oakI profess I can hold no longer。 Nay； dear Cockyifeck； you'll break my heartifeck you will。 See； you have made me weepmade poor Nykin weep。 Nay； come kiss； buss poor Nykinand I won't leave theeI'll lose all first。
LAET。 ＇Aside。＇ How！ Heaven forbid！ that will be carrying the jest too far indeed。
FOND。 Won't you kiss Nykin？
LAET。 Go； naughty Nykin； you don't love me。
FOND。 Kiss； kiss； ifeck； I do。
LAET。 No； you don't。 ＇She kisses him。＇
FOND。 What； not love Cocky！
LAET。 No…h。 ＇Sighs。＇
FOND。 I profess I do love thee better than five hundred poundand so thou shalt say； for I'll leave it to stay with thee。
LAET。 No you sha'n't neglect your business for me。 No； indeed； you sha'n't； Nykin。 If you don't go； I'll think you been dealous of me still。
FOND。 He； he； he； wilt thou； poor fool？ Then I will go； I won't be dealous。 Poor Cocky； kiss Nykin； kiss Nykin； ee； ee； ee。 Here will be the good man anon； to talk to Cocky and teach her how a wife ought to behave herself。
LAET。 ＇Aside。＇ I hope to have one that will show me how a husband ought to behave himself。 I shall be glad to learn； to please my jewel。 ＇Kiss。＇
FOND。 That's my good dear。 Come； kiss Nykin once more； and then get you in。 Soget you in； get you in。 Bye； bye。
LAET。 Bye； Nykin。
FOND。 Bye； Cocky。
LAET。 Bye； Nykin。
FOND。 Bye； Cocky； bye； bye。
SCENE V。
VAINLOVE； SHARPER。
SHARP。 How！ Araminta lost！
VAIN。 To confirm what I have said； read this。 ＇Gives a letter。＇
SHARP。 ＇Reads。＇ Hum； hum！ And what then appeared a fault； upon reflection seems only an effect of a too powerful passion。 I'm afraid I give too great a proof of my own at this time。 I am in disorder for what I have written。 But something； I know not what； forced me。 I only beg a favourable censure of this and your ARAMINTA。
SHARP。 Lost！ Pray heaven thou hast not lost thy wits。 Here； here； she's thy own； man； signed and sealed too。 To her； mana delicious melon； pure and consenting ripe； and only waits thy cutting up： she has been breeding love to thee all this while； and just now she's delivered of it。
VAIN。 'Tis an untimely fruit； and she has miscarried of her love。
SHARP。 Never leave this damned ill…natured whimsey； Frank？ Thou hast a sickly； peevish appetite； only chew love and cannot digest it。
VAIN。 Yes； when I feed myself。 But I hate to be crammed。 By heaven； there's not a woman will give a man the pleasure of a chase： my sport is always balked or cut short。 I stumble over the game I would pursue。 'Tis dull and unnatural to have a hare run full in the hounds' mouth； and would distaste the keenest hunter。 I would have overtaken； not have met； my game。
SHARP。 However； I hope you don't mean to forsake it； that will be but a kind of mongrel cur's trick。 Well； are you for the Mall？
VAIN。 No； she will be there this evening。 Yes； I will go too； and she shall see her error in …
SHARP。 In her choice； I…gad。 But thou canst not be so great a brute as to slight her。
VAIN。 I should disappoint her if I did not。 By her management I should think she expects it。
All naturally fly what does pursue： 'Tis fit men should be coy when women woo。
SCENE VI。
A Room in Fondlewife's House。
A SERVANT introducing BELLMOUR； in fanatic habit； with a patch upon one eye and a book in his hand。
SERV。 Here's a chair； sir； if you please to repose yourself。 My mistress is coming； sir。
BELL。 Secure in my disguise I have out…faced suspicion and even dared discovery。 This cloak my sanctity； and trusty Scarron's novels my prayer…book； methinks I am the very picture of Montufar in the Hypocrites。 Oh！ she comes。
SCENE VII。
BELLMOUR； LAETITIA。
So breaks Aurora through the veil of night； Thus fly the clouds； divided by her light； And every eye receives a new…born sight。 ＇Throwing off his cloak； patch； etc。＇
LAET。 Thus strewed with blushes； likeAh！ Heaven defend me！ Who's this？ ＇Discovering him； starts。＇
BELL。 Your lover。
LAET。 Vainlove's friend！ I know his face； and he has betrayed me to him。 ＇Asi